Featured:
  • Retract The Tract
    (2,275 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Not Quite Married To The Name Yet

    | NB, Canada | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging

    (At the hotel where I work we keep our customer’s personal information on file so that they don’t have to repeat it every time they stay.)

    Customer: “I’d like to reserve a room for tonight, a double room, and my name is [Customer]. You should have my information on file already.”

    Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. Let me see… I don’t seem to have anything under that name. Is this the name you used last time you stayed with us?”

    Customer: “Of course! It’s my name; I always use it. What other name would I use?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just that we save the information by name and sometimes a client gives their name when the room was last booked under their spouse’s or parent’s name. Let me try a different spelling. Hmmm, still nothing. Did you stay here recently, as in within the last 12 months?”

    Customer: “It’s been less than that. I was here not long ago! How hard can it be to find my information? My name is [Customer].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t have anything here. In any case I’d be happy to reserve this room for you if you can just give me a telephone number and credit card…”

    Customer: “Absolutely not! You have my information and I’m not giving you anything! When I arrive later I expect to have my room ready with my personal information attached. My name is [Customer] and that is all you need. You must obviously be new here.”

    Me: “Actually, I’ve been here for two years, ma’am. Unfortunately I do not have access to your profile. I have nothing under the name you provided me, and I’ve even checked various spellings of the name. Are you certain you were here less than 12 months ago? Our system deletes profiles that haven’t been used for 12 months.”

    Customer: “I WAS JUST THERE! You are incompetent. I expect you to have my room ready when I arrive and be sure that I will be contacting your manager to have you retrained on how to use your system.” *hangs up*

    (Later, the customer comes in to check in and is furious that I still do not have her information on file. After reluctantly giving me at least her credit card number, I get her checked in and provide her with her room keys. As she’s walking away:)

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know if it makes a difference but every other time we’ve stayed here we booked under my husband’s name, [Completely Different Name]. Can you find it if you look for that name? I mean, we were just here on [gives a date over three years ago]. You should have it.”

    Me: *trying not to bang my head on the desk* “I’ll take a look in the system, ma’am. Have a nice evening.”

    Customer: “I will when you learn to navigate your own computer system.”

    Bellowing, Not Belling

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at the front desk of a large resort in a small town. This is late at night so I am in the back room working on some nightly tasks. I have set the bell out on the counter in case a guest comes and I don’t see them.)

    Guest: “HELLOOO!”

    Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

    Guest: “I just want to get checked in! I have been waiting here for five minutes!”

    Me: “Oh, I am very sorry about that! Can I just get your last—”

    Guest: “I demand to speak to a manager about having to wait! That is ridiculous!”

    (I call the night manager up from helping another guest.)

    Manager: “How can I help you?”

    Guest: “This girl kept me waiting out here for five minutes before helping me!”

    Manager: *to me* “Is this true?”

    Guest: “Yes, it’s true! She didn’t even notice me!”

    Manager: “And you tried ringing the bell?”

    Guest: “Well, of course not!”

    Manager: “May I ask why not?”

    Guest: “Well, that would have been rude!”

    Need To Go Quebec And Get Her

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Hotels & Lodging

    (It is 7:15 am when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Front desk?”

    (A female guest in her 40s with a British accent answers:)

    Guest: “I need to make a local call. How much do you charge?”

    Me: “Local calls are free!”

    Guest: “Great! How do I make a local call?”

    Me: “Dial eight, and then the number you need.”

    Guest: “The number starts with 649. Is that what all local numbers start with?”

    Me: “Um, the number should start with either 438 or 514 for most local numbers.”

    Guest: “Well, I need to call my mother at the Best Western… Oh wait, here is says 1-418-649—”

    Me: “Uh, 418 is to call Quebec City and the surrounding area. Are you sure you have the right hotel?”

    Guest: “Yes… Best Western City Centre, on Rue de la Courone.”

    Me: “That is in Quebec City. Quebec City will be a long distance phone call, so there will be a charge of 0.75$/min.”

    Guest: “Wait, WHAT?! I THOUGHT WE WERE IN QUEBEC CITY! WHERE ARE WE? DID THEY SEND HER TO A DIFFERENT STATE OR SOMETHING?”

    Me: “You are in Montreal. Quebec City is still in the same province, but it is about 2.5 hours away…”

    Guest: “MY MOTHER IS 2.5 HOURS AWAY?! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY–”  *click*

    All Smoke, No Mirrors

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

    (A guest I checked in less than two hours ago is walking up to the front desk with all her luggage, ready to leave.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Guest: “I want to check out!”

    Me: “Is everything all right? I see you are checking out early.”

    Guest: “I don’t want to talk about it; I want a receipt stating that I have a zero balance.”

    Me: “All right, one moment. Let me get your receipt out of the back. My printer is down.”

    (I come back a few seconds later with her receipt.)

    Me: “Are you sure everything is all right? You seem upset and I don’t want you leaving upset.”

    Guest: “Yes, actually, you can tell your people I do not appreciate them recording me while I am sleeping!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

    Guest: “There was a little red light flashing above my bed!”

    Me: “Oh! You mean the smoke detector. That isn’t a recording device.”

    Guest: “You don’t think I know the difference between a smoke detector and a recording device?! I know that if there is a blinking red that means the camera is on and recording! So please delete any footage you have of me.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. I promise you we do not have recording devices in our guests rooms. It honestly was a smoke detector.”

    Guest: “IT WAS NOT A SMOKE DETECTOR!”

    The Mother (Nature) Of Stupid Complaints

    | GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

    (I’m a night auditor, and the only staff member on duty. I see that the office phone is being rung from a room that has only just checked in:)

    Me: “Front desk. How may I help you?”

    Irate Guest: “How dare you rent me this room! There are bugs! Oh, my God! Bugs!”

    Me: “I’m so very sorry, ma’am. The exterminator comes regularly to prevent this sort of thing, and we have an excellent housekeeping department, but this being Georgia, and the rooms opening to the outside, sometimes it happens. Would you like to move to a different room, or would you prefer a refund?”

    Irate Guest: “Well, a different room won’t do me any good. The bugs are all over the place outside. In the shrubs and around the lights and just everywhere!”

    Me: “Wait. You called to complain because there are bugs outdoors?”

    Irate Guest: “Yes! I’ve never seen such horrible things in my life!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your registration information shows me that you live in Florida. I’ve been to Florida. Y’all have bugs.”

    Irate Guest: “I just want a refund.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you a refund based on the fact that you think we should remove bugs from the great outdoors. You can talk to the manager in the morning.”

     

    (The guest slammed the phone down. Minutes later, I saw her car speed out of the parking lot. I briefed the owner/manager the following morning. We had a good laugh, and an even better one after guest came back to demand her refund.)

    Page 6/57First...45678...Last