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  • Forget You, And Forget Me Too

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a gym and recreational facility that requires a membership.)

    Customer: “Hi, I have a question about my membership payment.”

    Me: “Okay, are you on the annual or quarterly payment system.”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “On the bills you get from us, is it for $350 or $1400?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Okay, if you can give me your name and phone number, I can make sure our billing person looks up your payment and then contacts you.”

    Customer: “I don’t know my phone number…”

    Not If You’re Tim Burton

    | Queens, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    (It is 3 weeks before Halloween. A customer walks into the gym and points at some of our decorations we’ve .)

    Member: *rudely* “What is all this for?”

    Me: “They’re our Halloween decorations.”

    Member: “Oh, okay. Because I was going to say, it’s a little early for Christmas decorations.”

    (The Christmas decorations he was referring to? Cobwebs and jack-o-lantern lights.)

    That’s A Wrap On The Rap

    | Norway | Top

    (I am a receptionist at a local gym. We use radio instead of CDs–normally hip-hop/pop music radio channels. An elderly gentleman, probably in his 80s, walks up to the reception with a kind smile. He is the only member working out at this early hour.)

    Customer: “Young man, do you mind changing the radio channel?”

    Me: “No, of course not. What kind of music would you like to listen to?”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t really care. I’m just tired of being told to f*** my deceased mother.”

    Downgraded Membership

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

    (Note: I’m 19 and go to college.)

    Customer: “Oh, I think you have class with my daughter, Kayla.”

    Me: “I don’t think I know her. What year is she?”

    Customer: “10th.”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Customer: “10th grade.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m in college.”

    Customer: “Sure you are, sweetie.” *winks*

    New Years Resolution: Get A Brain

    | Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “What are your hours for New Years?”

    Me: “We will be closing at 4pm on New Year’s Eve.”

    Customer: “Do you have something with those times on it?”

    Me: “If you go over to the bulletin board by the door there is a sign with the hours.”

    Customer: “This sign says December 31, but nothing about New Year’s Eve!”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, New Year’s Eve is December 31.”

    Customer: “That’s not right! I asked for the hours on New Year’s Eve, and now you’re trying to trick me by giving me the hours for December 31!”

    Me: “No, New Year’s Eve is just the name of the holiday that occurs on December 31.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “Here, look at the calendar. See, if you look at December 31, it says ‘Holiday: New Year’s Eve’.”

    Customer: “What is this? I don’t want any part of your liberal anti-holiday conspiracy!”

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