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    Customer Of The Week: Pure Evil

    | Tennessee, USA | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week:  Good Help
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story

    Time To Expand

    | Conway, AR, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling **** Hotel Reservations, this is ****, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you have any rooms?”

    Me: “For what night?”

    Customer: “Tonight.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir; we’re all sold out.”

    Customer: “What do you mean, ‘sold out’?”

    Me: “That means we’ve sold all of our rooms for tonight.”

    Customer: “Don’t you have people who haven’t shown up yet?”

    Me: “Um…yes, but they’ve held their rooms with a credit card.”

    Customer: “Well, what does that mean?”

    Me: “If they don’t show up, we’re authorized to charge them, and it means that we must hold their rooms.”

    Customer: “So you’re telling me that you don’t have ANY rooms?”

    Me: “No sir, we don’t.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous. You’re refusing to sell me empty rooms? And what hotel doesn’t have enough rooms?”

    Me: “Sir, we can only build so many rooms.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense. May I speak to your manager?”

    Me: “I’m the manager on duty.”

    Customer: “Well, you’ve been no help at all. I’m going to be calling corporate about this.”

    Me: “About the fact that we’re sold out for the night?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Um…Ok.”

    Customer: “You’ve been very unhelpful!” *click*

    You Look Nothing Like Your Ad

    | Tennessee, USA | Top

    (A family group was checking in – one lady in the group started telling me about her husband’s recent death from cancer.)

    Customer: “…and he was all eaten up with colon cancer, and he just died.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that is really not any of my business. It seems like a very private matter….”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “I’m not comfortable hearing–”

    Customer: “Are you a Christian?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I knew it! You are evil, and will burn in hell. I’ll speak to your manager in the morning!”

    Me: “Ok. That’s fine.”

    Customer: “I hope you liked your former job.”

    Me: “…”

    (The group went to their rooms. A few minutes later, one of the adult daughters came to the desk.)

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “I just came down because I wanted to see what pure evil looks like.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer Of The Week: Wince Of Thieves

    | Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: Wince Of Thieves
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story

    Thievers Can’t Be Choosers

    | Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I want to complain about these towels of yours. They’re really rough and scratchy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir… wait a second, are you calling from outside the hotel?”

    (I double-check the incoming call info, and see that it’s coming in on our toll-free line.)

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m at home.”

    Me: “And you’re calling to complain about towels you took from the hotel?”

    Caller: “Yeah, they suck. They’re not very soft.”

    Me: “Well, I certainly apologize for that, sir. If you’ll give me your name and address, I’ll have Housekeeping send you some new ones.”

    (Surprisingly, he actually gave me his info; not surprisingly, he called a couple of weeks later to complain about the bill we sent him for the towels.)

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