October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Not Quite Feeling This Request

, | Madison, WI, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

(An artistic, elaborately dressed woman wanders in and is standing by the paint samples in a melodramatic stance. I wander over.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: *gives me a withering look and says* “I’m looking for Bittersweet.”

Me: “That doesn’t sound like one of our colors, but I can look it up in the database and see if we can match it.”

Customer: “No… I’m looking for a color that invokes the feeling of bittersweet.”

(I stand dumbfounded for a second.)

Me: “So… is that like an orange or something?”

A Slight Scratch In His Story

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work in a large home improvement store. I am taking a call from a customer in our appliance section.)

Customer: “My toilet is scratched!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir. Did we install it for you?”

Customer: “No, a plumber did. But it was not scratched when he put it in!”

Me: “What do you mean it was not scratched when he put it in?”

Customer: “I cleaned it and then all these scratches showed up!”

Me: “Uhm, what did you clean it with?”

Customer: “Bleach!”

Me: “Well, a lot of brands say not to soak in bleach because it takes off the glaze that helps the bowl stay clean. How long did it soak for?”

Customer: “Overnight!”

Me: “Well, sir, bleach is highly corrosive, and-”

Customer: “I expect a full refund!”

Me: “Sir, if the damage is caused by the customer, we cannot refund.”

Customer: “Yes, you can! It was not scratched when I bought it!”

Me: “That’s the point.”

That Benefit Went Straight Down The Faucet

| Rio Rancho, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Money

(I work at a home improvement store. A customer has picked out a faucet.)

Me: “Great! We have that exact one in stock. While I set up this order, I will have someone go get it from the warehouse for you!”

Customer: “That’s perfect! What do I owe?”

Me: “$103.00. That can be cash, check, or card.”

Customer: *hands me a card*

Me: “Uhm. This is a EBT card.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know.”

Me: “Uhm, food stamps only work on food and necessities. Did you mean to give me a credit or debit?”

Customer: “No, just charge the card I gave you.”

Me: “Uhm, ma’am, I cannot do that. This is a state issued EBT card. It’s not meant to be used for household fixtures, just food and some basic supplies. My computer won’t even accept it if I did enter the information.”

Customer: “I want it charged to that card! That is why I gave you that card!”

Me: “I understand that; however, that is not how these cards work.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because the state issues them for families who cannot afford food, water, formula, or other needs. But it has to be for a need that is basic to supporting life, not things like faucets or even clothes.”

Customer: “But I NEED a new faucet.”

Me: “Well, if you are renting, the owner of the property should be the own who replaces it. If you own your residence, I can ring this up with cash, check, or a bank issued card.”

Customer: “Just swipe the card I gave you!”

Me: “This is a state issued food stamp card. I cannot.”

Customer: “This is discrimination because you think I am poor!”

Me: “Ma’am, I do not judge based on how much money a customer happens to have. However, I can refuse forms of payment that either do not work, will not work, or are illegal to attempt to use.”

Customer: “Illegal? Now you don’t think I am American!”

Me: “What? I said forms of payment that are illegal to use.”

Customer: “You are calling me an illegal!”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot help you. Nor can I sell you this with the payment you offered me. You can either give me a legal, bank issued form of payment or not buy from this store.”

Customer: “How dare you!” *flounces out*

A Heavy Dose Of Misogyny Or Laziness?

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior

(I work as a loader/lot attendant at a popular hardware store. People tend to give me a hard time of it since I’m female. At this point, I’ve just been called to a register by a coworker. They are with a female customer.)

Coworker: “Hey, this customer needs help getting the insulation blower out of her truck.”

Customer: “You mean she’s gonna do this?”

Me: “Yep, I’ve got it. Come on.”

(We go outside and I begin to get all the parts out of her rather tall truck. I’m starting to wonder why she’s not even helping at all, as the customer usually helps me unload. But she stands there glaring at me like I’m a disease. Finally, I come to the heaviest part.)

Me: “Hey, would you mind grabbing the other side of this and helping me lower it onto the cart?”

Customer: *huffs angrily and glares* “I did not want to have to be doing this!”

Me: “I’m sorry…?”

(She lifts it off anyways with my help, but then, suddenly lets go once it’s off the truck. The machine drops and smashes down into my knee, bruising it badly. It’s not on the cart the whole way and the cart is rolling away as I struggle to lift it on the rest of the way.)

Me: “Could you please at least hold the cart still for me?”

(She then gave me one last glare, brushed off her jacket, turned around, got into her truck, and drove off.)

Taking Good Account Of The Plumbing

| Barrhaven, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Home Improvement

(I am working in the plumbing department of a big home improvement store. A customer comes to me on a busy weekend afternoon and asks about how to replace a toilet. I go through the steps. As I do so, he regularly interrupts to challenge what I’m saying.)

Me: “You have to set the toilet down straight to ensure a good seal. Hold it by the sides here and stand like this.”

Customer: “No, that’s not right.”

Me: “Yes, it is, because if you set it down on an angle the wax seal is squished and can’t bounce back.”

Customer: “Hmm.”

(And so on. This goes on for some time until finally he challenges what I say and instead of explaining, I ask how he plans on doing this.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m not doing anything. I’m an accountant; I don’t know anything about plumbing. I’m having someone else do it but I want to be able to challenge them and look like I know what I’m talking about.”

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