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    Choosing A Flavor Should Be A Piece Of Cake

    | Dublin, Ireland | Food & Drink

    *Me: “What can I get you?”
     
    Customer: “What flavors do you have?”
     
    Me: “They’re right on front of you–twenty flavors. What would you like?”
     
    (About five minutes pass.)
     
    Customer: “Can I have the Strawberry Cheesecake, but can you remove the cheesecake?”
     
    Me: “Sir, I can’t remove the cheesecake. It’s mixed in.”
     
    Customer: “Well, I like strawberry, but not cheesecake.”
     
    Me: “May I recommend strawberry flavor?”
     
    Customer: “Oh, no. The strawberry cheesecake sounds nicer.”

    Zodi-whack

    | Longmont, CO, USA | Bizarre, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering where your Louisville location is.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We do not have a store in that area.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay.”

    (Ten minutes later, the phone rings again. It is the same woman.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was just wondering where your Louisville location is. The last girl I talked to sounded like a Taurus, and my horoscope today said I cannot trust one of those people.”

    Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’m a Scorpio. You can trust me when I say that we do not currently have a store in Louisville.”

    Caller: “You mean [store name] hired a Scorpio? Those are the worst! Have your owners call me when they fire you so that I can finally go back there!” *hangs up*

    Living On The Edge (Comic)

    | NEW YORK, NY, USA | Old Comics


    Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

    A Diet Made Up Of Wishful Shrinking

    | Oxford, OH, USA |

    (The customer orders a large mix of cake batter and chocolate ice creams, with cookie dough mixed in.)

    Customer: “Do you know how many calories are in this?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Probably over 1000.”

    Customer: “Oh God, you’re kidding right? Please tell me you’re kidding. I’m on a diet and I can’t have anything over 100 calories.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that.”

    Customer: “I feel horrible about myself. I’m going to get fat. Please, tell me it’s under 100 calories.”

    Me: “Okay. It’s 95.”

    Customer: *instantly perks up* “Really? I can’t believe this whole thing is only 95 calories! I feel great about myself now!”

    (The customer skips off and goes to her girlfriends, bragging about how she’s sticking to her diet.)

    I Now Pronounce You Employed

    | Michigan, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

    (The customer leaves, frustrated. Not 10 minutes later, he returns.)

    Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

    (The customer gets down on one knee.)

    Customer: “Will you marry me?”

    Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

    (Whole shop applauds.)

    Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”


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