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    Belaboring The Flavoring

    | CA, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “You only have 28 different flavors of ice cream. You’re supposed to have 31 flavors.”

    Me: “Ah, yes. The company dropped the ‘flavors’ thing over a decade ago. Some smaller stores have as few as 16. The larger store downtown has 40 flavors. I should point out we do have four flavors of frozen yogurt as well, so that’s 32.”

    Customer: *angry* “That’s false advertising! Your sign says ’31 flavors’! You’re supposed to have 31 different flavors!”

    Me: “Ma’am, like I said. They dropped ‘flavors’ from the logo and signs over a decade ago. This store is less than eight years old. If you can find something that says ’31 flavors’, I will give you a quart of ice cream.”

    Customer: *pointing* “Right there! Are you blind? Thir-ty-one f-l-a-v-o-r-s!”

    Me: “What portion of it says ‘flavors’?”

    Customer: “It’s right there! Under the 31!”

    Me: “Look at the sign. Tell me what it says.”

    Customer: “I don’t need to look at the d*** sign to… oh.”

    (She pauses.)

    Customer: “Oh. Pint of mint chip, please.”

    Choosing A Flavor Should Be A Piece Of Cake

    | Dublin, Ireland | Food & Drink

    *Me: “What can I get you?”
     
    Customer: “What flavors do you have?”
     
    Me: “They’re right on front of you–twenty flavors. What would you like?”
     
    (About five minutes pass.)
     
    Customer: “Can I have the Strawberry Cheesecake, but can you remove the cheesecake?”
     
    Me: “Sir, I can’t remove the cheesecake. It’s mixed in.”
     
    Customer: “Well, I like strawberry, but not cheesecake.”
     
    Me: “May I recommend strawberry flavor?”
     
    Customer: “Oh, no. The strawberry cheesecake sounds nicer.”

    Zodi-whack

    | Longmont, CO, USA | Bizarre, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering where your Louisville location is.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We do not have a store in that area.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay.”

    (Ten minutes later, the phone rings again. It is the same woman.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was just wondering where your Louisville location is. The last girl I talked to sounded like a Taurus, and my horoscope today said I cannot trust one of those people.”

    Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’m a Scorpio. You can trust me when I say that we do not currently have a store in Louisville.”

    Caller: “You mean [store name] hired a Scorpio? Those are the worst! Have your owners call me when they fire you so that I can finally go back there!” *hangs up*

    Living On The Edge (Comic)

    | NEW YORK, NY, USA | Old Comics


    Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

    A Diet Made Up Of Wishful Shrinking

    | Oxford, OH, USA |

    (The customer orders a large mix of cake batter and chocolate ice creams, with cookie dough mixed in.)

    Customer: “Do you know how many calories are in this?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Probably over 1000.”

    Customer: “Oh God, you’re kidding right? Please tell me you’re kidding. I’m on a diet and I can’t have anything over 100 calories.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that.”

    Customer: “I feel horrible about myself. I’m going to get fat. Please, tell me it’s under 100 calories.”

    Me: “Okay. It’s 95.”

    Customer: *instantly perks up* “Really? I can’t believe this whole thing is only 95 calories! I feel great about myself now!”

    (The customer skips off and goes to her girlfriends, bragging about how she’s sticking to her diet.)

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