Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,204 thumbs up)
  • I Can Hear Clearly Now The Brain Is Gone

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (A man claiming to be our hotel guest’s boss calls our front desk several times, claiming that the guest won’t return his calls. I ring the hotel guest to let her know the situation.)

    Me: “Hello! I received a few phone calls from a Mr. *** asking you to call him back immediately.”

    Hotel guest: “Oh, Mr. ***? I don’t know a Mr. ****.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. I’m sorry to bother you. I will ask him to stop calling.”

    Hotel guest: “Well, what was his name again?”

    Me: “Mr. ***.”

    Hotel guest: “Was he tall?”

    Me: “Ma’am, he was on the phone.”

    Hotel guest: “You didn’t notice if he was tall or not? That doesn’t help me at all.”

    Me: “Very sorry, ma’am. I will try to get a better look at him next time he calls.”

    Hotel guest: “Thank you so much dear!” *hangs up*

    Related:
    I Can See Clearly Now The Brain Is Gone

    Third Tail’s A Charm

    | Sanibel, FL, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’m planning to stay here for a few days and just wanted to find out whether I can bring pets.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our hotel has a strict no pet policy.”

    Customer: “So I can’t bring my dog?”

    Me: “No, I’m afraid not.”

    Customer: “But it’s tiny, doesn’t shed, and I guarantee I’ll always let it out in time.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “What about my cat?”

    Me: “No pets, sir.”

    Customer: “Alright, fine.” *stands around for several moments* “So my wife can bring her hamster, right?”

    A Mother Who Will Never Be Out-Dated

    | Gunnison, CO, USA |

    (A middle-aged woman comes to the front desk of our hotel. Note that I am also a woman and my coworker is a man.)

    Customer: “Where are all the women at?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “The women! The good looking women!”

    Me: “I’m not sure I understand.”

    Customer: “My son just started college and he wants a woman. Where should I go to get him a woman?”

    Me: “I’m not interested in women, so I wouldn’t know.”

    Customer, to coworker: “You! Hey, you. Where should I go to get ladies?”

    Coworker: “Has he tried the college campus?”

    Customer: “They’re all ugly. I want to get my son a hot chick!”

    Coworker: “Okay, this is a small town. He should look around. A bar?”

    Customer: “He’s not 21.”

    Me: “The grocery store? I don’t know.”

    Customer: “But where would you go?”

    Me: “Ask at the visitors’ center. Have a good day!”

    Do As I Say, Not While I Stay

    | McMinnville, OR, USA |

    (A hotel guest who has been at our hotel for eight days comes up to the front desk while I am on duty.)

    Hotel guest: “Excuse me, I’d like to make an complaint.”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am, let me grab a comment card for you and we can discuss the problem to see if we can’t remedy it.”

    Hotel guest: “I don’t see how you could fix it, but your maid staff is stupid!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, what was it that was done to cause the problem?”

    Hotel guest: “Well, they never cleaned our room! In the whole week, we’ve been here they never once cleaned the room! I’ve had to ask for new towels and new soap every day, and the room is starting to smell!”

    (Upon checking her reservation information, I notice a “no service” comment has been put up on all but the first night.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, it does appear that the maid service does recognize that they were never able to come in and clean your room. I know this sounds silly, but there was ever a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign put on your door?”

    Hotel guest: “No! I did not put any signs on my door! They came to us so G** D*** early in the morning! We stay out late and have a good time and they are knocking at 10 am to come clean!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am. That is when their rounds typically start, any time after 9 am. Did they never come back after you asked them to come later?”

    Hotel guest: “Oh, yes! They came back at 3 pm, right when I was taking my afternoon nap! Woke me up! They came back around 3 or 4 pm and wanted to clean then! But I was sleeping! Honestly!”

    Me: “So, let me make sure I understand you. The housekeeping came two times a day, and both times you sent them away because it was either too early or you were taking a nap…and you are wanting to complain that your room was never cleaned?”

    Hotel guest: “Yes! It’s like they didn’t even care about us!”

    Me: “Well, I can at least remedy this for the rest of your stay. What time would you prefer housekeeping come to the room?”

    Hotel guest: “Oh I don’t know! But not those times!”

    (I try for another 30 minutes to come to satisfy the guest, but she gets too upset and storms off. My manager, a great people-pleaser, ends up giving them a free night’s stay for their next trip.)

    The Imperial Left Or The Metric Left

    | London, UK |

    Guest: “How do you get to a cash machine??”

    Me: “You exit the hotel, turn left, and then–”

    Guest: “Turn left?”

    Me: “Yes, left.”

    Guest: “Left?”

    Me: “Yes, left.” *pointing with my hand*

    Guest: *confused* “Left…right…”

    Me: “Left in England is the same as left in America.”

    Guest: “Oh, okay! I get it!”

    Page 40/50First...3839404142...Last