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When Someone Else’s Incompetence Becomes Your Problem, Somehow

, , , , , | Right | August 5, 2022

I work for a company that installs insulation into homes. We get a call from a contractor that hires us frequently, asking about insulation that was installed incorrectly into a home they built, and trying to get it fixed. Looking up the address, I see that we quoted the job but didn’t do any work there.

Me: “It looks like we didn’t actually install the insulation in that project.”

Contractor: “I know. Your quote was quite high, so we hired [Competitor] to do it, and they did a really bad job…”

He spends several minutes describing the problem again.

Me: “Okay. We can come out and get you a quote for repairs.”

Contractor: “But I thought there was a guarantee. If we need repairs, you are supposed to do it for free.”

Me: “Yes, we guarantee our own work, and if we had installed something incorrectly, we would fix it for free.”

Contractor: “Well, [Competitor]’s work is also guaranteed, so don’t you have to fix it for free?”

Me: “No, they have to fix it for free. We don’t guarantee work that we don’t do.”

Contractor: “But I don’t want them to do it. They did a really bad job. I want you to do it!”

Me: “We will do it — for a fee. We are happy to come out and have a look and let you know how much that will be.”

After another twenty minutes of this, he finally agreed to have us quote an actual price to do the work. The owner decided to take a little pity on him, as he does do a fair amount of work with us, and the quote ended up being less than $300, which would cover the materials and most of the labour, although we would probably end up losing a little money on it.

After the work was complete and the bill was paid, he emailed us a bill for $4,200! It was for the removal of the damaged areas, the assessment, and the replacement of the finishes. My boss ended up calling him and spending forty minutes explaining to him why we were not responsible for the damages to a house caused by other people doing work poorly.

No good deed goes unpunished.

SOMEONE Is Gonna Put It Away, One Way Or Another

, , , , , , | Working | CREDIT: timmyontools14 | July 23, 2022

A few years ago, I was in a large home improvement store. I had a regular shopping buggy as well as a lumber cart, both filled with materials for whatever remodeling job I was doing at the time. I did have a T-shirt on that matched the aprons worn by employees, but I most definitely did not work there.

As I was going down one of the aisles with both of my carts, an elderly gentleman stopped me.

Man: “Do you work here?”

Me: “I don’t, but I’m happy to help you find what you need.”

We walked a couple of aisles over, leaving my carts in the aisle where we met. As I was explaining the difference between two similar products, another customer came up and was obviously waiting to talk to me. She needed help deciding what kind of doorknob she needed for a storm door, which I gladly helped her pick out.

I was finally able to get back to my carts to finish gathering supplies when an actual employee approached me.

Employee: “Now that you’re done helping customers, do you think you can get all this junk put back on the shelves?”

Me: *Laughing* “No, I’m good.”

The employee got red in the face.

Employee: “You need to put all this crap back or I’ll call the manager.”

At this point, I realized that I was once again being mistaken for an employee.

Me: “Go ahead and call him.”

The employee punched some numbers into his phone and started talking to whoever picked up.

Employee: “The new guy has two carts full of random stuff in aisle [number] and is refusing to put it back on the shelves.”

The manager quickly came to the aisle we were in. I figured at this point everyone could have a good laugh at the misunderstanding. I was wrong!

Manager: “You will take these items and put them back where they belong, or you will be terminated!”

I tried explaining that I didn’t work there but was further verbally abused by the manager.

Manager: “I saw you on the monitors wandering around the store talking to customers when you should’ve been putting all this back where it belongs.”

At this point, I decided I was done with that particular store and just walked out, leaving about $4,000 worth of merchandise sitting on the two carts for someone to put away while loudly telling the manager, “I DON’T WORK HERE!”

Lawyering Up Ain’t Gonna Save You, Buddy

, , , , , | Legal | July 14, 2022

Many years ago, before I got married and had kids, I was renting out my basement as an apartment to one of my good friends. The basement had a full kitchen, a full bathroom, and a washing machine (among other things). My friend notified me immediately if there was a problem and was pretty vigilant about it. I attempted to fix the small things myself, but I needed professionals for larger projects. One such project was his kitchen sink, which had an unstoppable leak at almost every connection.

At the time, my regular plumber had just retired and I hadn’t yet needed a new one, so on his suggestion, I gave the job to a contractor who was one of his oldest friends. The initial survey revealed that the problem was corroded pipes. However, he had to tear up the floor to find the extent of the problem. Combine that with the found problems, and we were already $2000 in — and from what I learned later, that was in fact a good deal for the volume of work. I cut him a check, and he got to work.

The work trapped me in the house for a few days, so on the day our mutual friend had a day off, he agreed to watch the house while they were ripping into the foundation in his bathroom, and I took the opportunity to go grocery shopping for the next week. When I came back, I was greeted by a horrified face from my tenant, who informed me that his friend hadn’t stopped the jackhammer until after he’d smashed through a water pipe, and he hadn’t previously shut off the water. The water damage itself was negligible, but the kitchen sink and washing machine (which weren’t supposed to be affected unless the water was shut off) could no longer get water.

Thankfully, everything above the basement still had water and we could close off the one pipe, so I moved my friend into my guestroom and gave him the guest bathroom until this was resolved; this and friendship were enough to make him not withhold rent, despite him being trapped in the middle of this. However, my now-ex-contractor not only refused to fix this mess without receiving more money, but he also refused to refund my money for this blunder, insisting that what he’d hit was another corroded pipe that would have been replaced anyway. However, the pipe didn’t look corroded to me, so I showed it to my new plumber who confirmed that this pipe was immaculate before someone put a hole in it.

I took this knowledge and got a lawyer.

After dragging his feet with multiple continuances, the contractor and I and our lawyers finally sat down to discuss a deal.

