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    What A Concept: Ice Cream That Melts

    , | Sweden |

    (Hot summer day temperature in the nineties. Tons of people in line because the shop is in an amusement park and everybody wants soft ice cream, which makes the soft ice even softer as it doesn’t have time to chill properly.)

    Male customer, who bought soft ice cream for his family 30 min or so earlier, comes up to the window very upset: “The soft ice cream is melting! My kids are a total mess!”

    Me: “Well, it is hot outside, what are you gonna do?”

    Customer: “You should put up a sign to let people know that it will melt!”

    Me: “I don’t assume my customers are idiots.”

    (Customer bangs the ice cream cone on the counter and storms off.)

    The next customer in line looks at me and laughs: “I’ll guess I’ll just have the regular ice cream then.”

    Living On The Edge

    | New York, NY, USA | Top

    (At an ice cream shop)

    Me: “Would you like any mix-ins with that?”

    Older woman: “Yes, I would like almonds. But not too many, because I’m allergic, and if I have too many I will die.”

    Me: “…”

    There’s A Nut, But It’s Not In The Pistachio

    | Florida, USA |

    Customer: “What kind of nut is in the pistachio?”

    Me: “…you can’t be serious.”

    Customer: “No, really, what kind of nut is in the pistachio?”

    Me: “Pistachio.”

    The Return Of Captain Obvious

    , | Florida, USA | Top

    Customer in an ice cream shop: “What’s in the Chocolate Caramel Cashew?”

    Me: “There’s really no way for me to answer that without sounding like a smarta**.”

    Customer: “Why? What’s in it?”

    Me: “It’s chocolate ice cream … with caramel … and cashews.”

    Related:
    Captain Obvious To The Rescue
    Belaboring The Obvious

    Why Asking Why Is A Bad Idea

    , | Florida, USA | Top

    Customer: “Oh, and could I also get a glass of milk?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell milk.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, let’s see, I could make up a reason involving the phrase ‘health codes,’ I could act dumb and just get the manager, or I could just be a total jerk about it, but at the end of the day, you’re still not gonna get a glass of milk, so how about we just skip that whole thing?”

    Customer: “…okay.”

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