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    Live Wires Are Stupid Magnets

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have these wires that are red, black, and white, coming out of my drywall in my garage. I touched them and they did not appear live. I need to do something with them so I can patch the wall.”

    Me: “Okay, we can get some caps for you and some electrical tape. Just cap each one individually and wrap them individually with the tape and
    you can tuck them back into the wall without any issues.”

    Customer: “Should I test them to see if they are live? Should I touch them to my tongue?”

    Me: “No!”

    How To Fleece Customers

    | Sydney, Australia | Top

    Customer: “There are lots of different kinds of quilt fibres. Which kind is best?”

    Me: “Well, generally natural fibres are best. Wool is particularly good. It’s warm in winter and cool in summer. Plus, wool is fire resistant.”

    Customer: “Well, now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a sheep on fire.”

    A State Of Mindlessness, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Health & Body, Home Improvement

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve noticed that all these pieces of wood have a sticker on them that say’s they contain a product that is believed to cause cancer in the state of California.”

    Me: “Yes, that is just a sticker the company has left on there because we also sell in California.”

    Customer: “So, since I live here in Washington I won’t get cancer, right?”

    Related:
    A State Of Mindlessness

    Makes You Want To Meter Maker

    | Fife, UK | Home Improvement

    (I pick up the phone.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, can you tell me what 130 mm is in centimeters?”

    Me: “13 cm.”

    Caller: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Uh, pretty sure.”

    Caller: “Hmm, okay. Thank you.”

    (I hang up. 30 seconds later the phone rings again, this time one of my co-workers answers it.)

    Co-Worker: “Good afternoon, how may I help you?”

    *pause*

    Co-Worker: “13 cm.”

    Military Discount Can Save An Arm And A Leg

    | Sicklerville, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Money

    Customer: “Now don’t forget my military discount!”

    Me: “Do you have a military ID, sir?”

    Customer: “Sure do.”

    (He starts digging through his wallet and doesn’t immediately find it.)

    Customer: “I can also show you my scars from Vietnam!”

    Me: “Just the ID will do fine.”

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