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    How To Fleece Customers

    | Sydney, Australia | Top

    Customer: “There are lots of different kinds of quilt fibres. Which kind is best?”

    Me: “Well, generally natural fibres are best. Wool is particularly good. It’s warm in winter and cool in summer. Plus, wool is fire resistant.”

    Customer: “Well, now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a sheep on fire.”

    A State Of Mindlessness, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Health & Body, Home Improvement

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve noticed that all these pieces of wood have a sticker on them that say’s they contain a product that is believed to cause cancer in the state of California.”

    Me: “Yes, that is just a sticker the company has left on there because we also sell in California.”

    Customer: “So, since I live here in Washington I won’t get cancer, right?”

    Related:
    A State Of Mindlessness

    Makes You Want To Meter Maker

    | Fife, UK | Home Improvement

    (I pick up the phone.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, can you tell me what 130 mm is in centimeters?”

    Me: “13 cm.”

    Caller: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Uh, pretty sure.”

    Caller: “Hmm, okay. Thank you.”

    (I hang up. 30 seconds later the phone rings again, this time one of my co-workers answers it.)

    Co-Worker: “Good afternoon, how may I help you?”

    *pause*

    Co-Worker: “13 cm.”

    Military Discount Can Save An Arm And A Leg

    | Sicklerville, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Money

    Customer: “Now don’t forget my military discount!”

    Me: “Do you have a military ID, sir?”

    Customer: “Sure do.”

    (He starts digging through his wallet and doesn’t immediately find it.)

    Customer: “I can also show you my scars from Vietnam!”

    Me: “Just the ID will do fine.”

    Directionless Call

    | Rockledge, FL, USA | Bizarre

    Me: *answering phone* "How may I direct your call?"

    *silence*

    Me: "Hello?"

    (After repeating this a few times, I hear fumbling on the other end.)

    Caller: "Hello?"

    Me: "Hello, sir. How may I direct your call?"

    Caller: "I’m sorry, you’ve got the wrong number."

    Me: "But…you called me."


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