Questionable Intelligence

| Alabama, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [hotel]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, can you tell me what room is beside 106?”

Me: “Um…room 107?”

Customer: “That’s the one! Thanks so much!” *hangs up*

The Fourth Is Not Strong With This One

| Traverse City, MI, USA | Top, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Thank you for calling the [hotel]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: *in a British accent* “I need a room for tonight.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are booked.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the 4th of July. We’re always booked on the 4th.”

Customer: “I know the date! Why are you booked?”

Me: “Um, it’s July 4th.”

Customer: “Listen, just give me a room!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we are sold out. The entire town is sold out.”

Customer: “The entire town? Why?”

Me: “Sir, it’s the 4th of July. Independence day.”

Customer: “Independence from what?”

Me: “Um, England.”

Customer: “Oh bloody h***!” *click*

Inn-Experienced

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, [hotel name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to cancel my reservation for tonight.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we require 24 hour notice for all cancellations.”

Customer: “Well it’s an emergency! My daughter got sick and we
had to stay home!”

(I glance down at the caller ID and see that this phone call is coming from a competing hotel across town.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I’ll cancel it for you due to this emergency situation.”

(Ten minutes pass, and I call the other hotel and ask to be connected to the guy’s room.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello sir, this is [name] from [hotel]. I just wanted to call you back with your cancellation number and to wish your daughter a speedy recovery.”

Customer: *stammering* “How did you get this number? Are
you following me?!”

I Can Hear Clearly Now The Brain Is Gone

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(A man claiming to be our hotel guest’s boss calls our front desk several times, claiming that the guest won’t return his calls. I ring the hotel guest to let her know the situation.)

Me: “Hello! I received a few phone calls from a Mr. *** asking you to call him back immediately.”

Hotel guest: “Oh, Mr. ***? I don’t know a Mr. ****.”

Me: “Oh, okay. I’m sorry to bother you. I will ask him to stop calling.”

Hotel guest: “Well, what was his name again?”

Me: “Mr. ***.”

Hotel guest: “Was he tall?”

Me: “Ma’am, he was on the phone.”

Hotel guest: “You didn’t notice if he was tall or not? That doesn’t help me at all.”

Me: “Very sorry, ma’am. I will try to get a better look at him next time he calls.”

Hotel guest: “Thank you so much dear!” *hangs up*

Related:
I Can See Clearly Now The Brain Is Gone

Third Tail’s A Charm

| Sanibel, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’m planning to stay here for a few days and just wanted to find out whether I can bring pets.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our hotel has a strict no pet policy.”

Customer: “So I can’t bring my dog?”

Me: “No, I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “But it’s tiny, doesn’t shed, and I guarantee I’ll always let it out in time.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What about my cat?”

Me: “No pets, sir.”

Customer: “Alright, fine.” *stands around for several moments* “So my wife can bring her hamster, right?”

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