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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Totally Bugging Out

    | VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

    (It is a hot and buggy day, and a guest enters with her friend. They are talking loudly, and make a beeline for the elevators. With their backs turned to me, I see a large spider hanging on the back of the guest. The guest is oblivious because she keeps talking to her friend, who doesn’t notice.)

    Me: “Excuse me! Excuse me, ma’am!”

    (The guest ignores me and disappears in the elevator.)

    (I don’t think anything of it until a few minutes later; I get a call from her room.)

    Me: “Hello, guest services. How may I help you?”

    Guest: “Yes, you can help me by giving me a refund RIGHT NOW!”

    Me: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

    Guest: “I’ll tell you what’s the problem! I didn’t pay $200 for a room that has BUGS! I just came back and laid down and then found a BUG on my pillow!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry about that, ma’am.”

    Guest: “You better be! This is outrageous! You all are THEIVES!”

    Me: “Well, I’ll just send the manager up to help you.”

    Guest: “Fine! I’m not lying!”

    (I send the manager up and he comes back later to say that there was a spider on the guest’s pillow. He described it and sure enough, it was the exact same spider the guest had brought in with her from outside. It had crawled into her hair, and got smashed on her pillow! The manager explained this to her, but the guest didn’t believe it, and called us all liars and con artists.)

    The Bill Of Wrongs

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Themed Giveaway

    Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, this receipt.”

    Me: “Was there something wrong with the charges?”

    Customer: “No, they’re fine, I just don’t… like it.”

    Me: “What don’t you like about it?”

    Customer: “Well, for instance, the total should be on the top, not the bottom. And my name should be on the bottom, not the top. See? And the font should be prettier.”

    Me: “So what you’re saying is you don’t like the format of our receipt?”

    Customer: “Exactly!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but to change the format of our receipt would mean that we have change our computer’s automatic program.”

    Customer: “Well DO it then!”

    Me: “That would take hours.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t HAVE hours! I have a plane to catch!”

    Me: “I’ll get the manager.”

    (I get the manager and he explains exactly what I said to the woman, who gets more and more irritated by the second.)

    Customer: “Fine! I thought you gave good service here; I guess I was wrong! Hmph!”

    (The customer takes her bill and storms off in a huff. Later, we get a survey back taken from her, giving us poor reviews on our service. I have gotten a lot of crazy requests before, but never that!)

    He Is Inn-Experienced

    | VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Themed Giveaway

    (We have recently just hired a new person, who I am working with today. I’m making friendly conversation.)

    Me: “So, how do you like working in a hotel so far?”

    New Hire: “It’s great! I’ve been working for about two days already and everything seems to be going well. Learning lots of stuff.”

    Me: “That’s great! We really needed someone to work the day shifts. So, what do you like about the job so far?”

    New Hire: “Well—”

    (Just then, a customer comes up to the front desk and we both look at him.)

    Me: “Hi! Can I—”

    Customer: *to new hire* “F*** YOU!”

    (The customer flips both middle fingers at both of us and cackles at our dumbfounded expressions, and then leaves.)

    New Hire: “Well, um… as I was saying, uh…”

    Me: “Yeah, you’re going to meet lots of those crazy people here. They’ll make you want to run out of here, screaming!”

    (Fortunately, the hew hire didn’t run away screaming, and he’s been a great addition for two years now!)

    Floored By The Lack Of Logic

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at a hotel as an event coordinator. The building was not originally a hotel, and a top level had been added on that has an open-air pool and a gym. Due to this, the lifts do not go to it, and everyone has to use stairs placed next to the lift instead. A guest approaches me as I am walking to the foyer.)

    Guest: “I would like to make a complaint.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Guest: “I was on the top floor using the gym, and when I was done I found that there was no way to leave the floor. I looked everywhere, and could only find the emergency exit, and all floors were locked from the other side! So I had to go out the back alley and walk back around to the front entrance, and I would just like to voice how RIDICULOUS it is to have no way out of that level.”

    Me: “Okay, I will pass that on to my manager, but I have to ask: how did you get on the floor in the first place if there is no way in or out?”

    Guest: “Oh, um… well…”

    A Roll Rehearsal Before Bowel Reversal

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m working the front desk and checking in a guest.)

    Me: “…and here are your room keys. Your room is located on the third floor and will be on the right hand side of the elevator. If there’s absolutely anything you need just press zero on your phone and I’ll be sure to assist you. Enjoy your stay.”

    Guest: “Can I ask you for something now?”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Anything you need would be my pleasure to serve.”

    Guest: “Can I get five rolls of toilet paper?”

    Me: “The rooms come standard with two rolls. Would you like an additional three rolls to total the room out to five rolls, or would you like five additional rolls to total seven rolls?”

    Guest: “I would like the five additional rolls, please.”

    Me: “I can do that for you, but unfortunately there is a $1 fee per excess roll. Between you and me, if you wait until the morning, the housekeepers will change out your toilet paper anyway and you won’t have to pay for it.”

    Guest: “I need the five rolls tonight. I only bought this room because if I’m going to destroy a bathroom after my mother-in-law’s cooking, it ain’t gonna be my job to clean it up…”


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