November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Literally Scream For Ice Cream

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(Today’s featured ice cream flavor of the day was ‘Boston Pie’.)

Me: “What kind of ice cream would you like?”

Little girl: “A scoop of the Boston Massacre, please.”

Father: “Sorry. That’s what she’s studying in school right now.”

Reaching Crunch Time

| St. Pete Beach, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like a scoop of chocolate.”

Me: “Cup or cone?”

Customer: “Do you have any edible cones?”

Me: “All of our cones are edible.”

Customer: “Can I take it with me on the beach?”

Me: “All cones are entirely portable.”

Customer: “Do you have any that don’t crunch?”

Belaboring The Flavoring

| CA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You only have 28 different flavors of ice cream. You’re supposed to have 31 flavors.”

Me: “Ah, yes. The company dropped the ‘flavors’ thing over a decade ago. Some smaller stores have as few as 16. The larger store downtown has 40 flavors. I should point out we do have four flavors of frozen yogurt as well, so that’s 32.”

Customer: *angry* “That’s false advertising! Your sign says ’31 flavors’! You’re supposed to have 31 different flavors!”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said. They dropped ‘flavors’ from the logo and signs over a decade ago. This store is less than eight years old. If you can find something that says ’31 flavors’, I will give you a quart of ice cream.”

Customer: *pointing* “Right there! Are you blind? Thir-ty-one f-l-a-v-o-r-s!”

Me: “What portion of it says ‘flavors’?”

Customer: “It’s right there! Under the 31!”

Me: “Look at the sign. Tell me what it says.”

Customer: “I don’t need to look at the d*** sign to… oh.”

(She pauses.)

Customer: “Oh. Pint of mint chip, please.”

Choosing A Flavor Should Be A Piece Of Cake

| Dublin, Ireland | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

*Me: “What can I get you?”
Customer: “What flavors do you have?”
Me: “They’re right on front of you–twenty flavors. What would you like?”
(About five minutes pass.)
Customer: “Can I have the Strawberry Cheesecake, but can you remove the cheesecake?”
Me: “Sir, I can’t remove the cheesecake. It’s mixed in.”
Customer: “Well, I like strawberry, but not cheesecake.”
Me: “May I recommend strawberry flavor?”
Customer: “Oh, no. The strawberry cheesecake sounds nicer.”


| Longmont, CO, USA | Bizarre, Top

Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I was wondering where your Louisville location is.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We do not have a store in that area.”

Caller: “Oh, okay.”

(Ten minutes later, the phone rings again. It is the same woman.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I was just wondering where your Louisville location is. The last girl I talked to sounded like a Taurus, and my horoscope today said I cannot trust one of those people.”

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’m a Scorpio. You can trust me when I say that we do not currently have a store in Louisville.”

Caller: “You mean [store name] hired a Scorpio? Those are the worst! Have your owners call me when they fire you so that I can finally go back there!” *hangs up*