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    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    Guest: “So, where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from Missouri.”

    Guest: “Really?! My wife has some family up there! It’s in Ohio, right?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Guest: “Oh, wait. That’s a state, isn’t it?”

    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    The Notified And The (Not)ified

    | California, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    Caller: “I have a reservation! I know I have one!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I don’t appear to have one under your name. Is there another name it could be under?”

    Caller: “NO! I have a reservation!”

    Me: “May I ask how you booked your reservation?”

    Caller: “I don’t know, but I have one!”

    Me: “Okay, did you book it online? Call the hotel or choice? did you come to the hotel and book it?”

    Caller: “No, I didn’t do any of those things but I know I have a reservation.”

    Me: “Could anyone else have made the reservation for you? Perhaps a travel agency?”

    Caller: “No, but I have a reservation! I know I do.”

    Me: “Do you have a confirmation number I could look it up with?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you didn’t book a reservation, and no one booked it for you, I don’t think you could possibly have a reservation. But, I would love to make you a reservation. In fact, I can make it right now. I’ll just need to get some information from you.”

    Caller: “No, I do not give out my information. I have a reservation!” *hangs up*

    Stop And Stair, Part 3

    | Boone, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    Customer: “What’s up there?” *pointing at the stairs*

    Me: “Those stairs take you to the second floor and the breakfast area.”

    Customer: “So, like, if we walk up those stairs, we’ll be on the second floor?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s generally what happens when you go up stairs.”

    Customer: “That’s so cool! They’ve got stairs and an elevator!”

    Stop And Stair, Part 2
    Stop And Stair

    Separate, But (Not) Equal

    | Wisconsin, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (I am explaining our different room types to someone who has never stayed with us. The hotel I work for is very small and has a different name for many suites.)

    Me: “And lastly, we have our Supreme and Premiere suites, which are our largest units.”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “They are exactly the same, except the Supreme is on the left side of the hall and the Premiere is on the right side.”

    Customer: “What’s the price difference?”

    Me: “They cost the same.”

    Customer: “Which one is better?”

    Me: “They are exactly the same.”

    Customer: “But which one is better?”

    Me: “They are the same. Just opposite sides of the hall.”

    Customer: “Just tell me which one is better, dear.”

    Me: “The Supreme?”

    Customer: “Thank you! You’ve been such a sweetheart!”

    The Customer Is Always Fright(ened)

    | Estes Park, CO, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (The Stanley Hotel is a very nice big hotel in town. It is known to be an inspiration to the book/movie “The Shining”. It is also known to be haunted, and even gives ghost tours.)

    Customer: “I demand a refund.”

    Assistant Manager: “I’m sorry, was there a problem with your room?”

    Customer: “Yes! The ghosts in your hotel are mean. I demand a refund.”

    Assistant manager: “I’m sorry, you have already stayed here and had every service our hotel has to offer. I cannot give you a refund. The hotel is known for being haunted, and I am sure you were aware of this going into your visit.”

    Customer: “But the ghosts were mean!”