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    Actors Of The Corn

    | New Zealand | Awesome Workers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Twenty other actors and I lurk in the corn maze at night. Our job is to scare the customers as they come through. People are usually into the whole thing, but sometimes we have groups through that deliberately take the whole thing as a joke and belittle the actors. I hide just off the side of the path in the ‘hospital ward’, which is lined with beds and straw dummies. The customers don’t usually see me until I rush out at them. This means I hear them coming, and also hear what they say.)

    Male Customer #1: “Dude this is f****** dumb; it’s not even scary!”

    Male Customer #2: “I know! The North Island’s maze is so much better! This is f****** tame!”

    (The rest of group grunts in agreement. This group is comprised of really big, tough looking Samoan guys. I am a relatively tall woman dressed as an axe murdering man, complete with a wooden axe. I am minuscule compared to them. They enter my area through the net archway.)

    Male Customer #2: “What the f*** is this s*** supposed to be?”

    Male Customer #1: “Hey! We can have a nap!”

    (Male Customer #3 moves towards the bed closest to my hiding spot.)

    Male Customer #3: “We should just stay here until another group comes through; there’s no one in here!”

    (I lunge out and scream a gravelly voice.)

    Me: “That’s how the last group ended up as FERTILIZER, sonny boy!”

    (They take one look at me and my axe, and run out of there shrieking like schoolgirls. They then encounter the twins on the other side of the second archway. This results in them screaming even louder, falling off the path into the corn, and scrambling madly to get away.)