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    Saved From Traffic, Not Trafficking

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in the parking lot, helping customers load their vehicles and push carts back to where they belong. I am the only one out on the lot at the moment. A boy runs out into the lot next to me, into the middle of the road.)

    Boy: “Die bug!”

    (I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. When I look, there’s a car driving very fast through the lot. It is heading straight for the boy.)

    Me: “Oh, crap!”

    (I run into the road, pick up the child, and dive out of the way. I use my body as a cushion for him. My back hits a rack of plants, knocking them over, and sending pain through my back. The boy’s mother comes rushing over.)

    Boy’s Mother: “Oh, my God! WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CHILD!?”

    Me: “First of all, I’m okay, and so is he. Second of all, he just about got ran over.”

    (I painfully stand up, and let the child go to his mother, who clings to her.)

    Boy’s Mother: “I want to see your manager now!”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    (I go and find my manager, and explain to her what happened. The manager understands and goes to the service desk where the boy and his mother now wait. I follow behind and listen in.)

    Manager: “So, I hear you have a problem with one of my employees?”

    Boy’s Mother: “You’re d*** right I do! He tried to steal my baby!”

    Manager: “I assure you that’s not what happened. From what my employee has told me, he saw the child run into the street, chasing a bug. He noticed a car driving at unsafe speeds through the parking lot at the child.”

    Boy’s Mother: “That’s what he wants you to think!! I saw no car!”

    Manager: “What happened when you noticed my employee with your child?”

    Boy’s Mother: “He knocked over the plant racks out front with his back!”

    Manager: “And he did this while holding your child?”

    Boy’s Mother: “YES! You get it!”

    Manager: “Not quite. Follow me with this please. Why would my employee do that when he has the most chance of getting caught? It would draw a lot of attention to himself.”

    Boy’s Mother: “He… he was… I don’t know.”

    Manager: “The only reason I could think of him doing that is if he had to get out of the way of something fast. Or, if your child was in danger of being hit by a car going 40 miles per hour through the parking lot.”

    Boy’s Mother: “Well maybe you should control the cars speeding through your lot more! Hmph!”

    (She takes her son and walks out in a huff. Later on, at the end of my shift, the mother and her son approach me on the way out.)

    Boy’s Mother: “There you are! I’ve been looking for you!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I promise you; I wasn’t trying to kidnap your child!”

    Boy’s Mother: “I know that. But my son has something to say to you.”

    Boy: “Thank you for saving my life.”

    (He hands me a thank you card.)

    Me: “No problem, little man. Promise me something?”

    Boy: “Okay?”

    Me: “Don’t go playing in the street. When you go somewhere, stay next to your mom. That’s the safest place you can be. Can you do that?”

    Boy: “I promise!”

    Boy’s Mother: “Thank you again. I can’t thank you enough. I also came back to talk to your manager. Are you on lunch?”

    Me: “I’m off work now, actually.”

    Boy’s Mother: “Good, then I can make it a surprise!”

    (The mother walks into the store. I wonder what she means, but I figure I’ll find out the next day, and go home. The next day, I open up the store, and find out from my manager that someone gave me a glowing review of my work ethics!)

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2

    | Memphis TN, USA | Bigotry, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I’m an employee in a hardware store. I’m helping a young married couple. The wife is wearing a flattering, but form-fitting top. An old couple standing nearby is complaining loudly.)

    Old Lady: “Young people today are so lazy! That’s why they’ve all gotten fat; they’re sitting around playing video games! And it makes it worse when they wear clothes that don’t fit! People who are old enough to know better shouldn’t wear clothes that are too tight; they make them look fatter! That girl right there; look at her! You can see her stomach pooch!”

    (The young wife places her hand over her belly.)

    Young Wife: “I’m… PREGNANT.”

    Old Lady: “I… I, um… Well, I wasn’t talking… Let’s go, honey!”

    (She grabs her husband, and they quickly leave.)

    Young Husband: “Just to confirm; we’re not pregnant, right?”

    Young Wife: “Nope, but that’s what the old b**** gets for talking s*** about strangers in public.”

    Related:
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

    The Tooth Hurts

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (On my way out of the store, I spot an employee who is supposed to be greeting new customers. He is slumped over his ‘Welcome’ stand, half asleep.)

    Me: “C’mon buddy, it’s not that bad. The day is almost over.”

    Employee: “Yeah, but I really need a coffee. I’m so tired, man.”

    (I go to the in-store cafe and buy the guy a coffee. An hour later, I return to the shop, having forgotten some items. I spot the same employee with a bandage around his jaw.)

    Me: “What happened, buddy?”

    Employee: *not recognizing me* “Some guy bought me coffee. I have really sensitive teeth, so now I got major toothache.”

    (Guess I didn’t make his day any better!)

    Saw Through His Sexism

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Bigotry, Top

    (I am a female woodworking student, shopping for a specific kind of saw in a hardware store. There’s only one on the shelf, so I grab it and start to move towards the register.)

    Customer: “You can’t have this saw.”

    Me: “And why not?”

    Customer: “Because I need it!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that, but I picked it up first when you weren’t even near it. They’ll probably order some soon.”

    Customer: “Give it to me, I really need it.”

    Me: “As much as I do. I’m sorry, sir, but it’s mine.”

    Customer: “I clearly need it more than you; you’re a woman! You can’t have any use for a saw!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m doing woodworking and I need this saw for an order a client placed with me. I am not going to give it to you and delay my client’s order.”

    Customer: *sheepishly* “Oh, I’m sorry, I couldn’t know… If I knew you were a woodworker, I wouldn’t have said that.”

    Me: “You shouldn’t make sexist comments like that, regardless of what field I work. Every woman is allowed to buy a saw… not only woodworkers.”

    Two Ap-pee-sements For The Price Of (Number) One

    | OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’ve gone to lunch break about an hour before. A kid is with his mom in the store. I tend to make a note of everyone I see in the store, and greet them as I pass, just out of habit. After lunch, the kid comes up to me.)

    Kid: “Where’s your bathroom?”

    (I look around and find his mother is not with him, or anywhere in sight. Seeing as I can’t make him wait, I decide to take him.)

    Me: “Follow me, please…”

    (On the way I keep an eye out for the mother, but I don’t find her. When we reach the bathroom, I stand outside the door so I can make sure he’s okay. Just as he is finishing up, his mother finally shows up and looks frantic.)

    Mother: “Is my son in there?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. He’ll be out in just a moment.”

    (At this point the kid runs out and hugs his mother.)

    Mother: *to child* “I’m going to tie you up from now on. You gave me a heart attack!” *to me* “Thank you so much.”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’m glad I could help. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping at [store]!”


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