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    Cardiac Unrest

    | Arizona, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I work in an ER and I am checking in a patient who needs a cardiac procedure.)

    Patient: “You have an accent. Where are you from?”

    Me: “South Africa.”

    Patient: *disgusted* “South AFRICA? Oh, well I’m sure they wouldn’t have hired you unless you were properly educated.”

    Me: “I assure you, I have a good education. The cardiologist will be in to see you shortly.”

    (As I’m walking out, the cardiologist walks in and introduces himself to the patient.)

    Patient: “Oh, you have an accent, too. Where are you from?”

    Doctor: “South Africa.”

    Patient: *horrified*

    A Wick-ed Accident

    | Valencia, Spain | Bizarre, Health & Body, Top

    (My friend is a nurse at a local hospital.)

    Patient: “My belly is hurting me.”

    My Friend: “Don’t worry, sir. We’ll sort it out.”

    (My friend proceeds to do a routine examination on the patient. Whenever she touches the patient’s abdomen, he suffers from a lot of pain. They take him to the x-ray room for scans.)

    My Friend: “Sir, it appears you have… um… three candles lodged in your rectum. Do you have any idea how this happened?”

    Patient: “Well… er… I was carrying an armful of candles down some stairs and I tripped and…” *trails off into silence*

    My Friend: “So, you fell on a candle.”

    Patient: “Yes.”

    My Friend: “Then you fell again, on another candle.”

    Patient: “Yes.”

    My Friend: “And then once more, on yet another candle.”

    Patient: “That’s what happened!

    Hair-Raising Customers

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I have very long, honey-blonde hair that is not dyed or altered. A lady is waiting for her boyfriend in the hospital emergency room when she approaches my desk.)

    Me: “Hi, would you like to head back to check on [lady's boyfriend]?”

    Lady: “No. I just wanted to compliment you on your extensions and get the number of your hairdresser.”

    Me: “Actually, my hair is natural.”

    Lady: “Yeah, okay, right…seriously, who does your hair?”

    (At that moment, my printer begins printing paperwork and I turn around to retrieve it. Suddenly, she leans forward and yanks on my hair.)

    Me: “OW!”

    (She yanks even harder.)

    Lady: “They usually come right out!”

    (I am trying to free my hair from her as she continues to yank.)

    Me: “OW! Ma’am, please, ow, stop. It’s not going to come off! It’s attached to my head!”

    (Thankfully, security shows up and makes her let go. As she’s heading to her boyfriend’s room, she starts ranting.)

    Lady: “HAIR CAN’T GROW THAT LONG!”

    Weekend Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 2

    , , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Technology

    Tech Support Classics, Part 2: This week, we feature another five stories that reveal the trials, tribulations, and terrors that technical support employees endure daily! PS–also check out Tech Support Classics, Part 1!

    1. Scareware Makes Us Aware:
      TMI: getting an STD from an FLV!
    2. Workin’ That Tech Support Magic:
      A clever tech support employee gets some magical help!
    3. Get A Life:
      A “real”-ly demanding customer gets a “reality” check.
    4. What She Needs Is A Skynet:
      Artificial intelligence meets zero intelligence.
    5. How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2:
      A user points and clicks their way into the Tech Support Hall Of Shame!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Weekend Roundup: When Customers Attack!

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Wild & Unruly

    When Customers Attack! This week, we share stories of unruly customers who prefer (violent) action over words!

    1. Bull In A China Shop:
      Sticks & stones may break my bones, but naked, guitar-throwing customers can really hurt me!
    2. Acute Mental Failure:
      HULK CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOSPITAL DOOR! HULK SMASH!
    3. (Full) Front(al) Desk:
      Can’t check into your hotel room, lady? Just mentally check out by ripping off your clothes and running in circles!
    4. Fudge In Flight:
      A customer airs their fudge frustrations by sending their ice cream sundae airborne.
    5. Marriage: The Ultimate Slippery Slope:
      Here’s to throwing your belongings in the air like you just don’t care!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!


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