Featured Story:
  • Thou Shalt Not Pick And Choose
    (2,006 thumbs up)
  • January Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!
    Submit your story today!

    Brother From The/Is The Same Mother

    | Newington, NH, USA |

    (One day, my brother stopped by my work to chat. He is about 6 feet tall, broad shouldered, has short hair, and a beard. A customer comes in, so I say goodbye to my brother and he leaves.)

    Customer: “What a funny looking girl!”

    Me: “Umm…that was my brother.”

    Customer: “That was your mother?!”

    Me: “Uh, no. My brother.”

    Customer: “Oh…*places order*

    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 5

    | West Orange, NJ, USA | Food & Drink

    (This takes place a few months before I leave for college. A lot of the kids working at the store are leaving for college soon, too. One of my coworkers has written “Tips for college kids” on the tip jar. A young mother walks in with her kids on a slow afternoon. After she reads the tip jar, this exchange happens.)

    Customer: “Tips for college kids…I have a good tip. Stay away from tequila.”

    Me: “Why’s that, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I went through a lot of margaritas my freshman year. Now I can’t even look at tequila without feeling sick. Just stay away from it!”

    Me: “Don’t worry ma’am. I’ll stick to vodka.”

    (And yes, she did leave a nice tip!)

    Related:
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 4
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 3
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 2
    Be Careful What You Ask For

    Piece Of Cake

    | Hillsboro, OR, USA | Food & Drink

    (Note that I am not the cake decorator at my store. I have no clue how to build or frost cakes. On this particular day, I am working alone.)

    Customer: “Is this ice cream cake vanilla flavored?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s vanilla ice cream on white cake.”

    Customer: “What do you mean, white cake?”

    Me: “I mean, there’s white cake inside.”

    Customer: “There’s cake in there?”

    Me: “Um, well, yes. It is an ice cream cake. It’s made with ice cream and cake.”

    Customer: *looking distressed* “Oh…but, I don’t want cake! I want all ice cream! Can you take the cake part out for me?”

    Me: “Um, well, I’m not the decorator, so I don’t think–”

    Customer: “Just take out the cake part, frost it really quick, and I’ll buy it like that. It can’t be that hard.”

    Me: “So…you want me to scrape all the frosting off, take out the cake and throw it out, and then re-frost it for you real quick?”

    Customer: “Is that not possible?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but no.”

    (She ends up buying the cake anyway, but complains under her breath the entire process.)

    Color Me Stupid, Part 2

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a place that sells ice cream and Italian ice.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [ice cream parlor]. What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “I want something blue!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have anything blue today. Our flavors are listed on the board to your right.”

    Customer: *ignoring the flavor list* “Well, then, I want green!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we also don’t have anything green today. We only have the flavors on the board.”

    Customer: “You don’t have lemon!?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said you wanted green. But yes, we do have lemon.”

    Customer: “Wait! Lemons aren’t green?”

    Related:
    Color Me Stupid

    This Isn’t Team Jacob

    | NJ, USA | Food & Drink

    (In our ice cream shop, we have a deal where kids can get an ice cream cone with free sprinkles if they wear their team uniform. This is written on a big sign on the window. A family buys ice cream, and I charge them for sprinkles.)

    Customer: “Hey! You! Come over here!”

    Me: “Is there a problem, sir?”

    Customer: “Read this sign to me.”

    Me: “Get an ice cream cone with free sprinkles–”

    Customer: “Exactly! Free sprinkles! You charged me for these. Can’t you read?”

    Me: “Get an ice cream cone with free sprinkles if you wear your team uniform.”

    Customer: “Oh, well this is my team uniform!”

    (He’s wearing a black t-shirt and jeans.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not going to work.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m never coming back here again!”

    Page 5/15First...34567...Last