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  • Just Give Them A Watered Down Answer

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada |

    (I work at a hotel half an hour away from Niagara Falls.)

    Customer: “What time do the Falls stop?”

    Me: “You mean the stores? I think they’re probably closed-”

    Customer: “No, no, the Falls. What time do they run until?”

    Me: “The lights? I believe 10 or so–”

    Customer: “No, no, I mean the actual waterfall, what time do they turn it off?”

    Me: “Midnight.”

    (It’s about 11:30pm, so they thank me and run out. Two hours later, they return.)

    Customer: “Thanks a lot for the help earlier! I guess it was our lucky day. They didn’t turn them off yet!”

    The Devil Is In The Pre-Sales

    | Pennslyvania, USA |

    (I’m working at the hotel on Christmas Day.)

    Customer, to husband: “See that girl there? She must be one of those devil worshipers! Why else would she be here on the day of Christ’s birth?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Who do you worship? Why are you working on Christmas? You worship the devil!”

    Me: “Actually, I’m working because I don’t have any children. A lot of the other employees do so they’re home with their families.”

    Customer: “Who do you worship?”

    Me: “I’m a Christian.”

    Customer: “DO NOT LIE! GOD WILL STRIKE YOU! GOD KNOWS ALL!”

    Husband: *laughing* “Yes, just like Santa. He sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake.”

    Customer: “Santa has NOTHING to do with Christ. You’ll offend them both!”

    Related:
    The Devil Revils In The Details
    The Devil Is In The Ridiculous Details
    The Devil Is Definitely In The Details

    Questionable Intelligence

    | Alabama, USA |

    Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [hotel]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, can you tell me what room is beside 106?”

    Me: “Um…room 107?”

    Customer: “That’s the one! Thanks so much!” *hangs up*

    The Fourth Is Not Strong With This One

    | Traverse City, MI, USA | Top, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Thank you for calling the [hotel]. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: *in a British accent* “I need a room for tonight.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are booked.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “It’s the 4th of July. We’re always booked on the 4th.”

    Customer: “I know the date! Why are you booked?”

    Me: “Um, it’s July 4th.”

    Customer: “Listen, just give me a room!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we are sold out. The entire town is sold out.”

    Customer: “The entire town? Why?”

    Me: “Sir, it’s the 4th of July. Independence day.”

    Customer: “Independence from what?”

    Me: “Um, England.”

    Customer: “Oh bloody h***!” *click*

    Inn-Experienced

    | Illinois, USA |

    Me: “Hello, [hotel name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to cancel my reservation for tonight.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we require 24 hour notice for all cancellations.”

    Customer: “Well it’s an emergency! My daughter got sick and we
    had to stay home!”

    (I glance down at the caller ID and see that this phone call is coming from a competing hotel across town.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. I’ll cancel it for you due to this emergency situation.”

    (Ten minutes pass, and I call the other hotel and ask to be connected to the guy’s room.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hello sir, this is [name] from [hotel]. I just wanted to call you back with your cancellation number and to wish your daughter a speedy recovery.”

    Customer: *stammering* “How did you get this number? Are
    you following me?!”

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