I’ve just had surgery. A nice volunteer takes my wheelchair and wheels me to the car where my mom is waiting. My mom and I have a brief conversation. Then, we turn back to the volunteer and I try to get his attention. The volunteer stops me before I can say anything.

Volunteer: “No, I’m sorry. I appreciate it, but we’re not allowed to take tips.”

Me: “Um… I was actually going to say that I left some paperwork back in the recovery room, and I needed your help to retrieve it.”

Volunteer: “Oh.”

I am a doctor in a hospital. At around 5:00 in the evening, we got a call that Code Black had been announced in the hospital. This meant that a mass casualty had occurred and the patients were being sent our way. Two buses had collided with each other; some patients were mildly injured, but some of them had serious injuries.

Around that time, a mother had brought her son to the hospital to consult into emergency because her son was having a minor stomachache and was refusing to eat food. I personally went to talk to her.

Me: “Ma’am, a large number of patients are coming here with trauma due to an accident. We’ll help them first to avoid fatalities. You and your son can either wait in the hall or go to the department of medicine and someone will attend you there.”

She started to make a fuss.

Woman: “You’re refusing to do your duty! You’re here just to trouble the patients!”

At the same time, the first two ambulances arrived, and both of the patients were injured badly. On seeing that, the security guards had to clear the entrance to the emergency room, and they asked the woman to move aside. When she refused to do so, they called a female guard, and she helped push the woman and her son aside. She started to scream like a banshee.

Woman: “You assaulted me! You assaulted my son and me! I’m going to call the police and file charges against you for harassment!”

We ignored her shouting and screaming.

We took the ambulance patients inside and gave their wounds support to stop the bleeding enough that they could be taken into the surgery room to locate the wounds, completely stop the bleeding, and check for any further damage.

The woman came back into the ER with her son, and of course, we were there and there was blood around the floor.

Woman: *Shouting* “You’re going to give us infections and make us sick with all this blood!”

We again had to ask the guards to escort her out as the ambulances with other, less injured patients had started to come in. We were tending to those patients when the woman tried to stop the entry of a patient who was not very injured but needed a full examination.

Woman: “This patient is fine! My baby needs treatment first!”

Remember, we had already told her to go to the other department, but she did not want to walk even a small distance to have her baby evaluated and treated.

This time, she actually called the police and tried to pester us again. One of my fellow doctors approached the police and told them about the whole scenario. They already knew that we were treating the patients. The woman had told them that we had refused to take in any patients and were making them wait outside.

At the end, the policemen took the woman outside, gave her a nice earful of some well-deserved strong words, and slapped her with a nice hefty fine. She was banned from the hospital for two weeks.

Later, we did treat her son, and it all turned out to be a sham. The whole problem was that the child did not get the food he had demanded, so he made a fuss about it.

On the brighter side, all of the patients from the accident were completely treated, and today, the last patient was discharged from the wards. They are all doing perfectly fine.

Some people really have the audacity to be such idiots in emergency scenarios for nothing but attention and drama.

I’m in the emergency room being checked out for some extreme pain. They’re going over some medical history questions, and we come to the “Are you pregnant?” section.

Doctor: “Any chance you’re pregnant?”

Me: “Nope.”

Doctor: “Completely sure?”

Me: “I haven’t had sex in five years, my tubes are tied, and I have an IUD. If I’m pregnant at this point, it’s the will of God.”

Doctor: “…but are you sure?”

They ran a pregnancy test anyway. To nobody’s surprise, it came back negative.

CONTENT WARNING: Sexual Assault Of A Child

This is the story of how my oldest daughter got suspended for “assaulting a colleague” and its legal conclusion.

The school called to tell me about the “assault”, so I changed into a suit, dolled up a bit (to look more “respectable”), and went there. I entered the principal’s office, where my daughter was waiting.

Principal: “Ms. [My Name], the reason I called you here is that [Daughter] here assaulted a boy, elbowing him in the nose and then punching him, knocking two teeth out. This behaviour is unacceptable for a young lady. As such, she’ll be suspended for a month.”

