November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

A Rested Development

| Rapid City, SD, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(A guest due to check out comes to the front desk to extend her stay. It is a Sunday. I am not a Christian.)

Guest: “Yes, I’d like to extend my stay one more night.”

Me: “Okay, I just need your key cards, and I can re-make them for tonight.”

Guest: “You know, we wanted to leave today, but it’s Sunday. It’s the Lord’s Day, the day of rest, so we’re doing as he commands.”

Me: *blinking at this woman while rapidly coming up with a politically correct and professional answer* “There is no such thing as a day of rest in hospitality.”

(The guest didn’t say another word while I took care of her reservation for another ‘day of rest.’)

Don’t Call My Name, Antonio

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Good morning, you’ve reached [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to speak to Antonio.”

(I am new, but I don’t think there is an Antonio working at the Hotel.)

Me: “Are you sure you have the right number? Or do you know what department he works in?”

Caller: “Of course I have the right number! This is [Hotel]! Antonio is one person higher than the General Manager and one person lower than the owner! Just put me through to Antonio!”

(At this point I ask my supervisor whether we have an Antonio.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, Antonio is not usually based at our hotel. He is based at [Company].”

Caller: “I don’t care if he’s based on the f****** moon! Put me through to the moon!”

An Attack On Common Sense

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(A man and his wife and a bunch of teens check in. All day, the teens are running freely outside, even when it turns dark. Our part of the city is notorious for crime, and one of the teens nearly gets attacked by a mugger. Fortunately, she is unharmed. The man approaches me.)

Man: “My daughter nearly got attacked outside! What are you going to do about it?”

Me: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Man: *throws hands up* “It’s all your fault! If you’d been watching her better–”

Me: “Sir, I am NOT a babysitter.”

Man: “You sure are! You’re responsible for all the guests here! And she’s a guest! What kind of place is this, that doesn’t care when their charges gets attacked!”

Me: “I’m just a clerk. Now, would you like me to call the police for you?”

Man: “Fine, whatever!”

(I called the police. The policeman came and told him what I wanted to: that he was responsible. Later, the man wrote on a comment card complaining about me for not babysitting his kid!)

Might Not Be A Queen But Sure Acts Like One

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(An elite member comes to the front desk and asks if he can transfer to a suite, because he can’t see the TV from his bed in his king room.)

Me: “I have a suite that becomes available on Wednesday, but it has two queen size beds instead of a king.”

Guest: “Two queens?” *dramatically unzips jacket, and points to his ‘Happy Anniversary’ Disneyland pin* “Does THIS look like someone who should get a room with two queens?”

Me: “…no?”

Sub-par Subway Humor

| Washington, D.C., USA | Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(A man and his nervous looking wife approach.)

Man: “Hello, we’d like to get information on how to ride the subway around?”

Me: “Sure. To ride the subway you have to purchase a ticket from the machine there.”

Wife: “It’s safe around here, isn’t it?”

Me: “Of course.”

Wife: “I don’t believe it!”

Man: “Honey, it is perfectly fine.”

Me: *deciding to kid her* “Actually, you must be careful. Sometimes the subway trains will spit you out if you don’t board them fast!”

(The man starts laughing and his wife looks like she might faint.)

Me: “I’m kidding. They don’t do that!”

Wife: *not listening* “I’m going home!” *runs off*

Me: *to man* “Gee, good thing I didn’t say anything about the ticket price. Now, that’s scary.”

(He stopped laughing.)