I recently read this story about a thief. Back in the olden days, thieves were less sophisticated but still successful.

I knew of a guy who would go to home improvement stores and pick a large, inexpensive item that came in a box and put it in his cart. He would ditch that item, keeping the box, and then get busy filling that box with power tools and expensive merchandise. He even carried a roll of clear packing tape to seal it back up.

He’d just roll his cart to the checkout with the barcode facing up, and he knew which cashiers were lazy and would just scan it without checking. He could easily get over a thousand dollars of product for thirty or forty bucks.

Related:
He Was Clearly Hoping No One Could Put A Finger On The Problem

When I was a baby, for one reason or another, the foundation of my family’s home needed to be dug up. My father, who usually did all his own home repairs, set about this massive, exhausting task. 

As he dug away over days and days, the next-door neighbour decided that Dad made the perfect captive audience for the Word of the Lord. He proceeded to hang out at the fence for extended periods over the next several days and preach at Dad, oblivious to Dad’s increasing irritation.

Dad, himself the son of a minister, eventually couldn’t take it any longer and interrupted the sermon.

Dad: “Yes, yes, Mr. [Neighbour], that’s very interesting. But may I remind you of the Gospel according to [Dad made up a fake chapter and verse citation], where Our Lord says, ‘Vex not thy neighbour whilst he toileth.’”

Apparently, the neighbour scurried off to look that one up, and then he didn’t bother Dad again!

My sister and her husband were building a house, and the builders kept telling her that things she wanted were “against the state building code.” [Sister] read that thing front to back and practically memorized it, so she could call it the lie it was.

Another line the builders kept giving them was, “That’ll hurt your resale value.”

Their big issue was that she and her husband had planned to make the house ADA-adaptable (disability accessible), e.g., wider doors, a wider hallway, etc., and they had the architect draw it that way.

As it turned out, when they eventually had to sell their house, they not only sold it immediately, but they got more money for it since it was already ready for a wheelchair, complete with a ramp. She was a cancer survivor and figured that sooner or later she might end up in a wheelchair. As it turned out, her son lost a leg in an accident and lived with them for a while during his recovery.

I’m an electrician, mainly for commercial and industrial jobs. I also frequently shop at a major home improvement and construction chain for tools, supplies for jobs, and miscellaneous things for home — the usual suspects. I’ve been asked for advice more times than I can count over the years about at-home installations while trying to shop, but this was a first.

I was running errands and stopped at a [Chain] I wasn’t very familiar with (while wearing my hi-vis work shirt). I was shopping in the electrical aisle, and I heard from behind me…

Woman: *Ahem* “Um, excuse me.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Am I in your way?”

Woman: “Finally. I’ve been waiting here for five minutes. Show me where I can find the hand tools.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t work here.”

Woman: “Just show me where the tools are.”

Me: “If you look at the signs, you should see where the tool aisles are.”

Woman: “I’m not wandering around this store. Get moving; I’m in a rush.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to finish my sho—”

Woman: “You can finish whatever you’re doing after you help me. The customer comes first.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t wo—”

Woman: “I don’t care if you’re new; just do your job.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

Woman: “Just show me where the tools are!”

Me: “No.”

Woman: “WHAT?!”

Me: “Go find someone who works here, or go ask at the service desk.”

I started to walk away, figuring I’d come back and finish in the aisle after she left.

Woman: “DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME! I’M A CUSTOMER; YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!”

I kept walking.

Woman: “GET BACK HERE!”

I turned the corner and start walking down the other side, and I heard her footsteps. She went in the opposite direction and came around the end to catch up to me.

Woman: “I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU! I WANT YOUR MANAGER! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE OFF THE CLOCK; YOU’RE STILL AT WORK! NOW DO YOUR JOB! GO AND GET ME YOUR MANAGER AND MY TOOL!”

Me: “Lady, back off. I don’t work for [Chain].”

Woman:: “YOU PEOPLE ARE HORRIBLE! I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU CAN’T GET GOOD HELP! WHY AREN’T YOU TRAINED?! NOW GO GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

I turned around and walked away again, and she didn’t follow me. I wandered for a few minutes and then went back to electrical and finished grabbing what I needed.

As I walked up toward the registers, I saw the woman at the service desk, very animated and starting to get loud. She spotted me.

Woman: “THERE HE IS! HE WAS SWEARING AT ME, AND HE TOLD ME THAT WOMEN CAN’T FIX THINGS! YOU! OVER HERE, NOW!”

I walked to the service desk.

Woman: “SO, YOU CAN FOLLOW DIRECTIONS! I EXPECT A DISCOUNT FOR HIS ATTITUDE AND HIS INSULTS!”

I made eye contact with the person behind the desk and rolled my eyes.

Me: “Can you explain to this psycho that I don’t work here?”

Woman: “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! SEE, HE HAS BEEN INSULTING ME! I WANT HIM FIRED RIGHT NOW!”

Me: *To the desk employees* “Sorry, guys, but I’m gonna go check out. Good luck.”

Woman: “WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING!?! I WANT YOUR NAME RIGHT NOW!”

Employee: “Ma’am, he doesn’t work here.”

Woman: “YES, HE DOES! LOOK AT HIM! HE’S WEARING A UNIFORM!”

I walked away, checked out, and left through the lumber entrance/exit. I never did find out what tool she needed.

I need to repair some nail holes in the wall of the apartment where I’ve lived for six years before moving to a house. I go to a home improvement store to get some spackle. 

Me: “I need some spackle and a spackle knife.”

Employee: “Okay. Is your husband coming?”

Me: “What husband?”

The employee turned bright red and apologized profusely. I decided to forgive him, as he admitted his mistake and apologized for it, and he led me to the drywall repair products where he showed me a kit that would do what I needed and gave me his employee discount.