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    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

    | Tasmania, Australia |

    (Note: I am standing under a sign that says ‘Gluten-Free Mousse’)

    Customer: “Is the gluten-free mousse gluten free?”

    Me: “You mean the ‘gluten-free mousse’?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Is it gluten free?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? How do you know?”

    Me: “Because the sign says it’s gluten-free.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay then. I’ll just have a bottle of water.”

    Me: “No mousse?”

    Customer: “No, you can never be too sure about what has gluten in it!”

    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 3

    | Florida, USA |

    Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

    Customer: “I want the chocolate ice cream.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. What size would you like?”

    Customer: “I want the size that fits in the waffle cone.”

    Me: “All of our sizes will fit in the waffles.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

    Me: “What size would you like?”

    Customer: “The one that comes in a waffle cone.”

    Me: “We can put any of the sizes in the waffles.”

    Customer: (Pause.) “Will the small fit in the waffle cone?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “What about the medium?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “And the large?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: (Longer pause.) “So, if I get the medium, can you put it in a waffle cone?”

    Related:
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

    The Forbidden Fruit

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Top

    (I’ve just finished putting a cherry on top of an older woman’s ice cream. It’s slowly starting to roll down the side.)

    Me: “Oh, watch it! You’re about to lose your cherry!”

    Customer: “Oh dearie, I lost that a long time ago.”

    Living A Vanilla Kind Of Life

    | North Carolina, USA |

    Me: “What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a small cone.”

    Me: “A small cone with what kind of ice cream?”

    Customer: “Small.”

    Me: “But, what kind?”

    Customer: “A small scoop!”

    Me: “But what flavor!”

    Customer: “Oh! I didn’t know I had that option.”

    The Karma Of Capitalism

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Me: “Can I help you sir?”

    Customer: “Can you…do…this coupon?” *holds out coupon*

    Me: “Yes, our two-for-one special. What flavors would you like?”

    (The customer then dictates two particularly long and complicated orders.)

    Customer: “I don’t like the energy you gave off while making those ice creams. Make them again.”

    Me: “Okay…I’ll try to change my energy, sir.”

    (Later, after I re-did the order.)

    Me: “That would be $3.66, please.”

    Customer: “But I have a coupon.”

    Me: “A two-for-one means you have to pay for one of the two ice creams.”

    Customer: “Pay…? But…free?”

    Me: “You have to pay, yes.”

    Customer: “But I just wanted free ice-cream…”

    Me: “Do you even have any money?”

    Customer: “What the h*** do I need money for? I have a coupon!”

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