I worked in a hotel with a bar — a super ritzy place where there was a room that was over $5,000 a night and a shot of alcohol that was $1,000 — for a little over two years and have hundreds of stories. However, I am going to start off with one of my favorites. I was the supervisor of the contract security division.

After a portion of the rush was taken care of one night, I had the opportunity to go out for a lightly deserved smoke break. The smoking section was beneath the balcony of the bar. While I was shooting the s*** with a coworker, I heard the crash of a bottle as it fell from the balcony.

“Oh, s***. Time to get back to work,” I thought, as that was never a good sign.

When I got up to the bar and made my way through the crowd, I spoke to one of my officers who had a really keen eye for dumba**ery. I gave him an update and asked him to keep an eye on the balcony. He did so, and not even a minute later he came back to me.

Officer: “I just saw someone throwing a bottle off the balcony.”

[Officer] later informed me that [Guest] had been trying to sell alcohol to another bar patron, which is illegal in my state. That bar patron told [Guest] no but that they were going to get security, which is why [Guest] had decided to throw the bottle of alcohol from the balcony.

My second-in-command officer and I approached the guest, and we escorted him out.

In our bar, we had a sign at the exit for people leaving that stated, “No alcohol beyond this point”, which was one of our ways of keeping the place state legal. As we passed this sign, [Guest] must have seen the sign because he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little bag of coke.

Guest: “I don’t have any alcohol but I have this.”

At that point, I radioed property security, and they sent “Tower” over. Tower was an officer who worked private security for the property. He stood at about 6’8” and was a tower of a man.

I got [Guest] out on the second floor, and he wandered off. When Tower showed up, I updated him and gave him a description of [Guest], but at this point, [Guest] returned and shoved a group of random people, stating, “They were in my way,” as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. I went to talk to the group he had shoved, and Tower spoke to [Guest].

You know that one guy on your team that not a single person will screw with? That was Tower, mainly because there wasn’t anyone even close to his size, but also because he was a giant teddy bear. But [Guest] was pretty much ignoring Tower, to the point that he just walked away. Tower got the police on the radio and they met him at the skybridge.

I got the group that [Guest] had shoved to calm down, asked if everyone was unharmed, told them that we were handling this guy, and let them know that if they wanted to they could file assault charges. They declined, and we moved on.

I turned around to see [Guest] peeing off the skybridge while Tower was speaking on the radio.

At the end of this incident, [Guest] was trespassed from the property, but the police released him because the amount of coke in his possession wasn’t enough to prosecute. They did confiscate his coke, though.

BUT WAIT: THERE’S MORE!

[Guest] came back to the property later, found the officer who had confiscated his coke, and asked:

Guest: “Can I have my coke back?”

That officer called the police, who arrested him for violating a trespass, and it turned out he had warrants for his arrest in other states. All in all, that was the last time I will ever see [Guest]… probably.

I work in a restaurant in a hotel resort.

Customer: “I am allergic to vinegar, sugar, gluten, yeast, mushrooms, and citrus.”

Me: “That is noted, ma’am. What would you like to order?”

Customer: “The breaded fish lunch wrap.”

This is made with pre-breaded fish and comes with both slaw and a dill and lemon mayonnaise, so that’s going to go down well in the kitchen!

Customer: “And some bread for the table.”

Me: “I’m afraid that we don’t have any gluten-free or yeast-free bread available at the moment, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why not?! You said you cater to allergies!”

Me: “We try to do our best, ma’am, and we can try and have some ready for you tomorrow. We weren’t aware of your allergies until just now.”

She didn’t tell anyone she had these allergies until the day she arrived despite being asked twice on the phone. It’s our policy; we’re too remote to go on shopping trips for single customers.

We do our best to cater to her, and she complains that the meal is bland and not as described on the menu. We leave her with a menu to take to the room so that she can think about what she wants to eat the next night and let us know so that we might be able to cater to her better, but of course, we hear nothing from her.

She’s back the next night.

Customer: “I want the smoked duck with mushroom sauce.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That meal normally contains citrus, mushroom, sugar, vinegar, and nutritional yeast. It might not taste the same as described in the menu.”

Customer: “I don’t want something different than what is on the menu! I expect it to taste the same.”

Me: “Maybe the kitchen can work with something if they knew how severe your allergic reaction is or if it’s specific to certain ingredients — if you don’t mind me asking. For example, I have a mild reaction to pine nuts, but it’s something I can manage—”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not that. I don’t like them because they give me gas. But still, you’re an expensive resort, and I expect to eat good food!”

Me: *Eye twitching* “I’ll… relay that information to the kitchen, ma’am.”

It ended up taking the manager to confirm that she, in fact, had zero allergies. She just took “health advice” from her friends and some YouTube channels and bamboozled herself into thinking she should avoid those foods.

He had suspected as much when he saw her coming back from the town earlier in the day eating a huge baguette and a jelly donut.

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 28
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 27
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 26
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 25
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 24

I’m staying at [Hotel] in [Small Town] for the first time, and there isn’t much information about their restaurant on their site. I do know that I don’t have breakfast included in my booking.

Late in the evening, I go to check the restaurant’s opening hours.

Night Man: “Oh, the kitchen’s closed, I think, but you can get tea right now. Here’s the hot water and everything. Help yourself.”

At that point, I don’t want tea. In the morning, I learn the kitchen’s exact opening hours at the reception, and:

Me: “So… should I pay for the tea over there?”

Receptionist #1: “Oh, no, it’s free.”

Okay, I believe that, especially since it was free at [Guest House] where I stayed the last time I visited [Small Town]. I drink that tea with my breakfast — the food I’ve bought elsewhere.

