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    Government Is Going To Cone For You

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer in her mid-50s comes into the shop and begins looking around at all the varieties of ice cream.)

    Me: “Hi, do you know what you’d like?”

    Customer: “I sure do! I need some butter pecan in a waffle cone.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any waffle cones at this moment. Our waffle cone machine broke and we had to send it back to get another. We have cake and sugar cones, though.”

    Customer: “No, a ‘waaaaa-ffle’ cone. Waffle. Right here!” *points to sugar cones*

    Me: “Oh, a sugar cone! Sure thing, coming right up!”

    Customer: “No! Not a sugar cone! Waffle! Why won’t you give me what I want?! It’s the government, I tell you! They’re playing these evil mind tricks! I won’t fall for it, though! I won’t! I want a waffle cone!”

    Me: *grabs sugar cone* “Yes, ma’am.”

    (My coworker returns from her break, only having heard the last bit from the customer saying she wanted a waffle cone.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have any waffle cones right now.”

    Customer: “Not you, too! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy!” *storms out*

    Coworker: “Well, that escalated quickly.”

    Getting Heated About A Lack Of Heated Food

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a soft serve ice cream shop. The building has a window to serve people outside, as the inside is rather small. A woman literally drives up to the window.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t a drive through. Can you please park the car and order then?”

    Customer: “Do you have cheeseburgers?”

    Me: *confused* “Ma’am, this is an ice cream store. We don’t sell any hot foods.”

    Customer: “Do you have hot dogs?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we have no hot dogs, cheeseburgers, or anything hot. But I’m sure that the restaurant down the road has those?”

    Customer: “Can I have a large order of fries?”

    Me: “Ma’am we don’t have fries.”

    Customer: “Can I have a fish filet with ketchup?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please: we don’t have any fish, fries, chicken, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, pasta, or pizza.”

    Customer: *gives me a creepy stare*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    (The customer yells incomprehensibly, stomps on the gas, and does a donut in the parking lot before speeding away.)

    The Cake Is Not A Lie

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m making a banana split, when a woman frantically rushes over to me, waving her hands up and down.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, is everything all right?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes, I just have a question.”

    Me: “Okay, what is your question?”

    Customer: “These cakes in this case over here, the mint one… does it have cake in it?”

    Me: “…Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Does this cake have cake in it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, the cakes contain cake.”

    Freely Fraudulent

    | Vallejo, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “Hey, could I get a sample of the Rocky Road ice cream?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (I give the customer a small sampler spoon of Rocky Road.)

    Customer: “Yummy! Hey, could I get a bunch of these samplers, scooped in a cup?”

    Me: “Uh, sure?”

    (I grab the scoop and start to put Rocky Road in a cup.)

    Customer: “NO, NO, NO, NO! I wanted a bunch of free samples scooped in a cup!”

    Me: “…You want a free cup of ice cream?”

    Customer: “YES! HOW HARD WAS THAT TO UNDERSTAND?!”

    Me: “Sir, I cannot give you free ice cream.”

    Customer: “It’s not free ice cream. It’s a whole bunch of free samples!”

    Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change

    | NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (The following happens when a well-dressed man comes in with bags full of sweets and gifts.)

    Customer: “What’s your favorite flavor?!”

    Me: “I like the lemon.”

    Customer: “Then, give me that! A large! It’s for my wife!” *shakes with excitement*

    Me: “I guess those presents and sweets are for her, too?”

    Customer: *shakes with even more excitement* “YES! Yes they are!”

    Me: “Here you go. That will be five dollars—”

    Customer: *unable to contain himself* “MY WIFE IS PREGNANT! PREGNANT! I’m going to have a little son or daughter! HIGH FIVE!”

    (The customer proceeds to high five me over the register and throws a bill onto the table.)

    Customer: “I’m going to be a dad! Keep the change!” *skips out of the store*

    (The bill he threw? It was $50!)

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