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    No Short Cuts In Private School

    | Adelaide, Australia | Uncategorized

    (I am having my hair done and over hearing a conversation between a mother, her daughter and the hairdresser.)

    Hairdresser: “Oh dear…sweetie.”

    Child: “What is it?”

    Hairdresser: “I’m afraid I can’t cut your hair today.” *to the mother* “Excuse me ma’am?”

    (The mother ignores the hairdresser and talks on her mobile phone.)

    Hairdresser: “Excuse me.”

    (Mother continues to ignore her.)

    Hairdresser: “Ma’am!”

    Mother: “What!? Can’t you see I am on the phone?”

    Hairdresser: “I am sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t cut your daughter’s hair.”

    Mother: “What do you mean you can’t cut my daughter’s hair?”

    Hairdresser: “I’m very sorry, but it is against store policy to cut anybody’s hair if they have lice.”

    Mother: “Lice!? She can’t have lice! She goes to a private school!”

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2

    | New Jersey, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

    Caller: “Do you have a stylist who specializes in blonde hair?”

    Me: “We have several expert colorists, yes. Would you like to make an appointment?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’m not looking for a colorist! Just someone who knows how to cut blonde hair.”

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little

    A Serious Case Of Old-Timers

    | Halifax, NS, Canada | Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

    (I am cutting the hair of an 86 year old man. He asks if I’m from the area, and I tell him I live in an apartment building near by.)

    Customer: “So you live there with your husband?”

    Me: “I live there with my boyfriend and my best friend.”

    Customer: “You live with your boyfriend?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: “And you’re not married?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Customer: “But you live together?”

    Me: “Right.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard of that before.”

    All Style, No Substance

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Funny Names, Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hair Salon]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was in there last week and I got my hair done by [stylist].”

    Me: “Okay. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “No, I think it looks great.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m a little confused. Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Well, I’d like to come back in and have it re-done.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I thought you said you liked it. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Every time [stylist] does my hair my friends all tell me how great it looks, this time no one has even noticed I got it done. I’d like to come back in and have it re-done so people will notice it.”

    Me: “Well, [stylist] is very busy this week. I’m not sure if he will be able to get you in.”

    Customer: “But what am I supposed to do?!”

    (By this time I had looked up her name from the caller ID and found the day she came in 6 days prior.)

    Me: “I was here last Tuesday and I remember when you left, your hair looked amazing!”

    Customer: “Oh really? Great! Tell [stylist] I’ll see him for my next appointment in 7 weeks, and I want the color he did this time. I just love it!”

    Blind As A Bat Out Of Hell

    | Norway | Uncategorized

    (One day, a lady walked into our hair salon and said she had an appointment. We looked through the client list, but couldn’t find it.)

    Me: “Sorry, but I can’t find your appointment here. Are you sure it was today?”

    Customer: “Of course! I demand an appointment now!”

    Me: “Well, I’m really sorry. I can’t find you on the system. We’re booked out today, but I can put up a new appointment for you if you want.”

    Customer: “This is bull! I booked an appointment a long time ago. Give me an appointment now, or I’ll call the police!”

    Me: “Well what were you going to do? Maybe I can fit you in between two other clients.”

    Customer: “I was going to get my eyes checked and get new glasses!”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, the optical store is next door.”

    Customer: “Uh… well…” *gives me a dirty look and leaves*