October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Scammed Out Of Trans-cendentals

| USA | Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I’m working at a hotel for the first time by myself late at night. A strange-looking customer walks in. I assume she’s a woman by her dress and heels she wears.)

Strange Customer: *in a strangely deep voice* “Hello, I’d like a room, if you don’t mind… here’s my ID and credit card.”

(She hands them to me. I run it through.)

Me: “Sorry, it’s declined.”

Strange Customer: *strangely unsurprised* “Oh, I’ve been using it all day; probably I’m at my limit! Let me call my bank.”

(She makes a phone call that I can’t hear. I sense something amiss, and quickly photocopy her ID. She turns back to me.)

Strange Customer: “My bank says it’s all right now.”

Me: *running it again* “It still says declined.”

Strange Customer: “Oh, no sweetie, all you have to do is put in this code…”

(She says a code and baffled, I type it in, doubting it will work. To my shock, it does, and the credit card goes through.)

Me: “Okay… well. Here’s your keys and sign the reg card…”

(I give her back the card and ID, and she saunters off. I think nothing of it until the next week, when a police officer comes by.)

Officer: “Yes I need to talk to you about this guy.” *holds up photocopy of ID*

Me: “Oh yeah… I remember… wait a minute, ‘he’?”

Officer: “Yes. Did he have a disguise?”

Me: “Yes, he was dressed as a woman!”

My Boss: “Come on, [My Name] that is clearly a man in the picture!”

Me: “I know, I just thought that he was a really ugly woman…”

Trying To Take Sides

| CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?””

Caller: “I wanted to book a room for tonight.”

Me: “We are sold out for tonight.”

Caller: “So there’s nothing available?”

Me: “Yes, we are sold out.”

Caller: “What about the other side?”

Me: “Other side of what?”

Caller: “Are you sold out on the other side of the hotel?”

Me: “Yes, we are sold out… The other side, too.”

Her Head Is Already In The Clouds

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(I’m a duty manager at a five-star hotel, which is part of an international chain. I’ve just been up to the top floor to let one of our highest tier loyalty program members into her room to find her passport she’d forgotten and we take the lift back down to the lobby together…)

Guest: “So if I’m going to Amsterdam what will they let me take with me?”

Me: “…Flying there?”

Guest: “Yeah! From Gatwick.”

Me: “O… kay… You mean like in your luggage?”

Guest: “Yeah, like, what type of bag?”

Me: “Oh!! Well that usually depends on the airline. Who are you flying with?”

Guest: “Jeanette.”

Me: *blank look*

Guest: “She’s my best friend.”

Me: “No…”

Her Sanity Is Under Construction

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I am working as a front desk supervisor and have checked a very sweet, older lady into a very specific room type; she wanted as high as possible, facing the Space Needle. A few minutes after she went upstairs she returned to the desk.)

Customer: “I LOVE the room!”

Me: “Great! I’m so glad you like it!”

Customer: “But…”

Me: *in my head* “Oh, no. Here it comes.”

Customer: “There’s a crane in my view.”

(Seattle at this point had (and still has) a ton of construction going on. About halfway between the hotel and the Needle there is condo construction, and indeed, a crane, but the lady is 46 floors up so it is not blocking the Needle at all.)

Me: “Yes, Seattle does have a good bit of construction now. I can certainly move you to a different view with no cranes.”

Customer: *still being very sweet and cheerful* “Oh, no, honey. I don’t want to change rooms. I LOVE my room. I want the crane to be moved.”

Me: “Um… ma’am you realize that would cost millions in late deadlines, loss of pay for workers, cost to move it and then put it back…”

Customer: *again, still super nice* “Oh, I know, honey. Money is no object! I just want a pretty view!”

(At this point I started to look for cameras, thinking I was being pranked. I excused myself and went to tell my Director of Rooms the situation. He thought I must be joking at first too, but then he went out to speak with the lady. She was just as nice and happy with him, but was just certain we would get this crane moved for her. My director finally got her a list of phone numbers for the city, the construction crew, and the people that own the building. He told her that since they would probably want to talk money, it would be better it she spoke with them herself. She happily took the list, thanked us, and left. The crane never moved.)

Lost The Discount

| Denver, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(This is a phone conversation:)

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel Name and Location]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve been driving around for twenty minutes looking for you. I think you should give me a discount.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

(I give directions to the hotel from where she is. She’s basically around the corner.)

Customer: *obviously not listening* “Yeah, but I want a discount.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not something I can discount for. You are always free to call if you need help, though.”

Customer: “But I want a discount.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t.”

Customer: “…An upgrade then.”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “…Okay.”

(She arrives at the front desk and I start checking her in. I’ve acknowledged the fact that I spoke to her on the phone before.)

Customer: “I got lost. Give me a discount.”

Me: “…No.”

Customer: “Upgrade?”

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