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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    …And Stupidity Resolves Itself

    | Maine, USA |

    Large Woman 1: “This is not my ice cream, I ordered the butter pecan! It’s simple–just scoop ice cream!”

    Large Woman 2: “This is not my ice cream either, I ordered the maple walnut! How d*** complicated is it to give people the right ice cream?”

    (Glancing at both of their ice creams, I realize that the problem was their fault, because they just took each other’s ice cream.)

    Me: “Yeah, complicated…”

    (I walked out back and looked at them on the security camera, until they realized they were the idiots, and left.)

    You Can Never Dumb It Down Enough

    | Maine, USA |

    (We wanted to avoid common questions, so we made a massive wooden ice cream cone and put it up on the counter to display the number of scoops possible, and the price at each level. This thing was like 4 feet high, each scoops with a diameter of at least 1 foot.)

    Woman: “Hi, how much is one scoop?”

    Coworker: “Oh, right here…” *points to sign*

    Woman: “JESUS! Those are huge! How could anyone eat that much?”

    Coworker: “…”

    (I ran into the back, almost in tears from laughing.)

    What A Concept: Ice Cream That Melts

    , | Sweden |

    (Hot summer day temperature in the nineties. Tons of people in line because the shop is in an amusement park and everybody wants soft ice cream, which makes the soft ice even softer as it doesn’t have time to chill properly.)

    Male customer, who bought soft ice cream for his family 30 min or so earlier, comes up to the window very upset: “The soft ice cream is melting! My kids are a total mess!”

    Me: “Well, it is hot outside, what are you gonna do?”

    Customer: “You should put up a sign to let people know that it will melt!”

    Me: “I don’t assume my customers are idiots.”

    (Customer bangs the ice cream cone on the counter and storms off.)

    The next customer in line looks at me and laughs: “I’ll guess I’ll just have the regular ice cream then.”

    Living On The Edge

    | New York, NY, USA | Top

    (At an ice cream shop)

    Me: “Would you like any mix-ins with that?”

    Older woman: “Yes, I would like almonds. But not too many, because I’m allergic, and if I have too many I will die.”

    Me: “…”

    There’s A Nut, But It’s Not In The Pistachio

    | Florida, USA |

    Customer: “What kind of nut is in the pistachio?”

    Me: “…you can’t be serious.”

    Customer: “No, really, what kind of nut is in the pistachio?”

    Me: “Pistachio.”


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