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    There’s A Reason She Is Always Running Off

    | Bendigo, VIC, Australia | Family & Kids

    (Whilst shopping in a large hardware store, I find a three-year-old girl who has lost her mother.)

    Me: “Hi there, let me help you find your mother.”

    Child: *in tears* “No!”

    (The child then runs off crying out for her mother. I don’t run after her as it would have upset her more. Instead, I head towards the help desk to let the staff know to put out an announcement. As I am walking there, the child finds her mother, and I turn to walk towards them. The mother starts screaming at the child about how she is supposed to stay with her and not run off.)

    Me: “Oh, good, you found your mum.”

    (The mother turns to me without thanking me for helping, and speaks in an angry tone.)

    Mum: “She does this all the time when we come here; she always runs off. You should have just ignored her.”

    Me: *shocked* “You’re welcome; glad she got back safe.”

    Ready To Bust His Pipes

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Bigotry, Home Improvement, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a fairly petite, young looking woman, who grew up with three brothers, and a single father. I’m one of the better employees for plumbing help, because my dad made me learn.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store]; what’s the project today?”

    Customer: “My toilet leaks; I need one of your guys to help.”

    Me: “Let’s head to plumbing. Where is the leak from?”

    Customer: “I want one of the guys, and not some idiot girl.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll radio one of them.”

    (A coworker responds, and I turn the customer over and go back to restocking. A few minutes later, the customer storms up.)

    Customer: “This is the stupidest hardware store! Where’s your manager?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “I want your manager!”

    Me: “They’ll be in tomorrow morning.”

    (The customer stomps out. The next day, I’m in plumbing. I am helping one of our regular contractors, when yesterday’s cranky customer returns.)

    Customer: “I want your manager!”

    (The cashier radio calls them, and the owner actually responds first.)

    Owner: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “You have idiots working here! They can’t help in plumbing!”

    (The owner gestures to me.)

    Owner: “Sir, she is one of our plumbing experts, and was on last night.”

    Customer: “I know that no idiot girl can help!”

    (The contractor walks up.)

    Contractor: “Watch your mouth! She is the best help you can get without calling a professional!”

    Customer: “NO! Girls should be cashiers, and flirt with customers!”

    Owner: “Sir, you’ll have to leave.”

    Customer: “You can’t make me!”

    Me: “Sir. I have two police officer brothers, a correctional officer father, a jujitsu trainer brother, and my martial arts training. You are leaving. By your choice or by force.”

    (For a few moments, the customer contemplates if it’s worth the fight, but ultimately decides against it.)

    Contractor: “Man, you ruin all my fun by giving him a choice!”

    Owner: “Don’t encourage her. She isn’t in the gym, so she can’t go dislocating elbows here.”

    Contractor: “Now both of you are ruining my fun!” *leaves*

    Saved From Traffic, Not Trafficking

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in the parking lot, helping customers load their vehicles and push carts back to where they belong. I am the only one out on the lot at the moment. A boy runs out into the lot next to me, into the middle of the road.)

    Boy: “Die bug!”

    (I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. When I look, there’s a car driving very fast through the lot. It is heading straight for the boy.)

    Me: “Oh, crap!”

    (I run into the road, pick up the child, and dive out of the way. I use my body as a cushion for him. My back hits a rack of plants, knocking them over, and sending pain through my back. The boy’s mother comes rushing over.)

    Boy’s Mother: “Oh, my God! WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CHILD!?”

    Me: “First of all, I’m okay, and so is he. Second of all, he just about got ran over.”

    (I painfully stand up, and let the child go to his mother, who clings to her.)

    Boy’s Mother: “I want to see your manager now!”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    (I go and find my manager, and explain to her what happened. The manager understands and goes to the service desk where the boy and his mother now wait. I follow behind and listen in.)

    Manager: “So, I hear you have a problem with one of my employees?”

    Boy’s Mother: “You’re d*** right I do! He tried to steal my baby!”

    Manager: “I assure you that’s not what happened. From what my employee has told me, he saw the child run into the street, chasing a bug. He noticed a car driving at unsafe speeds through the parking lot at the child.”

    Boy’s Mother: “That’s what he wants you to think!! I saw no car!”

    Manager: “What happened when you noticed my employee with your child?”

    Boy’s Mother: “He knocked over the plant racks out front with his back!”

    Manager: “And he did this while holding your child?”

    Boy’s Mother: “YES! You get it!”

    Manager: “Not quite. Follow me with this please. Why would my employee do that when he has the most chance of getting caught? It would draw a lot of attention to himself.”

    Boy’s Mother: “He… he was… I don’t know.”

    Manager: “The only reason I could think of him doing that is if he had to get out of the way of something fast. Or, if your child was in danger of being hit by a car going 40 miles per hour through the parking lot.”

    Boy’s Mother: “Well maybe you should control the cars speeding through your lot more! Hmph!”

    (She takes her son and walks out in a huff. Later on, at the end of my shift, the mother and her son approach me on the way out.)

    Boy’s Mother: “There you are! I’ve been looking for you!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I promise you; I wasn’t trying to kidnap your child!”

    Boy’s Mother: “I know that. But my son has something to say to you.”

    Boy: “Thank you for saving my life.”

    (He hands me a thank you card.)

    Me: “No problem, little man. Promise me something?”

    Boy: “Okay?”

    Me: “Don’t go playing in the street. When you go somewhere, stay next to your mom. That’s the safest place you can be. Can you do that?”

    Boy: “I promise!”

    Boy’s Mother: “Thank you again. I can’t thank you enough. I also came back to talk to your manager. Are you on lunch?”

    Me: “I’m off work now, actually.”

    Boy’s Mother: “Good, then I can make it a surprise!”

    (The mother walks into the store. I wonder what she means, but I figure I’ll find out the next day, and go home. The next day, I open up the store, and find out from my manager that someone gave me a glowing review of my work ethics!)

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2

    | Memphis TN, USA | Bigotry, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m an employee in a hardware store. I’m helping a young married couple. The wife is wearing a flattering, but form-fitting top. An old couple standing nearby is complaining loudly.)

    Old Lady: “Young people today are so lazy! That’s why they’ve all gotten fat; they’re sitting around playing video games! And it makes it worse when they wear clothes that don’t fit! People who are old enough to know better shouldn’t wear clothes that are too tight; they make them look fatter! That girl right there; look at her! You can see her stomach pooch!”

    (The young wife places her hand over her belly.)

    Young Wife: “I’m… PREGNANT.”

    Old Lady: “I… I, um… Well, I wasn’t talking… Let’s go, honey!”

    (She grabs her husband, and they quickly leave.)

    Young Husband: “Just to confirm; we’re not pregnant, right?”

    Young Wife: “Nope, but that’s what the old b**** gets for talking s*** about strangers in public.”

    Related:
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

    The Tooth Hurts

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (On my way out of the store, I spot an employee who is supposed to be greeting new customers. He is slumped over his ‘Welcome’ stand, half asleep.)

    Me: “C’mon buddy, it’s not that bad. The day is almost over.”

    Employee: “Yeah, but I really need a coffee. I’m so tired, man.”

    (I go to the in-store cafe and buy the guy a coffee. An hour later, I return to the shop, having forgotten some items. I spot the same employee with a bandage around his jaw.)

    Me: “What happened, buddy?”

    Employee: *not recognizing me* “Some guy bought me coffee. I have really sensitive teeth, so now I got major toothache.”

    (Guess I didn’t make his day any better!)

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