The next morning, I get to the restaurant when breakfast is already drawing to a close and [Receptionist #2] is obviously clearing everything up.

Me: “Can I still have the tea now?”

Receptionist #2: “What’s your room number?”

I tell her.

Receptionist #2: “But you don’t have breakfast included. Only the water’s free; the tea costs 50 rubles.”

Me: “Oh, I’m awfully sorry, but I was told by your colleague yesterday that it was free…”

Later that day, I come to the reception and hand over a 100. I explain everything and say it’s for the past two days’ tea.

There are two receptionists on duty, and with my terrible facial memory, I can’t be sure if I talked to either about the tea, but I’m almost certain one of them is [Receptionist #2]. Both receptionists assure me:

Receptionists: “Oh, please, [My Name], it’s all right! Keep that!”

100 rubles is just a bit over $1 in current rates, so I know it was no big loss for them to make this tea on the house, but I really appreciate their friendliness about the whole miscommunication — especially since I’m incredibly nervous around strangers and often go to pieces after making mistakes.

To avoid trouble in the future, I simply bought a box of tea bags from a supermarket. With the amount of tea I drink, it’s the most economic solution.

I work in a hotel. I’m chilling at the desk when a large group of dudes in high-visibility gear comes up to the desk. Their boss approaches.

Boss: “Hey, I need to get two rooms with two beds.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re almost sold out. All I have left is one room with one bed.”

Boss: “Really? What happened?”

Me: “We’re just very busy this week.”

Boss: “I really need two rooms with two beds. Can you do one room with one bed and one room with two beds?”

Me: “I have one room with one bed, sir.”

Boss: “What about downstairs?”

Me: “Yes, it is downstairs.”

Boss: “Do you have two rooms downstairs?”

Me: “I have one room, with one bed, in the entire hotel.”

He turns to talk to his guys for a minute, and the phone rings, so I go to answer that. It’s someone else looking to get the price for the one room we have left, but he is looking for a smoking room, which we no longer have. (Cue celebration noises.)

After the phone call, I go back to [Boss].

Me: “Have you made a decision, sir? Would you like to rent the room?”

Boss: “I really need two rooms.”

Me: “I understand that, sir, but I don’t have two rooms.”

Boss: “Can you please check?”

Me: “There isn’t anything to check, sir. I have one room, with one bed left.”

Finally, he asked for the price of the room and then decided that standing around trying to will rooms into existence wasn’t working well and asked for directions to the next hotel.

I am a Latina woman with a pixie cut and the sides of my hair shaved so there are just lovely curls up top and falling down to the side.

At my hotel, we have several wedding groups in-house, which is normal for a weekend. But last night, I had to bite my tongue hard.

This all starts with a woman trying to check in when I am working the afternoon shift.

Me: *Politely* “Can I see your ID, please? And the card you wish to use for the room?”

Guest: “I don’t have my ID. But here’s my husband’s card.”

Me: “Is your husband here to show me his ID?”

Guest: “No, he’s still at the airport. We lost a suitcase and he’s trying to get it back.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but due to policy, I can’t check you in since you have no ID, and the card you have belongs to someone else.”

My general manager even comes from the back to back me up, and the woman is livid.

She storms out and sits outside yelling and talking s*** about us on the phone. I ignore it and move on with my day.

A few hours later, the woman is back with her son who has his own room.

Son: “Can I check my mom’s room in with my ID and my card?”

Me: “Sure, as long as the gentleman with the reservation says it’s okay.”

He texts his dad, who adds him to the reservation, and I check them in quickly.

On the weekends I do the audit shift, which I love. The next night, the wedding this woman is here for has an after-party reception, and they have booked our meeting room. It is fine, everyone is nice and chill, and it is a smooth-sailing shift.

Then, I have a young lady from the party come up to redo her keys; if you have our room keys too close to a cell phone, they demagnetize. I am chatting with her when [Woman] stops at the desk on her way back from smoking outside.

Woman: “My husband made fun of me because you had me homeless in the parking lot for two hours yesterday.”

I just smile and apologize for the inconvenience. She then comes out with:

Woman: “So, guy or girl?”

[Young Lady] and I look at her and at each other, confused.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what do you mean?”

Woman: “Oh, my friends, husband, and I have a bet and want to know if you’re a guy or a girl.”

[Young Lady] stares at her, horrified. I bite my tongue and respond with a smile.

Me: “I’m a woman, ma’am.”

I am in a grey cardigan and a cute short-sleeved blue blouse with black slacks, which is our uniform look for front-desk women.

This bitter woman gives me a fake smile and says:

Woman: “Oh, we all thought you were a man with how assertive you were about not checking me in, and how you were fine with us leaving without a place to stay, all over an ID.”

She then goes back to the party.

[Young Lady] then starts apologizing for the woman’s behavior on behalf of their group.

Young Lady: “I never heard anyone in our group talk about that, I swear.”

Me: “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’m sure she’s just drunk.”

I was trying to laugh it off, but inside, I was livid. I had really long hair for years, and it kind of hurt to think that people thought I looked like a man because I’d decided to cut it short, and it made me feel self-conscious for a bit before I knocked all those thoughts away. I will admit that I hid in the back for thirty minutes before going to start audit, though; when I sat down and thought about it, I realized [Woman] was trying to bait me into reacting negatively and possibly cost me my job, which ticked me off.

It’s simply baffling to think about how some people literally have no lives and get off on trying to make others unhappy like them. Other than that, the rest of my shift went smoothly, and I happily left as soon as the morning shift arrived.

[Woman] checks out today, so when I go in, I won’t see her face, which gives me joy and makes it better. Either way, I love my job and no one will take that from me.