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    Quite A Climb To Get To The Answer

    | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a climbing gym. We were closed for a week to do yearly renovations.)

    Customer: *walks up, pulls on locked door*

    Customer: *looks inside, sees climbing walls being painted*

    Customer: *looks at sign on door, which explains reason for closure*

    Customer: *looks inside again*

    Customer: *pulls out cell phone, calls our landline*

    Customer: “Hey, are you guys open?”

    Bad Things Come To Those Who Wait

    | Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Crazy Requests

    (Our facility offers a cultural swim for women who don’t swim with men. We are the only facility in the city that offers this. We only have 12 spots for adults and it usually fills a month ahead. This call takes place one week before.)

    Me: “Hello, [Gym]. [My Name] speaking.”

    Caller: “Do you still offer cultural swim?”

    Me: “Yes, we do, but I’m sorry. It is full for this session.”

    (Caller hangs up abruptly. Less than two minutes later, the same number appears on my phone.)

    Me: “Hello, [Gym].  [My Name] speaking.”

    Caller: “I am wondering when your cultural swim starts.”

    Me: “Are you already registered?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but our adult class is full. We do have one spot left in our six and under class.”

    Caller: “Already? Can’t you fit one more in?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the class has been full for a month. I can put you on our wait list.”

    Caller: “Can’t you add one more?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. It’s a pre-programmed system and once a class is full, registration locks.”

    Caller: “Can’t you override it?”

    Me: *getting a little annoyed* “I’m sorry. That’s not how our system works.”

    Caller: “Why can’t the manager override it?”

    (This continues three or four more times.)

    Me: “I’m sorry but as I’ve explained the class is full and registration is locked. I can put you on a wait list, or you can try registering in the fall.”

    Caller: “Well, I guess put me on a wait list. There is still a week. Someone will probably drop out.”

    Me: *takes breath* “Okay, I can put you on a wait list—”

    Caller: “So, you’ll call me when someone drops out?”

    Me: “Well, there are four names ahead of you.”

    Caller: “There’s still a week. People will drop out.”

    (Because this class is so in demand people rarely drop out. I put her on the wait list anyway.)

    Caller: “Call me when there’s a spot for me.” *hangs up*

    Didn’t Quite Hit The Nail On The Head

    | IN, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I’m working in the child-watch section of the gym, where people leave their kids while they go work out. Normally it’s not too bad, but today it is just me and one other person and we have three kids less than a year old in addition to other kids. After a while, I finally manage to get two of them to sleep and some of the older kids come over to watch them.)

    Girl: “Her nails are so little and cute. We’d need just a drop of nail polish to color them. Can we paint her nails?”

    (I am stunned so I blurt the first thing that comes to mind.)

    Me: “No modifications made to the baby without her parent present.”

    Girl: “Huh?”

    Me: “No, you can’t paint her nails.”

    To Give Credit Where It Is Due

    | Lancaster, CA, USA | Health & Body, Money, Top

    (A gym member comes to the front sales desk and speaks with my coworker.)

    Member: “I received a notice in the mail that there was an issue with my monthly billing. Could you help me figure this out?”

    Coworker: “No problem.”

    (My coworker proceeds to look over the member’s record in the computer.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, it appears that the credit card on file is no longer valid. That has caused your payments to be rejected.”

    Member: “I don’t understand how that’s possible. Is this the card you have on file?”

    (The member hands my coworker her credit card.)

    Coworker: “No, ma’am. We have a different card number on file. Did you recently receive a new card from your credit card company?”

    Member: “Yes, this is it. I don’t understand why they always have to change the card number and screw up all my bills like this.”

    Coworker: “I know it can be quite frustrating, but don’t worry. I will take care of this for you, and have you back to normal in no time.”

    (My coworker enters her new card number into the computer, takes the member’s past due payment, and hands her a receipt. The member then gathers her belongings and exits the building. No more than two minutes later, I see the same member coming back to the front desk with her receipt in hand. From previous experience, I know that this generally means the customer is upset about what they see on the receipt, and wants to yell at us.)

    Me: “Uh oh, she’s back; brace yourself.”

    (The member walks up to my coworker, and I wait for her to begin complaining.)

    Coworker: “Hello again, ma’am. Is there something else I can help you with?”

    Member: “Oh no, dear. I was half way to my car, when I realized I forgot to say thank you for all your help. So thank you, and I am so sorry for my lack of manners.”

    Coworker: “It was my pleasure, ma’am. Have a wonderful day.”

    Me: *dumbfounded*

    His Opinion Carries No Weights

    | KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My friend and I are both overweight, so we decide to start going to the gym to lose weight and get in shape for the first time in our lives. She is a bit self-conscious and is hesitant to go at first because she is afraid others will stare. After a couple of weeks, she stops worrying because most people at our gym go about their own business. We’d never had a problem until one day, when she is jogging on the treadmill.)

    Rude Member: “Hey, fat b****! Why don’t you get off the treadmill before you break it?”

    My Friend: *stops jogging* “What?”

    Rude Member: “Get the f*** off the treadmill! Your fat a** is going to break it! Let someone who weighs less than Shamu use it! Just go away and take up space at [fast food restaurant], where you belong.”

    (My friend, looking like she’s about to cry, steps off the machine.)

    Rude Member: “You fatties are a waste of space! You just eat everything in sight and lounge about, getting fatter, and then you complain about your weight. Why don’t you ever do something about it?”

    My Friend: “Excuse me?! You just told me to get my fat a** off of a treadmill, where I was exercising, and go to [fast food restaurant]. Then you have the audacity to tell me that I only sit around eating and not doing anything to lose weight? Get the h*** out of my face, you f***ing jerk!” *gets back on her treadmill and resumes jogging*

    Rude Member: “I hope they charge you double when you break the machines, you cow!” *stomps away*

    (Later, I saw the manager tearing up the rude member’s gym membership right in front of him. He had been informed of the whole incident by several other members!)


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