Tech Support Classics, Part 2: This week, we feature another five stories that reveal the trials, tribulations, and terrors that technical support employees endure daily! PS–also check out Tech Support Classics, Part 1!
- Scareware Makes Us Aware:
TMI: getting an STD from an FLV!
- Workin’ That Tech Support Magic:
A clever tech support employee gets some magical help!
- Get A Life:
A “real”-ly demanding customer gets a “reality” check.
- What She Needs Is A Skynet:
Artificial intelligence meets zero intelligence.
- How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2:
A user points and clicks their way into the Tech Support Hall Of Shame!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
(I work at the information desk in a section of the hospital allocated for renting to private practices. It’s a pretty large building, so we get a lot of patients asking directions to a certain doctor’s office.)
Patient: “I have an appointment at 2:00. Where do I go?”
Me: “Well, this is a large building with a lot of doctors in it. Who did you need to see?”
Patient: “I don’t know. Can’t you look it up? My name is [name].”
Me: “Unfortunately, I don’t have access to the doctors’ schedules. Do you remember what kind of doctor it was? General practitioner, cardiologist—”
Patient: “I don’t remember.”
Me: “What were you seeing the doctor for?”
Patient: “My kidneys, I think…”
(I start going through the list of doctors looking for nephrologists.)
Me: “Does [nephrologist] sound familiar?”
Patient: “I don’t remember! Just tell me where my appointment is!”
Me: “So, you can’t consume any food or drink after 12 midnight today—”
Patient: “Do you want me to starve to death?”
Me: “Actually, sir, you’re one of the earlier cases. Your reporting time is at 9:30 am.”
Patient: “I’ll still starve to death! What the h*** are you people trying to do, kill me?!”
(I work as a patient coordinator in an outpatient clinic. In our waiting room, we have a coffee machine that has three options on it: mild, regular, and bold. To use it, one simply opens up the compartment and places a single packet on the tray.)
Coworker: “There’s coffee everywhere in the waiting room!”
(I go to check it out. There is coffee all in the general area, on a patient, who is unhurt, and all of her papers. I ask the patient what happened)
Patient: “Your coffee machine is terrible; that’s what happened! Your coffee is so weak and I tried to make it stronger! Then, it shot coffee everywhere!”
Me: “Sorry to hear that! Let me see what I can do.”
(I open the coffee machine to see that the patient has shoved two coffee packets in the compartment, which clearly is supposed to take one. It’s a wonder the machine didn’t break.)
Me: “Ma’am, did you place two coffee packets in the compartment?”
Patient: “Of course! How else can I make it stronger?”
Me: *noticing the “Mild” option is selected* “Next time, please press the button that says ‘Bold’.”
Brawn Over Brains