The Language Just Flows

| France | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

(My aunt and her family are in a hotel in France. We’re German, and she doesn’t really speak any French or English beyond a few words, just enough to get things hilariously wrong. She finds that their bathroom is missing its toilet brush (German word for brush: Bürste.) She decides to go to the reception desk to complain, only realising that she didn’t know all the English words for what she wanted to tell them.)

Aunt: “Toilet burst! Toilet burst! TOILET BURST!”

(The poor guy probably had visions of pure horror…)

A Cab Will Just Go And Go And Chicago

| Dallas, TX, USA | Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Transportation

Guest: “Can you call me a cab to take me to O’Hare?”

Front Desk: “Sure, but you might want to consider flying there since you’re in Dallas.”

Guest: “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

Midwest Going South

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(Most of the time when guests have a clogged toilet they come down or call and ask for a plunger or someone to come up. After all, we really don’t need to know WHY it’s clogged to fix it (and honestly we don’t want you to tell us).)

Guest: “Yeah, could I have a plunger? I just took a good old Midwestern s***!”

Me: “I did not know that was something the Midwest was known for…”

Balking At Your Talking

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(It is morning, and all the guests are eating breakfast. Since no one is asking for service, I relax and chat with my coworker. A man and woman come up, with annoyed expressions.)

Man: “Hey, you!”

Me: “Yes? Can I help you with something?”

Man: “Yes! You can help by not talking to your friend!”

Me: “You mean, my coworker?”

Woman: “Yes! Her! You’re supposed to work here, not chit chatting! I’ll be telling your manager about you slacking off!”

Man: “What kind of service is this, where the workers just chatter on?”

Me: “Well, I was just talking with my coworker here since there was no one in line or at the counter.”

Man: “No, I don’t want you to do that! It’s very rude!”

Me: “So…  you don’t want me to talk to my coworker?”

Woman: “Yes, exactly! You are here to serve us! Nothing else! You hear me?”

(They storm off, very incensed.)

Manager: “What was that all about?”

(They did complain, and their complaints were laughed off.)

Has No Room To Maneuver

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Lady: “I’d like a room.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we have no more.”

Lady: “What? WHY NOT?!”

Me: “Because we have run out of rooms to sell.”

Lady: “Don’t be smart!”

Me: “You want me to act dumb?”

Lady: “No! I want YOU to give ME a room!”

Me: “Look, we don’t have any more. I don’t know–.”

Lady: “Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! I come in a hotel, and they don’t have rooms?! What madness is this?”

Me: “Um—”

Lady: “The whole POINT of hotels is to have rooms. Otherwise, it’s like me going into a mattress store and they have no mattresses! Or a hardware store and they have no wrenches!”

Me: “I’m sure that even hardware stores run out of wrenches every once in a while… As for the mattress stores, they have plenty of stock in their warehouse for delivery. We can’t ‘deliver’ rooms and we have no warehouse.”

Lady: “Stop being an a**!”

(She ranted and raved about the ‘insane’ idea of a hotel having no rooms, and was eventually escorted off by security, still screaming!)

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