November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Clandestine Calorie Cutters

| Clifton Park, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Customer 1: “Do you have any sugar-free ice cream?”

Customer 2: “Yeah, that a diabetic can eat?”

(The two spend the next five minutes sampling almost every frozen yogurt we have and inquiring into the sugar content of everything. I went along with it, not wanting to put someone in a diabetic coma or anything.)

Customer 2: “OK, we’ll take two of the blueberry pomegranate yogurt on sugar cones.”

Me: “You’re aware that sugar cones contain sugar, right?”

Customer 2: “Oh, we’re not really diabetic, we just didn’t want you to sneak us something fattening.”

Fudge In Flight

| Manchester, UK | Top

Customer: “This isnt a hot fudge sundae.”

Coworker: “No, it isn’t. I’m afraid we don’t make it with hot fudge here.”

Customer: “Then I’m not paying for it!”

Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to. The menu states that it’s not made with hot fudge.”

Customer: “FINE!” *throws the ice cream at my coworker*

Coworker: *covered with ice cream* “I’m suddenly glad we don’t have hot fudge.”

Mixing In Danger Costs Extra

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’d like vanilla ice cream with peanut butter cups mixed in, please.”

Me: “OK, is that all for you?”

Customer: “Yes, and just so you know, I’m allergic to peanuts. Can you make sure it’s nut-free?”

Me: “Uh…you just ordered PEANUT butter cups for your ice cream…

Customer: “I thought you guys could do allergy safe ice cream. The sign says you can make sure my food is allergy safe!”

Me: “Well, yes…but you need to order food without peanuts in it first…”

I Cry, You Cry, We All Cry For Ice Cream

| Greensboro, NC, USA | Uncategorized

Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [ice cream store]. Can I take your order?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like coffee ice cream with Heath bar mixed in.”

(My coworker mixes the ice cream and then hands it to the customer, a 40-year old woman. She beings to CRY in front of everyone.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, is something wrong?”

Customer: *sobbing* “My Heath bar isn’t crunched up enough!”

Coworker: “I’m so sorry about that, ma’am. I can make you another one.”

(The coworker makes another one and pounds the Heath bar into extra fine pieces. He then hands it to the customer.)

Coworker: “Is this mixed up enough, ma’am?”

Customer: *wailing* “I can’t tell now because it’s mixed into the ice cream!”

(The customer pays, storms off, and leaves the store sobbing with ice cream in hand.)

This Is Why We Don’t Color Code People

| California, USA | Top

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want no g**d*** Chinese serving me.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Get me an American.”

Me: “Sir, I am American.”

Customer: “What?! You think I’m blind? You think I’m f***ing blind? Go back to China!”

Me: “Right, one second…”

(My coworkers hear everything from the back, so one of my white coworkers comes out.)

Customer: “Ugh, finally… an American!”

Coworker: *starts speaking Spanish*

Customer: “G**D*** IT! F*** Y’ALL, A**HOLES!” *storms out*