Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • The Forbidden Fruit

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Top

    (I’ve just finished putting a cherry on top of an older woman’s ice cream. It’s slowly starting to roll down the side.)

    Me: “Oh, watch it! You’re about to lose your cherry!”

    Customer: “Oh dearie, I lost that a long time ago.”

    Living A Vanilla Kind Of Life

    | North Carolina, USA |

    Me: “What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a small cone.”

    Me: “A small cone with what kind of ice cream?”

    Customer: “Small.”

    Me: “But, what kind?”

    Customer: “A small scoop!”

    Me: “But what flavor!”

    Customer: “Oh! I didn’t know I had that option.”

    The Karma Of Capitalism

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Me: “Can I help you sir?”

    Customer: “Can you…do…this coupon?” *holds out coupon*

    Me: “Yes, our two-for-one special. What flavors would you like?”

    (The customer then dictates two particularly long and complicated orders.)

    Customer: “I don’t like the energy you gave off while making those ice creams. Make them again.”

    Me: “Okay…I’ll try to change my energy, sir.”

    (Later, after I re-did the order.)

    Me: “That would be $3.66, please.”

    Customer: “But I have a coupon.”

    Me: “A two-for-one means you have to pay for one of the two ice creams.”

    Customer: “Pay…? But…free?”

    Me: “You have to pay, yes.”

    Customer: “But I just wanted free ice-cream…”

    Me: “Do you even have any money?”

    Customer: “What the h*** do I need money for? I have a coupon!”

    Clandestine Calorie Cutters

    | Clifton Park, NY, USA |

    Customer 1: “Do you have any sugar-free ice cream?”

    Customer 2: “Yeah, that a diabetic can eat?”

    (The two spend the next five minutes sampling almost every frozen yogurt we have and inquiring into the sugar content of everything. I went along with it, not wanting to put someone in a diabetic coma or anything.)

    Customer 2: “OK, we’ll take two of the blueberry pomegranate yogurt on sugar cones.”

    Me: “You’re aware that sugar cones contain sugar, right?”

    Customer 2: “Oh, we’re not really diabetic, we just didn’t want you to sneak us something fattening.”

    Fudge In Flight

    | Manchester, UK | Top

    Customer: “This isnt a hot fudge sundae.”

    Coworker: “No, it isn’t. I’m afraid we don’t make it with hot fudge here.”

    Customer: “Then I’m not paying for it!”

    Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to. The menu states that it’s not made with hot fudge.”

    Customer: “FINE!” *throws the ice cream at my coworker*

    Coworker: *covered with ice cream* “I’m suddenly glad we don’t have hot fudge.”

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