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    Living On The Edge (Comic)

    | NEW YORK, NY, USA | Old Comics


    Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

    A Diet Made Up Of Wishful Shrinking

    | Oxford, OH, USA |

    (The customer orders a large mix of cake batter and chocolate ice creams, with cookie dough mixed in.)

    Customer: “Do you know how many calories are in this?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Probably over 1000.”

    Customer: “Oh God, you’re kidding right? Please tell me you’re kidding. I’m on a diet and I can’t have anything over 100 calories.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that.”

    Customer: “I feel horrible about myself. I’m going to get fat. Please, tell me it’s under 100 calories.”

    Me: “Okay. It’s 95.”

    Customer: *instantly perks up* “Really? I can’t believe this whole thing is only 95 calories! I feel great about myself now!”

    (The customer skips off and goes to her girlfriends, bragging about how she’s sticking to her diet.)

    I Now Pronounce You Employed

    | Michigan, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

    (The customer leaves, frustrated. Not 10 minutes later, he returns.)

    Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

    (The customer gets down on one knee.)

    Customer: “Will you marry me?”

    Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

    (Whole shop applauds.)

    Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”

    Prices Are Frozen

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (Two young children under the age of 10 walk into the shop without an adult.)

    Boy: “Is the ice cream free?”

    Me: “No.”

    Boy: “How much is it?”

    Me: “The cheapest one is a little over a dollar.”

    (Both the children go into the restroom for a while before coming out again.)

    Boy: “How much is the ice cream now?”

    I Scream For Pizza

    | Rome, Italy |

    (While working at a gelato shop in Rome, a tourist approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss! I’d like a pizza!”

    Me: “We don’t sell pizza here. This is a gelato shop.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? This is Italy! Don’t you have pizza in Italy?”

    Me: “Yes, we have pizza in Italy, but this is not a pizzeria, so we don’t sell pizza. There are pizzerias, though, if you look.”

    Customer: “So this is Italy?”

    Me: “Correct.”

    Customer: “And this is a restaurant.”

    Me: “Sort of, though we only sell the ice cream.”

    Customer: “But this is ITALY.”

    (After a few minutes of getting nowhere, my coworker attempts to help.)

    Coworker: *jokingly* “Ma’am, if you want pizza, I can get you some for 100 euros.”

    (100 euros is about $150 USD. Without hesitation, the customer pulls out two 50s and hands them to my coworker.)

    Co-worker: *hands the tourist the money back* “It’s okay, ma’am. Let me direct you to a nearby pizzeria…”

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