Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,224 thumbs up)
  • I Now Pronounce You Employed

    | Michigan, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

    (The customer leaves, frustrated. Not 10 minutes later, he returns.)

    Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

    (The customer gets down on one knee.)

    Customer: “Will you marry me?”

    Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

    (Whole shop applauds.)

    Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”

    Prices Are Frozen

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (Two young children under the age of 10 walk into the shop without an adult.)

    Boy: “Is the ice cream free?”

    Me: “No.”

    Boy: “How much is it?”

    Me: “The cheapest one is a little over a dollar.”

    (Both the children go into the restroom for a while before coming out again.)

    Boy: “How much is the ice cream now?”

    I Scream For Pizza

    | Rome, Italy |

    (While working at a gelato shop in Rome, a tourist approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss! I’d like a pizza!”

    Me: “We don’t sell pizza here. This is a gelato shop.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? This is Italy! Don’t you have pizza in Italy?”

    Me: “Yes, we have pizza in Italy, but this is not a pizzeria, so we don’t sell pizza. There are pizzerias, though, if you look.”

    Customer: “So this is Italy?”

    Me: “Correct.”

    Customer: “And this is a restaurant.”

    Me: “Sort of, though we only sell the ice cream.”

    Customer: “But this is ITALY.”

    (After a few minutes of getting nowhere, my coworker attempts to help.)

    Coworker: *jokingly* “Ma’am, if you want pizza, I can get you some for 100 euros.”

    (100 euros is about $150 USD. Without hesitation, the customer pulls out two 50s and hands them to my coworker.)

    Co-worker: *hands the tourist the money back* “It’s okay, ma’am. Let me direct you to a nearby pizzeria…”

    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

    | Tasmania, Australia |

    (Note: I am standing under a sign that says ‘Gluten-Free Mousse’)

    Customer: “Is the gluten-free mousse gluten free?”

    Me: “You mean the ‘gluten-free mousse’?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Is it gluten free?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? How do you know?”

    Me: “Because the sign says it’s gluten-free.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay then. I’ll just have a bottle of water.”

    Me: “No mousse?”

    Customer: “No, you can never be too sure about what has gluten in it!”

    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 3

    | Florida, USA |

    Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

    Customer: “I want the chocolate ice cream.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. What size would you like?”

    Customer: “I want the size that fits in the waffle cone.”

    Me: “All of our sizes will fit in the waffles.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

    Me: “What size would you like?”

    Customer: “The one that comes in a waffle cone.”

    Me: “We can put any of the sizes in the waffles.”

    Customer: (Pause.) “Will the small fit in the waffle cone?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “What about the medium?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “And the large?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: (Longer pause.) “So, if I get the medium, can you put it in a waffle cone?”

    Related:
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

    Page 8/15First...678910...Last