Me: *To my daughter* “Why did you do that, honey?”

Daughter: “He came from behind me, put his hands up my shirt, grabbed my breasts, and said, ‘Nice t*ts.’ So, I did as uncle taught me.”

Me: *To the principal* “Is this true? You’re punishing my daughter for defending herself? Then what is his punishment for sexually assaulting her?”

Principal: “No punishment. He was assaulted — something very traumatic for an eleven-year-old boy. Also, what he did is normal for boys his age.”

Me: “Okay. Can I have that in writing? Everything you just said?”

Principal: “Here’s the report with the witnessing teacher’s account.”

I picked up the report, which said exactly what the principal had just told me. Then, I got up, grabbed my daughter’s hand, and turned to the principal.

Me: “Now, I am going to the nice police officer outside, and I am going to press charges against you and this school for failing to protect its student from sexual assault and discrimination. Good day.”

(They have police due to a program called “Escola Segura”, which stations cops near schools.)

We walked outside, and I did press charges, showing the report to the cop, who took a picture of it and gave me a report number so I could follow its progress.

The next day, I woke [Daughter] up at 9:30 am and told her to take a shower, so we could go to the ER to get her hand X-rayed, just to be safe.

About twenty minutes later, I heard the water running, and then I heard her screaming. I ran into the bathroom and found her staring at the mirror, tears running down her face. Why? Her chest had bruises in the shape of the little a**hole’s hands — a very traumatizing thing for any woman, let alone an eleven-year-old girl.

I helped her shower and get dressed, and then I called the police, giving them the case number and requesting their presence with a forensic tech at the hospital, also explaining why.

We got there and were escorted through a side door. The tech (a woman) along with a female nurse took pictures and measured the bruises. While this was happening, I was present and giving a statement to a CPS (Child Protective Services) lady, who was shocked at the principal’s reaction to the whole thing. The police officers informed me that they would be adding assault charges against a kid who did this, beyond the ones already filed against him and the school.

As soon as we got home, [Daughter] curled up in my bed, cried under the sheets, and fell asleep. I was feeling murderous. 

My husband and I and our lawyer had a meeting a few days later with the representatives from the Education Department and the Justice Department. They informed us that the principal had been fired and forbidden from working with children. My daughter’s suspension had been revoked, but they would be giving her the time needed for her to recover, and they offered €100,000 in compensation if we didn’t go to court. We agreed.

As for the kid who assaulted my daughter, he was expelled from the school. Legally, we can’t sue him for damages as he is a minor, but the State is proceeding with the criminal charges, and they are going to offer him a five-year suspended sentence and a restraining order so he can’t get within 200m of my daughter. Should he refuse, he’ll get five years in a correction house and between two to five years in an adult prison.

We agreed to their proposal.

They also asked if we wanted [Daughter] to be homeschooled. She’d have the full support of the State, and she would only have to take the tests and exams at the school. We later talked with her and she chose to be homeschooled for the rest of the year since we’re moving abroad next year anyway.

This story is part of the Readers’-Favorite-Stories Of-2023 roundup!

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I have my mom’s small, deep veins. I still try to donate blood and plasma if I can, and I’ve had some ongoing health concerns for years. I’ve gotten very used to being turned into a pincushion whenever I need blood drawn. Usually, the techs get the vein after a few attempts, but it’s not uncommon for me to be in pain and/or bruised following bloodwork. Remarkably, I have yet to faint or develop a phobia.

I have some lab work scheduled and need a blood draw. I offer the arm I’ve been told is better, look away, and start taking deep breaths. I’m focused on breathing, but eventually, I realize I don’t feel anything, so I look over at the nurse. She’s wrapping my arm and has the filled vial next to her!

Me: *Incredulously* “How’d you do that?! I’m used to people sticking me a bunch of times!”

Nurse: *Without missing a beat* “That’s ‘cause they suck.”