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    The DST Fairy Bids Thee Good Morning

    | Grapevine, TX, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Math & Science

    (I am working in guest care at a hotel. It’s the morning after “springing forward”, and a guest calls down to ask the time.)

    Guest: “What’s the current local time?”

    Me: “It is 7:45 AM.”

    Guest: “Then why does my clock say that time already? Did you send a maid into my room while I was sleeping to set my clock forward?! That is just unacceptable!”

    Me: “Sir, the rooms all have atomic clocks that are automatically set by satellite signal.”

    Guest: *click*

    Checking Out On Capitalism

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

    (This is graduation week for the college that is a couple blocks away, so our rates are higher than they usually are for this week. Our rates are about 30 dollars less than the average rate of next closest hotel to campus.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I would like a room with two beds for May 11th-14th.”

    Me: “Sure, that will be $119 plus tax per night.”

    Caller: “What?! That’s ridiculous! I stayed there last month, and it was only $79!”

    Me: “Well, our rates do fluctuate based on what is going in the area. Supply and demand, you know?”

    Caller: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, more people want hotel rooms, so the price goes up. That’s how businesses make money.”

    Caller: “But you’re a hotel, not a business! I refuse to stay at a place where you jack up the rates to screw people over!” *hangs up*

    Less Than Or Equal To Dumb

    | Portland, OR, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Math & Science

    Guest: “We have a party of six. Will that fit in your hotel’s van?”

    Me: “Well, our hotel van has room for eleven.”

    Guest: *blank stare*

    Me: “So, your party of six will fit.”

    Guest: “Oh! Good.”

    The Skulls Are Thicker, Too

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    (We have a TV in our hotel’s breakfast lounge. A guest is having trouble turning it on with the remote.)

    Guest: “Can you turn on the TV please? I can’t find the right button.”

    Me: “Of course!” *turns on the TV*

    Guest: “Oh, I didn’t know you had to press that button. Our remotes are different in Sudbury, you see.”

    Me: “Sudbury has different remotes?”

    Guest: *completely serious* “Yes, they’re quite thicker!”

    It’s So Fluffy!

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bizarre

    (I work at a hotel doing housekeeping, laundry, and generally other things that need help. As I’m exchanging a guest’s towels, her friend comes out and seems really frustrated.)

    Guest: “Um, do you guys actually wash the pillows here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can assure you that all the pillows in here are clean.”

    Guest: “Obviously they’re clean! But do you wash them?”

    Me:  ”Uh…yes, we do.”

    Guest:  ”I knew it! THAT’S WHY THE PILLOWS ARE TOO G** D*** FLUFFY!”

    Me:  ”I’m sorry to hear that you were uncomfortable. Sometimes guests that are more used to things from their house bring their own pillows.”

    Guest: “And why the h*** would I do that?! All you d*** people would just steal it and make it fluffy!”

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