• Gloating About Gluten
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    Basic Subtraction, How I Miss Thee

    | Crown Point, IN, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi welcome to [ice cream shop], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I would like to order that new Thin Mint Blizzard.”

    Me: “Alright, what size?”

    Customer: “Small.”

    Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

    Customer: “I don’t want it green.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “It’s green in this picture! I want it white! Whatever you put in there to make it green, I don’t want it.”

    Me: “That would be our mint topping.”

    Customer: “Mint? Ewww! No.”

    Me: “So that’s one Thin MINT Cookie Blizzard with no MINT topping?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream…

    , | Pinehurst, NC, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Oh, look at all this yummy gelato!”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, the front row is gelato and the back row is ice cream.”

    Customer: “Okay, I want butter pecan.”

    (Butter pecan is in the back row, so it’s an ice cream. I scoop it for her.)

    Customer: “Well, this is just delicious. Do you have any regular ice cream and not gelato?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am. Like I said before, the back row is ice cream.”

    Customer: *stops eating suddenly* “What? But I wanted gelato!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I told you which ones were the gelatos. I can get you something else.”

    Customer: “But, but, but I wanted gelato!”

    Customer’s husband: “Quit your b****in’, I’ll eat it at home.”

    Catastrophe Averted

    Weight Watchers Rejects

    | Midland, MI, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer orders a sundae in a small banana boat. It’s two mounds of ice cream with hot fudge, pecans, whip cream, and a cherry.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like the hot fudge pecan royale. Can you make it with twist ice cream?”

    Me: “Yes. ”

    Customer: “That comes with whip cream, right?”

    Me: “Yes it does.”

    Customer: “Good. I don’t want a cherry though, they’re fattening.”

    Me: “…”

    Phrase Of The Day: Obesity Epidemic

    Mmm, Moisturizer

    | Montana, USA | Uncategorized

    (At the shop, all the flavors of gelato are plainly labeled. This particular question happened almost daily…)

    Customer: “What does the Rose taste like?”

    Me: “Roses.”

    Customer: “No way! Let me try!”

    (I hand the customer a sampler of rose-flavored gelato.)

    Customer: “It tastes like lotion!”

    Me: “How often do you eat lotion?!”

    Saved By The Belle

    , | California | Uncategorized

    (I used to work at a popular ice cream store, where they mix your ice cream. We got really busy during the weekends, with lines out the door. This happened as I was going down the line asking customers for their order.)

    Me: “Hello, what would you like today?”

    Customer: “Are you high?”

    Me: “Uh…what?”

    Customer: “Your eyes are REALLY red. That’s okay, I’m cool with it…I am sure it makes this job more fun.” *grins*

    Me: “Um, I’m not high. I have contacts and they make my eyes really red.”

    Customer: “Oh, gotcha.” *winks*

    (At this point, I am hoping I dont lose my job for something this stupid.)

    Me: “So what can I get you?”

    Customer: “Nothing, I am just looking.”

    Lady next to customer: “I know you are not high dear, don’t panic.” *gives me a tip*

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