November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

| Tasmania, Australia | Uncategorized

(Note: I am standing under a sign that says ‘Gluten-Free Mousse’)

Customer: “Is the gluten-free mousse gluten free?”

Me: “You mean the ‘gluten-free mousse’?”

Customer: “Yeah. Is it gluten free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you sure? How do you know?”

Me: “Because the sign says it’s gluten-free.”

Customer: “Oh, okay then. I’ll just have a bottle of water.”

Me: “No mousse?”

Customer: “No, you can never be too sure about what has gluten in it!”

Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 3

| Florida, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I want the chocolate ice cream.”

Me: “Okay, sir. What size would you like?”

Customer: “I want the size that fits in the waffle cone.”

Me: “All of our sizes will fit in the waffles.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

Me: “What size would you like?”

Customer: “The one that comes in a waffle cone.”

Me: “We can put any of the sizes in the waffles.”

Customer: (Pause.) “Will the small fit in the waffle cone?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “What about the medium?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And the large?”

Me: “Yup.”

Customer: (Longer pause.) “So, if I get the medium, can you put it in a waffle cone?”

Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

The Forbidden Fruit

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Top

(I’ve just finished putting a cherry on top of an older woman’s ice cream. It’s slowly starting to roll down the side.)

Me: “Oh, watch it! You’re about to lose your cherry!”

Customer: “Oh dearie, I lost that a long time ago.”

Living A Vanilla Kind Of Life

| North Carolina, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I’ll have a small cone.”

Me: “A small cone with what kind of ice cream?”

Customer: “Small.”

Me: “But, what kind?”

Customer: “A small scoop!”

Me: “But what flavor!”

Customer: “Oh! I didn’t know I had that option.”

The Karma Of Capitalism

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Can I help you sir?”

Customer: “Can you…do…this coupon?” *holds out coupon*

Me: “Yes, our two-for-one special. What flavors would you like?”

(The customer then dictates two particularly long and complicated orders.)

Customer: “I don’t like the energy you gave off while making those ice creams. Make them again.”

Me: “Okay…I’ll try to change my energy, sir.”

(Later, after I re-did the order.)

Me: “That would be $3.66, please.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon.”

Me: “A two-for-one means you have to pay for one of the two ice creams.”

Customer: “Pay…? But…free?”

Me: “You have to pay, yes.”

Customer: “But I just wanted free ice-cream…”

Me: “Do you even have any money?”

Customer: “What the h*** do I need money for? I have a coupon!”