Inn-Experienced Guest, Part 3

| France |

(I am serving drinks in the hotel’s restaurant before the start of a meal.)

Guest: “Can I charge this to room 1?”

Me: “Actually, no. You can’t.”

Guest: “Why ever not?”

Me: “Because that’s actually my room.”

Related:
Inn-Experienced Guest, Part 2
Inn-Experienced Guest

Home Is Where The Brain Isn’t

| Long Island, NY, USA |

(A guest picks up the house phone in the hallway. The call goes directly to the front desk.)

Me: “Front desk, how may I help you?”

Guest: *confused and disappointed* “Oh. The sign said ‘house phone’. I thought it would…um…call my house.”

Me: *seriously dumbfounded*

Guest: “I guess not.” *click*

Inexcretable Behavior

| UK | Rude & Risque

Receptionist: “Hello, [hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need to know if I’m still barred.”

Receptionist: “I can check that for you. Can I take your name, please?”

Caller: *gives name*

Receptionist: “Okay, I’ll just check for you. Out of interest, can I ask why you were barred?”

Caller: “Aye. I took a sh** in a pint glass.”

Receptionist: “Yeah, I’d say you’re still barred.”

Turn Left At Berlin And Just Keep Going

| Johannesburg, South Africa |

(The phone rings in reception and I answer. Note that we’re a hotel in South Africa.)

Caller: “Please give directions to your hotel.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. From which direction will you be coming?”

Caller: “Germany.”

The Lion, The Witch, And The Toilet

| Arizona, USA |

Me: “Front desk, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Where is the bathroom!?”

Me: “Are you referring to the lobby bathroom? That’s just down the hall from your room on the right side, towards the lobby.”

Customer: “No! I mean the bathroom in my room! It doesn’t have one!”

Me: “I can assure you it does, sir. Have you tried opening the door that you didn’t enter your room through?”

Customer: “Oh sh**! I thought that lead to another room.” *click*

Related:
The Lion, The Witch, And The Supply Cabinet

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