Annoying Pneumonia

| Maryland, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am a nurse sitting with a mother whose son passed out during school. I am asking her some questions while he is examined.)

Me: “Has he complained of any discomfort or anything strange such as headaches, dizziness, nausea, fatigue, chest pains, muscle aches, difficulty breathing?”

Mother: “Well, he was complaining that his chest hurt. He’s also been breathing heavily lately and coughing a lot.”

Me: “When did this start?”

Mother: “Oh, I don’t know…five or six days ago?”

Me: “Your son has been complaining of chest pains and difficulty breathing for almost a week? Why didn’t you take him to the doctor?”

Mother: “I thought he was just trying to get attention. You know kids–they always want attention!”

The Silver (Bra) Lining

| Boston, MA, USA | Rude & Risque, Top

(I am a female nurse in a clinic and I share my shift with a rather handsome male nurse. On this particular day, a middle-aged regular patient comes in.)

Patient: “Hi, I’m here for my breast examination.”

Me: “Great, just follow me inside the examination room for your test.”

Patient: “Are you going to perform the test?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am.”

Patient: “Oh, I was hoping that the other nurse would do it.”

Me: “Well, I could ask him if you want me to.”

Patient: “Yeah, do that. Tell him I’m looking forward to it!”

Me: “Uh, okay! But I really think that you’ll be more comfortable if–”

Patient: “Let him touch me!”

It’s Never Too Late To Find Your Higher Calling, Part 2

| Northridge, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A frantic, middle-aged man rushes to the check-in counter at my hospital.)

Patient: “I need a doctor!”

Me: “What’s seems to be your problem, sir?”

Patient: “I don’t feel good! My heartbeat is racing fast! I can’t see straight. I need a doctor NOW!”

Me: “Sir, please calm down. When did you start having these symptoms? Did you take any medication today?”

Patient: “I don’t know! It started after I smoked that joint. It was my first time!”

Related:
It’s Never Too Late To Find Your Higher Calling

Much Askew About Nothing

| MD, USA | Top

(A client walks into clinic as the floors are being mopped. She notices the ‘wet floor’ sign, and immediately starts flailing around as if she’s slipping.)

Me: “I haven’t mopped that part of the lobby yet.”

(The client immediately stops her dramatics.)

Client: “Oh, okay.”

Romance Isn’t Dead, It’s Just Asleep

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(A patient is signing consents. They will receive conscious sedation before a small, outpatient surgery.)

Patient: “So, when I get upstairs, they’re going to seduce me?”

Page 10/17First...89101112...Last