This happened in winter in the northeastern US, so it was cold out and business was slow. This local businesswoman came to the store and stood there looking at the menu board. She was wearing a power suit and had a very cold expression on her face. The businesspeople were generally the worst. They felt because the staff were college kids that they could use that “the customer is always right” card and have carte blanche to say anything they wanted to us in the worst attitude. It was all a power trip for them.

On our menu board, we listed our ice cream flavors, of which we had about twenty. We also listed the price for our one-size, whole-milk-only frappe.

The top of the menu board (as well as the name of the store) made it clear that we were an ice cream operation. After staring at the menu board for close to five full minutes, this woman walked up to me and barked.

Customer: “Give me a small-size milkshake with low-fat milk, and I want you to use your non-fat cappuccino frozen yogurt.”

Oh, no. She got every single part of her order wrong!

Me: “We actually only serve ice cream here; we don’t have any frozen yogurt. We also only carry the flavors you see on the board, so we don’t have cappuccino, nor do we have anything that’s non-fat. Also, our milkshakes only come with whole milk, and they are one size only, which would be twenty ounces.”

She made this face like she’d just smelled bad cheese, gave a derisive laugh, and then screamed:

Customer: “DO… YOU… SPEAK… ENGLISH?!”

I was born and raised in the US, so yeah, I speak English with no discernible regional accent.

Customer: “Either get me what I ordered or get me your manager!”

Me: “I can get my manager for you, but they can’t get you what you’ve asked for.”

Customer: “What’s your name? I’m going to complain to your corporate about you!”

Me: “John.”

Customer: “You think I’m dumb enough to believe that, using the most common name in the world! You think you can weasel out of this, honey? I’m going to call up and describe what you look like and what time this happened, so they’ll know it’s you.”

She then stormed off. I was a few weeks away from graduating and would be quitting my job, so what the h***?

Me: “You’re the moron who can’t get a single thing right when ordering ice cream after reading a menu for five minutes.”

She walked off, ignoring me, but she kept looking over her shoulder to see if I was following her.

I thought I was going to get fired, and when I went back to work, I did call my boss (who was at home) and said I’d had a really bad customer who said she was going to call in and try to get me fired.

Boss: “Yeah, those people never call. Don’t worry about it.”

She never did call.

I am working at a small ice cream stand in a theme park. It’s a very hot day, so I am getting a lot of customers.

Customers: “I’d like three cups of [flavors], and we’d like those to go.”

Me: “All the ice cream is to-go. It comes in either cups or cones.”

Customer: “No, I mean we want to eat it later.”

Me: *Confused* “So, you want to order it now and come back later?”

Customer: “No, you stupid girl! We want to take our ice creams now, but to go! To… go! We want to eat them later.”

Me: “You could do that if you wanted, but the ice creams will melt very quickly; it’s a hot day today!”

Customer: “Duh! Obviously! This is why want them to go, but we don’t want them to melt.”

Me: “We don’t offer any cold bags as this is just an ice cream stand.”

Customer: “I want to take the ice cream now, but I don’t want to eat it until later, and I don’t want it to melt.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I think you’ve seriously misunderstood what we mean by ‘The Magic Kingdom‘…”

Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 18
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 17
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 16
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 15
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 14

I work at an ice cream shop that has two windows. Customers pay at the first one and go to the second one to receive their order.

Me: “Hi, what would you like today?”

Customer: “I want a small cotton candy ice.”

Me: “That will be $4.55.”

After she finishes paying, I tell her it will be ready at the next window and close the first window. She stands at the window for about a minute, not moving.

Coworker #1: “What is she doing?”

Coworker #2: “Tell her to go to the next window again.”

Me: *Opening the window* “Hi, ma’am. Your order will be at the next window.”

Customer: “I don’t have to move.”

Me: *Closes the window*

Coworker #1: “But we told her to move.”

Coworker #2: “What’s with her?”

The customer bangs loudly on the front window. I open it.

Customer: “I ain’t got time to play with y’all. Give me a refund.”

Me: “…What?”

Customer: *Very aggressively* “Give. Me. My. Money.”

I refunded her the money and she left. I have no idea what that was about.

I am helping a customer select from our many ice cream flavors.

Customer: “Do you have chocolate but in sorbet?”

Me: “We normally do, but I’m afraid we’ve run out. We just have it in the regular ice cream.” 

Customer: “Oh, no, thanks — too much fat.“

As soon as she says this, the customer behind her speaks up loudly.

Next Customer: “Why are you fat-phobic?“

Customer: “I’m… not? I’m just trying to reduce my fat intake.“

Next Customer: “Stop saying ‘fat’! It’s an offensive word!“

Customer: “It’s literally one of the words for how food nutrition works!”

Next Customer: “Then you’re part of a problematic system, and you should be ashamed! No one deserves to be called fat by fatphobes!”

Customer: “I agree, but literally no one is calling anyone fat here! I am simply trying to reduce the amount of fat I eat.”

Next Customer: “Because you’re fat-phobic!”

Customer: “Because I want to be healthy!”

Next Customer: “So, you’re saying fat people are unhealthy?”

The customer looks at me imploringly.

Me: “Nuh-uh. Not going there. Feels like a trap.”

I turn to the next customer.

Me: “Ma’am, please do not bother other customers. No one is insulting anyone else, and we wouldn’t allow it in the store if they were. Please let other customers complete their orders without interruption.”

Next Customer: *Leaving* “Fine! You’re just part of a problematic system that perpetuates fat as ugly!”

Me: “We… literally sell nothing but ice cream.”

I work at a family-run ice cream shop. It’s a really slow shift and I’ve just gotten into work. The only people working with me are the owner and one of my other coworkers, who is doing dishes in the back. A customer and her friend walk in; they’re the only ones in the store. The customer walks up and points at the ice cream case.

Customer: “Oh, my gosh! Banana pudding! That looks so good! Is it good?! Tell me the truth! Is it good?”

Owner: “Well, I like it!”

Customer: “Oh, my gosh, you’re lying! What do you really think? Is it good? Tell me the truth!”

Owner: “…well, I came up with it, so I like it.”

After this, the woman seems satisfied with that answer, and the owner proceeds to tell her how they came up with the flavor while the customer tries some samples of it. During this, I walk down to the cash register. After the customer is done talking to the owner, she walks down to check out with her item.

Me: “Okay, one scoop banana pudding in a waffle bowl?”

Customer: “Have you had it? It’s so good! Oh, my gosh, you should try! It’s so good!”

Me: “Oh, I’m so glad.”

Customer: “Yeah, it tastes just like my grandmother’s.”

Me: “Oh, that’s so great!”

Customer: “Yeah, but my grandma was a c**t.”

Me: *Shocked* “Oh, well, I guess this is better, then.”

She then proceeded to leave like it was the most normal thing in the world to say, and I spent the remainder of my shift internally laughing.