Customer: “There are lots of different kinds of quilt fibres. Which kind is best?”
Me: “Well, generally natural fibres are best. Wool is particularly good. It’s warm in winter and cool in summer. Plus, wool is fire resistant.”
Customer: “Well, now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a sheep on fire.”
Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve noticed that all these pieces of wood have a sticker on them that say’s they contain a product that is believed to cause cancer in the state of California.”
Me: “Yes, that is just a sticker the company has left on there because we also sell in California.”
Customer: “So, since I live here in Washington I won’t get cancer, right?”
A State Of Mindlessness
(I pick up the phone.)
Me: “Good afternoon, how may I help you?”
Caller: “Hi, can you tell me what 130 mm is in centimeters?”
Me: “13 cm.”
Caller: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Uh, pretty sure.”
Caller: “Hmm, okay. Thank you.”
(I hang up. 30 seconds later the phone rings again, this time one of my co-workers answers it.)
Co-Worker: “Good afternoon, how may I help you?”
Co-Worker: “13 cm.”
Customer: “Now don’t forget my military discount!”
Me: “Do you have a military ID, sir?”
Customer: “Sure do.”
(He starts digging through his wallet and doesn’t immediately find it.)
Customer: “I can also show you my scars from Vietnam!”
Me: “Just the ID will do fine.”
Me: *answering phone* "How may I direct your call?"
(After repeating this a few times, I hear fumbling on the other end.)
Me: "Hello, sir. How may I direct your call?"
Caller: "I’m sorry, you’ve got the wrong number."
Me: "But…you called me."