Mmm, Moisturizer

| Montana, USA | Uncategorized

(At the shop, all the flavors of gelato are plainly labeled. This particular question happened almost daily…)

Customer: “What does the Rose taste like?”

Me: “Roses.”

Customer: “No way! Let me try!”

(I hand the customer a sampler of rose-flavored gelato.)

Customer: “It tastes like lotion!”

Me: “How often do you eat lotion?!”

Saved By The Belle

, | California | Uncategorized

(I used to work at a popular ice cream store, where they mix your ice cream. We got really busy during the weekends, with lines out the door. This happened as I was going down the line asking customers for their order.)

Me: “Hello, what would you like today?”

Customer: “Are you high?”

Me: “Uh…what?”

Customer: “Your eyes are REALLY red. That’s okay, I’m cool with it…I am sure it makes this job more fun.” *grins*

Me: “Um, I’m not high. I have contacts and they make my eyes really red.”

Customer: “Oh, gotcha.” *winks*

(At this point, I am hoping I dont lose my job for something this stupid.)

Me: “So what can I get you?”

Customer: “Nothing, I am just looking.”

Lady next to customer: “I know you are not high dear, don’t panic.” *gives me a tip*

Fatheaded

, | Newton, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “What’s the difference between low-fat and non-fat yogurt?”

Me: “Well, the low-fat has only a small amount of fat whereas the non-fat has none at all.”

Customer: “What’s fat?”

Me: “…”

The Adventures Of Captain Obvious

, , , , | Everywhere | Uncategorized

Me: “Would you like the 4-piece meal or the 6-piece meal?”
Customer: “What’s the difference?”

——–

Me: “Would you like the quarter pound classic burger or the half pound classic burger?”
Customer: “Which one is bigger?”

——–

Customer: “How big is the 6 inch?”

——–

Customer: “How many come in a four-pack?”

——–

Customer: “Is your Sunday special on Sundays only?”

——–

Customer: “Does your turkey chic pea chili soup have beef in it?”

——–

Customer: “What flavor is your vanilla ice cream?”

——–

Customer: “What’s the difference between the lemon and the vanilla?”

——–

Customer: “Hi, do you sell books here?”
Me: “This is a bookstore, ma’am.”

——–

Me: “Thank you for calling Pittsford Plaza Cinema, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, hello. Are you located in the Pittsford Plaza?”

——–

Me: “Thank you for calling Saltgrass Steakhouse in Meyerland Plaza where our gift cards make great holiday stocking stuffers. How may I assist you?”
Customer: “Hi, is this Saltgrass?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “In Meyerland right?”
Me: “Yes…”
Customer: “Do you have giftcards?”‘
*click*

How Gluttons Complain

, | Oklahoma, USA | Uncategorized

(I was a customer observing this in line, not the employee.)

Woman Customer: “I’d like a hot fudge sundae.”

(The worker makes a hot fudge sundae and presents it to customer.)

Customer: *eats spoonful of sundae* “The ice cream is melting.” *eats another spoonful*

Worker: “I’m sorry. It’s probably because there’s HOT fudge on top of it.”

Customer: *spoonful* “The ice cream is too soft. *spoonful* I can’t eat this.” *spoonful*

Worker: “I could try to remake it for you, or get you something else.”

Customer, still chowing down: “This is just awful.”

(The customer takes another spoonful–by this time about half the sundae is gone.)

Customer: “How do you expect people to eat this *spoonful* when the ice cream is so soft? *spoonful* The ice cream should be hard!” *spoonful*

Worker: “Would you like something else?”

Customer: *spoonful spoonful spoonful* Don’t bother. Just throw it away. *spoonful*

(The customer hands what little is left to the worker and stomps away indignantly, still complaining.)

My wife, not very quietly: “What a b***h!

Worker: *smiles at my wife*

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