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    Living In Their Own Little Bubble

    | Mansfield, TX, USA |

    Me: “Front desk, this is [me].”

    Guest: “Is this the front desk?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

    Guest: “Is it okay to get in the hot tub?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. It is open 24 hours.”

    Guest: “Okay. I was just checking because there seem to be bubbles in it.”

    Me: “No, that’s normal.”

    Guest: “I’ll call you if it’s a problem.” *click*

    Inn-Experienced Guest, Part 3

    | France |

    (I am serving drinks in the hotel’s restaurant before the start of a meal.)

    Guest: “Can I charge this to room 1?”

    Me: “Actually, no. You can’t.”

    Guest: “Why ever not?”

    Me: “Because that’s actually my room.”

    Related:
    Inn-Experienced Guest, Part 2
    Inn-Experienced Guest

    Home Is Where The Brain Isn’t

    | Long Island, NY, USA |

    (A guest picks up the house phone in the hallway. The call goes directly to the front desk.)

    Me: “Front desk, how may I help you?”

    Guest: *confused and disappointed* “Oh. The sign said ‘house phone’. I thought it would…um…call my house.”

    Me: *seriously dumbfounded*

    Guest: “I guess not.” *click*

    Inexcretable Behavior

    | UK | Rude & Risque

    Receptionist: “Hello, [hotel]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I need to know if I’m still barred.”

    Receptionist: “I can check that for you. Can I take your name, please?”

    Caller: *gives name*

    Receptionist: “Okay, I’ll just check for you. Out of interest, can I ask why you were barred?”

    Caller: “Aye. I took a sh** in a pint glass.”

    Receptionist: “Yeah, I’d say you’re still barred.”

    Turn Left At Berlin And Just Keep Going

    | Johannesburg, South Africa |

    (The phone rings in reception and I answer. Note that we’re a hotel in South Africa.)

    Caller: “Please give directions to your hotel.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir. From which direction will you be coming?”

    Caller: “Germany.”


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