Watching Your Back While Working Your Lats

| Toronto, ON Canada | Uncategorized

(This gentleman regularly comes to the gym and seems a little bit high-strung, but was always normal before.)

Me: “Good morning, sir, how are you today?”

Customer: “Not very good.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir.”

Customer: *suddenly intense* “Have you seen any NAZIS lately?”

Me: “…uh…no?”

Customer: “They’re EVERYWHERE.”

Me: “Oh. Well…I certainly haven’t seen any Nazis lately, sir.”

Customer: “Good! But they’re everywhere. You gotta watch out for them! *leaves to go work out*

Brawn Over Brains

| Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

(One day at the fitness club I manage, I am called to the front desk of our gym to answer a question for a member.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [fitness club]. Can I help you?”

Gym member: “Yes, I was wondering if you can teach me to do what they are doing?”

(The customer gestures to our pool, which has been emptied due to a crack and has several repairmen on the floor trying to fix it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Teach you to do what?”

Gym member: “To walk on the bottom of the pool like that.”

Me: “Sir, those gentlemen are repairmen. They are fixing a crack in the pool floor.”

Gym member: “Oh, so you have to be a repairman to learn how to walk underwater like that?!”

If At First You Don’t Survive…

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Do you guys offer swimming lessons there?”

Me: “Yes we do; our next session starts in 2 weeks.”

Caller: “Do they teach you how to swim in those classes?”

Me: “Um, yes… they’re swimming lessons.”

Caller: “Okay, because I drowned last time I tried to take them.”

Me: “…I’m sorry.”

Taking “No Pain, No Gain” Too Far

| Columbia, MD, USA | Uncategorized

(The power generator for the gym had a moderate fire, effectively shutting off all of the power inside. Because the PA system is dead, the employees sweep the gym and escort all of the members outside.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we need to evacuate. There’s been a minor emergency.”

Gym member: “What? Why?”

Me: “There’s been an emergency. Everyone has to leave.”

Gym member: “I need to finish this set! I’ll be out in a minute! ”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll just tell the fire to wait for you, then. ”

(Meanwhile, firetrucks are approaching the building, and the sirens can be clearly heard.)

Gym member: “This is ridiculous! I’m gonna talk to management! Where are they?!”

Me: “Outside, because there’s a fire.”

Gym member: “… let me get my water.”

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