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    Lost A Sense Of Irony

    | Wildwood, NJ, USA | Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “Hi, can I check your lost and found? I think I left my phone here the other night.”

    Me: “Sure.” *gets out box* “Here you go.”

    Customer: *rummages through the box* “Whoa!”

    (She finds a very expensive MP3 player and begins to pocket it.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you said you left your phone here.”

    Customer: “Yea so? I still want this.”

    Me: “But it’s not yours, someone else lost it and will probably be looking for it.”

    Customer: “Well if they were stupid enough to lose something so expensive they don’t deserve to have it! Oh, here’s my phone!”

    (She walks away with her brand new iPhone 4.)

    On Completely Different Wavelengths

    | Chesapeake, VA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers

    (Note: the caller ID shows an out of town number.)

    Caller: “Uh, hi. My room radio doesn’t work anymore.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. What room are you in?”

    Caller: “Oh, no, I’m at home! I took the radio home and now the buttons on top don’t work. It’s just fuzz! No music!”

    Me: “Wait. So you stole a radio, took it home, and now you’re calling because the pre-assigned buttons don’t work?”

    Caller: “Can you fix it or not?!”

    How To Rock The Boat

    | Escanaba, MI, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at a hotel where some of the rooms overlook the lake. I get a customer checked in and give him a key to a room over looking the lake, but he comes back to the front desk after 5 minutes.)

    Customer: “This is unacceptable!”

    Me: “Is there a problem, sir?”

    Customer: “I went down there, and there is room 144, then 146, there is no 145!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s on the other side of the hotel. You have to go through the hallway.”

    Customer: “So I have to walk through someone else’s room?”

    Me: “No, this room is on the lake side of the hotel.”

    Customer: “The lake side? Well how do I get there? I don’t have a boat!”

    If At First You Don’t Succeed, Thai Again

    | Ontario, CA | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

    Guest: “Kamsamnida!”

    Me: “Excuse me sir?”

    Guest: “Did I not pronounce that right? Kamsamnida! It means ‘thank you’ doesn’t it?”

    Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, I’m Taiwanese, not Korean.”

    Guest: “Oh! I’m so sorry! Wow! Taiwanese eh? Is Thai food good? I’ve always wanted to try Thai food! Teach me how to say ‘Thank you’ in Thai?”

    Related:
    If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again

    Cause And Defect

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers

    Guest: “How much for one of your hotel rooms?”

    Me: *gives price*

    Guest: “How about if I only pay [another price]?”

    Me: “Sorry sir, I can’t do that. We’re almost sold out and I can’t reduce room rates when we’re almost sold out.”

    Guest: “Do you really think you’re going to sell this room anytime tonight?”

    Me: “Yes, I will. I’m the only hotel in the area with rooms left and other hotels are sending their overflow guests to me. I’ll sell this room in the next half hour.”

    Guest: “Oh come on!”

    Me: “Plus there’s a concert tonight and I’m getting a lot of concert go’ers coming in to get a room.”

    Guest: “But the concert is over! I just came from the concert myself!”

    Me: “And here you are!”

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