Contractor: “I don’t see why we’re even discussing this. I never even worked on his home!”

My Lawyer: “You’ve billed my client for services already.”

Contractor: “That was for the survey and when we signed the work contract. There was an agreement to work, but I never did more than look.”

His Lawyer: “Not another word, [Contractor].”

Me: “So, who smashed my toilet?”

Contractor: “Not me! I removed it carefully!”

Me: “If you removed my toilet, then you worked on my house.”

Contractor: *Pauses* “Okay, yes, I did that.”

His Lawyer: “Let me handle it from here!”

Contractor: “No, no, let me clarify this. I just got the site ready. I wasn’t the one who caused the damage. I wasn’t even in the state at the time.”

My Lawyer: “Then where were you?”

Contractor: “Upstate at my other house with my wife and kid.”

I later learned that neither of these people existed.

Me: “So, who was in my house?”

Contractor: “One of my guys.”

My Lawyer: “‘One of your guys’? Well, the contract is with you. If you gave the work to someone else, you are still legally responsible for anything that happens.”

Contractor: “But I never signed a contract!”

His Lawyer: “STOP TALKING!”

The two confer for a moment.

His Lawyer: “My client’s willing to settle. He’ll pay $2,000 if you accept.”

Me: “I wanted $2,000 the day he busted my pipe. This is not that day. I have a job you didn’t finish and a new job that’s a direct result of your negligence, and you forced me to get a lawyer to fix this problem. I’ll settle for $12,000.”

Everything I just listed totaled $8,000 in expenses.

Contractor: “That’s over the cap. You can’t sue for that much in this state.”

My Lawyer: “That’s true in small claims court. This is not small claims court. If we go to trial and you lose, I’m certain you’d be paying six figures.”

His Lawyer: “How about $4,000?”

Me: “$12,000.”

I wasn’t dropping my asking price until I heard $8,000. We finally settled at $10,000. Then came the payment plan.

My Lawyer: “What are your client’s assets?”

Contractor: “Just the business.”

Me: “Didn’t you say you have a house upstate? Or rather, another house upstate?”

My Lawyer: “So, we have two houses. Are they paid off?”

Contractor: “‘Paid off’? You’re not taking my houses!”

My Lawyer: “It’ll just be a lien to guarantee payment… unless you decide not to pay, of course.”

Contractor: “BUT THEY’RE MINE! I WORKED HARD TO PAY OFF THOSE MORTGAGES!”

Me: “Which makes them perfect for a lien.”

Contractor: “THEY’RE WORTH MORE THAN THIS COURTHOUSE!”

Me: “So it’d be really stupid not to pay.”

My Lawyer: “Would you rather use an automobile?”

Contractor: “MY CAR?!”

The payment was set up so I got half up-front and the other half in installments with the condition that the whole thing was paid off within six months. Even so, it was like pulling teeth to receive payment. My lawyer notified me of new excuses every month as to why the payment was delayed. We had to repeatedly threaten to notify the police that the contractor was violating a court order and to issue a warrant for his arrest or demand to see his bank records to show someone that wasn’t me had been cashing his checks, at which point the check magically showed up. Sadly, I never got the chance to make that call for his arrest or take a house or car from him. I was always hopeful that there’d be a way to make him really suffer for this nonsense.

And I got my wish.

Once the final payment went through and all the work was done, I got a nasty message on my answering machine from him. I won’t transcribe it because it’s predominantly assertions that my parents weren’t married, that I was a female dog, and that I was suffering from an Oedipus Complex. However, there was some reference to “harassment” and “countersuit” mixed in. My friend and tenant overheard the message and explained.

Friend: “He didn’t read that notice too carefully. I’m suing him for the rent on my apartment, the loss of utilities, and harassment.”

Me: “‘Harassment’?”

Friend: “He called me every day urging me to get you to drop the lawsuit. After the deal, he kept begging for money and demanding I tell you the check was coming.”

Me: “And the rent, too?”

Friend: “It wasn’t your fault my apartment was wrecked.”

My friend won, too. The contractor lost one house when he was unable to pay off the settlement. We last heard that he sold the other and left the state once his business dried up.

RIP To DIY

, , , | Right | July 14, 2022

Customer: “I’m looking to get into a little DIY.”

Me: “I’m sure we can help you with whatever your project is.”

Customer: “I’m looking to retile my roof, move my kitchen to the back of the house, turn the attic into a bedroom, and install underfloor heating.”

Me: “My goodness, all that?!”

Customer: “Yes, when can you start?”

Me: “Start? Well, I can show you where we sell certain supplies, and—”

Customer: “No, when can you start with the DIY? I need my house fixed up by the end of the month.”

Me: “Sir, you would need to talk to a contractor if you’re looking for someone to manage all those projects. We’re just a home improvement store.

Customer: “Exactly! You sell DIY! You need to come to my house and start all those things.”

Me: “Sir, do you know what ‘DIY’ actually means?”

How Dare You Need To Eat!

, , , , , | Right | July 13, 2022

This is during the mask mandate. I’m a cashier and I notice I start to get a bit shaky and hungry. I buy chips to eat while I do not have customers in my line. I’m eating and have my mask down while I do, because I can’t eat through a mask. A male customer comes up and shoves the large “please wear a mask” sign into my face and walks off. About ten minutes later:

Manager: “I just had a customer complain that you weren’t wearing your mask.”

Me: “Did they mention I was eating? You can check the cameras. My blood sugar dropped.”

Manager: “He did. You’re not in any trouble at all. Just giving a heads-up it happened, and he walked out saying he’s never shopping here again.” *Walks away*

How much of a jerk do you have to be over someone eating potato chips for their blood sugar and complain I wasn’t wearing a mask at the time? Sorry I don’t put holes in my mask that’s meant to protect me to eat or drink.