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    Balking At Your Talking

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (It is morning, and all the guests are eating breakfast. Since no one is asking for service, I relax and chat with my coworker. A man and woman come up, with annoyed expressions.)

    Man: “Hey, you!”

    Me: “Yes? Can I help you with something?”

    Man: “Yes! You can help by not talking to your friend!”

    Me: “You mean, my coworker?”

    Woman: “Yes! Her! You’re supposed to work here, not chit chatting! I’ll be telling your manager about you slacking off!”

    Man: “What kind of service is this, where the workers just chatter on?”

    Me: “Well, I was just talking with my coworker here since there was no one in line or at the counter.”

    Man: “No, I don’t want you to do that! It’s very rude!”

    Me: “So…  you don’t want me to talk to my coworker?”

    Woman: “Yes, exactly! You are here to serve us! Nothing else! You hear me?”

    (They storm off, very incensed.)

    Manager: “What was that all about?”

    (They did complain, and their complaints were laughed off.)

    Has No Room To Maneuver

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    Lady: “I’d like a room.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we have no more.”

    Lady: “What? WHY NOT?!”

    Me: “Because we have run out of rooms to sell.”

    Lady: “Don’t be smart!”

    Me: “You want me to act dumb?”

    Lady: “No! I want YOU to give ME a room!”

    Me: “Look, we don’t have any more. I don’t know–.”

    Lady: “Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! I come in a hotel, and they don’t have rooms?! What madness is this?”

    Me: “Um—”

    Lady: “The whole POINT of hotels is to have rooms. Otherwise, it’s like me going into a mattress store and they have no mattresses! Or a hardware store and they have no wrenches!”

    Me: “I’m sure that even hardware stores run out of wrenches every once in a while… As for the mattress stores, they have plenty of stock in their warehouse for delivery. We can’t ‘deliver’ rooms and we have no warehouse.”

    Lady: “Stop being an a**!”

    (She ranted and raved about the ‘insane’ idea of a hotel having no rooms, and was eventually escorted off by security, still screaming!)

    Not Quite Married To The Name Yet

    | NB, Canada | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging

    (At the hotel where I work we keep our customer’s personal information on file so that they don’t have to repeat it every time they stay.)

    Customer: “I’d like to reserve a room for tonight, a double room, and my name is [Customer]. You should have my information on file already.”

    Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. Let me see… I don’t seem to have anything under that name. Is this the name you used last time you stayed with us?”

    Customer: “Of course! It’s my name; I always use it. What other name would I use?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just that we save the information by name and sometimes a client gives their name when the room was last booked under their spouse’s or parent’s name. Let me try a different spelling. Hmmm, still nothing. Did you stay here recently, as in within the last 12 months?”

    Customer: “It’s been less than that. I was here not long ago! How hard can it be to find my information? My name is [Customer].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t have anything here. In any case I’d be happy to reserve this room for you if you can just give me a telephone number and credit card…”

    Customer: “Absolutely not! You have my information and I’m not giving you anything! When I arrive later I expect to have my room ready with my personal information attached. My name is [Customer] and that is all you need. You must obviously be new here.”

    Me: “Actually, I’ve been here for two years, ma’am. Unfortunately I do not have access to your profile. I have nothing under the name you provided me, and I’ve even checked various spellings of the name. Are you certain you were here less than 12 months ago? Our system deletes profiles that haven’t been used for 12 months.”

    Customer: “I WAS JUST THERE! You are incompetent. I expect you to have my room ready when I arrive and be sure that I will be contacting your manager to have you retrained on how to use your system.” *hangs up*

    (Later, the customer comes in to check in and is furious that I still do not have her information on file. After reluctantly giving me at least her credit card number, I get her checked in and provide her with her room keys. As she’s walking away:)

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t know if it makes a difference but every other time we’ve stayed here we booked under my husband’s name, [Completely Different Name]. Can you find it if you look for that name? I mean, we were just here on [gives a date over three years ago]. You should have it.”

    Me: *trying not to bang my head on the desk* “I’ll take a look in the system, ma’am. Have a nice evening.”

    Customer: “I will when you learn to navigate your own computer system.”

    Bellowing, Not Belling

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at the front desk of a large resort in a small town. This is late at night so I am in the back room working on some nightly tasks. I have set the bell out on the counter in case a guest comes and I don’t see them.)

    Guest: “HELLOOO!”

    Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

    Guest: “I just want to get checked in! I have been waiting here for five minutes!”

    Me: “Oh, I am very sorry about that! Can I just get your last—”

    Guest: “I demand to speak to a manager about having to wait! That is ridiculous!”

    (I call the night manager up from helping another guest.)

    Manager: “How can I help you?”

    Guest: “This girl kept me waiting out here for five minutes before helping me!”

    Manager: *to me* “Is this true?”

    Guest: “Yes, it’s true! She didn’t even notice me!”

    Manager: “And you tried ringing the bell?”

    Guest: “Well, of course not!”

    Manager: “May I ask why not?”

    Guest: “Well, that would have been rude!”

    Need To Go Quebec And Get Her

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Hotels & Lodging

    (It is 7:15 am when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Front desk?”

    (A female guest in her 40s with a British accent answers:)

    Guest: “I need to make a local call. How much do you charge?”

    Me: “Local calls are free!”

    Guest: “Great! How do I make a local call?”

    Me: “Dial eight, and then the number you need.”

    Guest: “The number starts with 649. Is that what all local numbers start with?”

    Me: “Um, the number should start with either 438 or 514 for most local numbers.”

    Guest: “Well, I need to call my mother at the Best Western… Oh wait, here is says 1-418-649—”

    Me: “Uh, 418 is to call Quebec City and the surrounding area. Are you sure you have the right hotel?”

    Guest: “Yes… Best Western City Centre, on Rue de la Courone.”

    Me: “That is in Quebec City. Quebec City will be a long distance phone call, so there will be a charge of 0.75$/min.”

    Guest: “Wait, WHAT?! I THOUGHT WE WERE IN QUEBEC CITY! WHERE ARE WE? DID THEY SEND HER TO A DIFFERENT STATE OR SOMETHING?”

    Me: “You are in Montreal. Quebec City is still in the same province, but it is about 2.5 hours away…”

    Guest: “MY MOTHER IS 2.5 HOURS AWAY?! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY–”  *click*

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