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    Misery Demands Company, Part 3

    | Santa Rosa, NM, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (A guest approaches the check-in window at 5:30 a.m.)

    Me: “Good morning! How are you?”

    Guest: “My wife wants to use the bathroom. She’s in there now.”

    Me: “Oh, alright, no problem! If there’s anything I can help you with, let me know.”

    Guest: “Are you happy?”

    Me: “Yes I am, sir! I’m always happy.”

    Guest: “Well, you shouldn’t be! It’s too early! Stop smiling! Now!”

    Related:
    Misery Demands Company, Part 2
    Misery Demands Company

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    Guest: “So, where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from Missouri.”

    Guest: “Really?! My wife has some family up there! It’s in Ohio, right?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Guest: “Oh, wait. That’s a state, isn’t it?”

    Related:
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    The Notified And The (Not)ified

    | California, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    Caller: “I have a reservation! I know I have one!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I don’t appear to have one under your name. Is there another name it could be under?”

    Caller: “NO! I have a reservation!”

    Me: “May I ask how you booked your reservation?”

    Caller: “I don’t know, but I have one!”

    Me: “Okay, did you book it online? Call the hotel or choice? did you come to the hotel and book it?”

    Caller: “No, I didn’t do any of those things but I know I have a reservation.”

    Me: “Could anyone else have made the reservation for you? Perhaps a travel agency?”

    Caller: “No, but I have a reservation! I know I do.”

    Me: “Do you have a confirmation number I could look it up with?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you didn’t book a reservation, and no one booked it for you, I don’t think you could possibly have a reservation. But, I would love to make you a reservation. In fact, I can make it right now. I’ll just need to get some information from you.”

    Caller: “No, I do not give out my information. I have a reservation!” *hangs up*

    Stop And Stair, Part 3

    | Boone, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    Customer: “What’s up there?” *pointing at the stairs*

    Me: “Those stairs take you to the second floor and the breakfast area.”

    Customer: “So, like, if we walk up those stairs, we’ll be on the second floor?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s generally what happens when you go up stairs.”

    Customer: “That’s so cool! They’ve got stairs and an elevator!”

    Related:
    Stop And Stair, Part 2
    Stop And Stair

    Separate, But (Not) Equal

    | Wisconsin, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (I am explaining our different room types to someone who has never stayed with us. The hotel I work for is very small and has a different name for many suites.)

    Me: “And lastly, we have our Supreme and Premiere suites, which are our largest units.”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “They are exactly the same, except the Supreme is on the left side of the hall and the Premiere is on the right side.”

    Customer: “What’s the price difference?”

    Me: “They cost the same.”

    Customer: “Which one is better?”

    Me: “They are exactly the same.”

    Customer: “But which one is better?”

    Me: “They are the same. Just opposite sides of the hall.”

    Customer: “Just tell me which one is better, dear.”

    Me: “The Supreme?”

    Customer: “Thank you! You’ve been such a sweetheart!”


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