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    Less Than Or Equal To Dumb

    | Portland, OR, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Math & Science

    Guest: “We have a party of six. Will that fit in your hotel’s van?”

    Me: “Well, our hotel van has room for eleven.”

    Guest: *blank stare*

    Me: “So, your party of six will fit.”

    Guest: “Oh! Good.”

    The Skulls Are Thicker, Too

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    (We have a TV in our hotel’s breakfast lounge. A guest is having trouble turning it on with the remote.)

    Guest: “Can you turn on the TV please? I can’t find the right button.”

    Me: “Of course!” *turns on the TV*

    Guest: “Oh, I didn’t know you had to press that button. Our remotes are different in Sudbury, you see.”

    Me: “Sudbury has different remotes?”

    Guest: *completely serious* “Yes, they’re quite thicker!”

    It’s So Fluffy!

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bizarre

    (I work at a hotel doing housekeeping, laundry, and generally other things that need help. As I’m exchanging a guest’s towels, her friend comes out and seems really frustrated.)

    Guest: “Um, do you guys actually wash the pillows here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can assure you that all the pillows in here are clean.”

    Guest: “Obviously they’re clean! But do you wash them?”

    Me:  ”Uh…yes, we do.”

    Guest:  ”I knew it! THAT’S WHY THE PILLOWS ARE TOO G** D*** FLUFFY!”

    Me:  ”I’m sorry to hear that you were uncomfortable. Sometimes guests that are more used to things from their house bring their own pillows.”

    Guest: “And why the h*** would I do that?! All you d*** people would just steal it and make it fluffy!”

    Now Would Be A Good Time For *Evil Laugh*

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a hotel front desk. Two girls have just checked in.)

    Me: “Okay, I just need to see a picture ID and a credit card to check you into the hotel.”

    Customer: *concerned* “But will I get my card back?!”

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    Weekend Roundup: When Customers Attack!

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Wild & Unruly

    When Customers Attack! This week, we share stories of unruly customers who prefer (violent) action over words!

    1. Bull In A China Shop:
      Sticks & stones may break my bones, but naked, guitar-throwing customers can really hurt me!
    2. Acute Mental Failure:
      HULK CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOSPITAL DOOR! HULK SMASH!
    3. (Full) Front(al) Desk:
      Can’t check into your hotel room, lady? Just mentally check out by ripping off your clothes and running in circles!
    4. Fudge In Flight:
      A customer airs their fudge frustrations by sending their ice cream sundae airborne.
    5. Marriage: The Ultimate Slippery Slope:
      Here’s to throwing your belongings in the air like you just don’t care!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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