Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,377 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Much Askew About Nothing

    | MD, USA | Top

    (A client walks into clinic as the floors are being mopped. She notices the ‘wet floor’ sign, and immediately starts flailing around as if she’s slipping.)

    Me: “I haven’t mopped that part of the lobby yet.”

    (The client immediately stops her dramatics.)

    Client: “Oh, okay.”

    Romance Isn’t Dead, It’s Just Asleep

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    (A patient is signing consents. They will receive conscious sedation before a small, outpatient surgery.)

    Patient: “So, when I get upstairs, they’re going to seduce me?”

    Physician, Heal Thyself

    | Pawtucket, RI, USA |

    Caller: “Hi, do you have any reports by Dr. Smith?”

    Me: “Certainly. On what patient?”

    Caller: “Not specific ones.”

    Me: “Oh. So you need all Dr. Smith’s most recent reports?”

    Caller: “Not necessarily recent.”

    Me: “So, not specific patients, not specific dates. Do you want all his reports, ever?”

    Caller: “I think. I don’t know. Okay.” *hangs up*

    A-Pee-l For An Appointment

    | OR, USA | Health & Body

    (Some of the exams we schedule require that a patient have a full bladder at the time of the exam in order to get the appropriate images.)

    Caller: “Hi, I was hoping you might have an opening for an OB ultrasound this afternoon?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the schedule is actually very full today. I could get her in tomorrow afternoon if you’d like?”

    Caller: “No, that’s okay. She’s just here now with a full bladder and we didn’t want to waste it.”

    A Dead Giveaway

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am answering the switchboard for a large hospital.)

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me what phone company the hospital uses?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. The person that has that information left at 5:00 p.m. But if you call our purchasing office in the morning, they can tell you.”

    Caller: “Oh, no! It is a matter of grave importance that I find out right now!”

    Me: “What is the situation? Maybe I can help?”

    Caller: “My grandmother died there about a week ago and she didn’t have a will. I know for a fact that all the phone companies record all of our conversations. So, I thought maybe grandma called someone while she was in the hospital and told them what she left me.”

    Page 9/16First...7891011...Last