Her Sanity Is Under Construction

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I am working as a front desk supervisor and have checked a very sweet, older lady into a very specific room type; she wanted as high as possible, facing the Space Needle. A few minutes after she went upstairs she returned to the desk.)

Customer: “I LOVE the room!”

Me: “Great! I’m so glad you like it!”

Customer: “But…”

Me: *in my head* “Oh, no. Here it comes.”

Customer: “There’s a crane in my view.”

(Seattle at this point had (and still has) a ton of construction going on. About halfway between the hotel and the Needle there is condo construction, and indeed, a crane, but the lady is 46 floors up so it is not blocking the Needle at all.)

Me: “Yes, Seattle does have a good bit of construction now. I can certainly move you to a different view with no cranes.”

Customer: *still being very sweet and cheerful* “Oh, no, honey. I don’t want to change rooms. I LOVE my room. I want the crane to be moved.”

Me: “Um… ma’am you realize that would cost millions in late deadlines, loss of pay for workers, cost to move it and then put it back…”

Customer: *again, still super nice* “Oh, I know, honey. Money is no object! I just want a pretty view!”

(At this point I started to look for cameras, thinking I was being pranked. I excused myself and went to tell my Director of Rooms the situation. He thought I must be joking at first too, but then he went out to speak with the lady. She was just as nice and happy with him, but was just certain we would get this crane moved for her. My director finally got her a list of phone numbers for the city, the construction crew, and the people that own the building. He told her that since they would probably want to talk money, it would be better it she spoke with them herself. She happily took the list, thanked us, and left. The crane never moved.)

Lost The Discount

| Denver, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(This is a phone conversation:)

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel Name and Location]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve been driving around for twenty minutes looking for you. I think you should give me a discount.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

(I give directions to the hotel from where she is. She’s basically around the corner.)

Customer: *obviously not listening* “Yeah, but I want a discount.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not something I can discount for. You are always free to call if you need help, though.”

Customer: “But I want a discount.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t.”

Customer: “…An upgrade then.”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “…Okay.”

(She arrives at the front desk and I start checking her in. I’ve acknowledged the fact that I spoke to her on the phone before.)

Customer: “I got lost. Give me a discount.”

Me: “…No.”

Customer: “Upgrade?”

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 10

| Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(We have an elderly guest who stays at the hotel for years and treats it like her own personal nursing home despite the fact that we do not have the manpower or facilities to take care of her. One night I answer the phone to this, I am the only one on staff.)

Me: “Front Desk. This is [My Name].”

Guest: “[My Name]! Come up here and help me.”

Me: *internal sigh* “What can I do for you?”

Guest: “Help me put on my panty hose!”

Me: *knowing what this means, as she’s done similar things before* “I’m sorry, I can’t leave the desk for that.”

Guest: “YOU DO THIS. IS MY MONEY NOT AS GOOD AS EVERYONE ELSE’S?”

Me: “No, [Guest], that’s just not something we can do for you.”

(I hang up and she calls back repeatedly, flooding the phones so I can’t answer any other phone calls or check anyone in. I finally just decide to go up.)

Guest: “FINALLY.”

(She answered the door – naked from the waist down. She handed me a pair of panty hose, which I then dutifully helped her into. This is not the first or last time this has happened.)

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 9
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 8
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7

Good Matt Hunting

| Denver, CO, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Movies & TV

Coworker: *to woman who has walked through the door* “Hi there! What can I do for you!”

Woman: “I’m looking for Matt Damon’s room.”

Coworker: *checks computer* “I don’t have anyone under that name… Did you mean the movie star, Matt Damon?”

Woman: “Yes!”

(We are a nice hotel, but not THAT nice.)

Coworker: “I’m pretty sure he’s not here.”

Woman: “But he’s picking me up here! I’m going to call him!”

Coworker: “O… kay.”

(She lets her stay on the couch for a half hour to wait for Matt Damon. A little bit after we switch out, the woman comes back to the front desk.)

Woman: “I’m going to go wait out front for him!”

(She then wandered out the door and into the busy parking lot, and walked aimlessly out into the neighborhood.)

Plenty Of Room For Him To Make A Mistake

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working the graveyard shift at a hotel. I am a 22-year-old female. This happens just as I have stepped outside to have a cigarette around 2 am. The man is a 40ish year old who is almost twice my size. He pulls up in a sporty little car.)

Drunk Male: “Ya got any rooms tonight, sweetheart?”

Me: “I’m afraid the hotel is sold out tonight, sir.”

Drunk Male: “Well, throw someone out. I’m a diamond member and you have to give me a room.”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m not throwing anyone out. There’s lodging elsewhere.”

Drunk Male: “The customer is always right, and I’m the customer and I say throw someone out! I want a room.”

(This goes on for a little bit before he gets out of his car. He gets right in my face while towering over me.)

Drunk Male: *jabbing at me, then pulling back a fist like he’s going to hit me* “Look here. I said get me a room!”

Me: “If you’re going to swing at me, you’ve got one chance to connect, then I am going to introduce you to a whole new world of pain before the cops get here.”

(The drunk male pulled his arm back. I just smiled. He looked worried, then got in his car and peeled out. Best part, he cut off a cop on the way out of the lot, so I got to watch him get arrested, his car towed, and my faith in karma restored.)

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