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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Be The Change You Want To See

    , | Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money

    (I’m picking up my son from elementary school when he asks for ice cream. The man selling outside is in his 50s-60s and pushing an ice cream cart in 100+ degree weather. There’s a 10 year old boy with his 5 year old sister ahead of us.)

    Girl: “I want that one”

    Boy: “How much is that?”

    Ice cream Man: “$1.50″

    Boy: *to sister* “We only have two dollars.”

    Sister: “I want that one.”

    (She points to another that also turns out to be $1.50, this goes on for another three times until the man finally sells them for $1 instead of $1.50.)

    Boy: “I’ll take two.”

    (The man’s expression seems like he can’t afford to lose a penny but he gives it to them anyway.)

    Son: “I’ll take that one.”

    Ice Cream Man: “That’s $1.00.”

    (I hand him $3.00 and tell him it’s to cover the kids in front of us. The man seems so relieved it made me wish I had more change.)

    Hashtag STFU

    | Canada | Family & Kids, Technology

    (I’m scooping ice cream when four girls approach, probably in their early teens. One girl doesn’t look up from her cellphone the entire time.)

    Girl #1: “Like, O-M-G. We should totes get ice cream.”

    Girl #2: “We should! Hashtag delicious!”

    (At this point I sort of do a double take as I have never heard anyone use ‘O-M-G’ and ‘hashtag’ in an actual sentence. )

    Girl #3: “Totes hashtag guilty pleasure. Hashtag favourite food.”

    Girl #1: “O-M-G . What flavors should we get? Hashtag decisions!”

    Girl #3: “Hashtag double scoops. Hashtag muffin top! Let’s each get two scoops! We’re soooo bad!”

    (They proceeded to get their ice cream and then I witnessed them all smooshed together outside the store taking selfies with their ice cream cones, all while making a duck face. I needed to take a break after that to regather my faith in humanity.)

    Putting Yourself Into An Awkward Superposition

    | West Lafayette, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m studying physics at a major university. I work at an ice cream store, and when we don’t have anything to do I usually do my reading for physics. A customer walks up to the counter to get a spoon, and then sees one of the diagrams in my physics book.)

    Customer: “Oh, you’re reading a picture book. I’m glad you found something that you’re smart enough to read. What’s it about?”

    Me: “String theory and theoretical quantum physics.”

    Customer: *long pause*

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; should I use smaller words? Maybe I could draw you a picture?”

    Customer: *quietly* “May I please have a spoon?”

    Strawberry Fields Forever

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am ordering ice-cream for my family and me.)

    Cashier: “What can I get for you?”

    Me: “I’ll have a scoop of strawberry, please.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan today.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! Chocolate, then.”

    Cashier: “Alright, anything else?”

    Dad: “I’ll have a strawberry shake.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

    Dad: “Oh right, a chocolate shake then.”

    Sister: “I want a strawberry sundae!”

    Cashier: “We only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

    Sister: “Okay, vanilla.”

    Me: “Does that happen a lot?”

    Cashier: “Often enough that I look forward to the days we actually have strawberry.”

    Just Plain Nuts

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    Customer: “So, does the Rocky Road have peanuts in it? I’m allergic to peanuts.”

    Me: “I’m afraid it does, sir. I’d recommend the Cookie Dough; it’s very good.”

    Customer: “No, no, I’ve had that before. Thanks for telling me about the Rocky Road though. Allergies, you know?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, my friend is very allergic to peanuts, too.”

    Customer: “You’re such a nice girl. All right, I think I’ll have vanilla with the peanut butter candy on top.”

    Me: “Sir? Um… the candy has p—”

    Customer: “Look, kiddo, you were a big help but gimme my darn ice cream, okay? I’m in a bit of a hurry!”

    Me: “Sir, you just told me you had a peanut allergy. I can’t in good conscience give you that topping.”

    Customer: “You’re a teenager. You don’t have a conscience! You’re probably waiting for your boyfriend to show up so you can have sex and do drugs!”

    Me: *dumbstruck*

    Other Customer: “Hey, jerkface, she’s trying to tell you that the candy has peanuts in it! For not having a conscience, she’s being pretty nice about keeping you out of the hospital!”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff*

    Other Customer: “I’m not allergic to peanuts or delusional. One Rocky Road!”

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