Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • De-Engineering Stereotypes
    (1,811 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    My Fellow Americans, You Are Crazy

    | New Hampshire, USA |

    Me: “That will be $**.**”

    Customer: “Why’d your prices go up?”

    Me: “Well, the cigarette tax just just went up.”

    Customer: “This sounds illegal.”

    Me: “The state tax on cigarettes just went up. We don’t have control over that.”

    Customer: “I know the President of the United States. ¬†I think I’m gonna give him a call.”

    Me: “Okay… have a nice day.”

    Cheapskates: FAIL

    | New Brunswick, Canada |

    Customer: “Hey, can I get these rolls at a discount?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry sir, it’s only 6:00. We don’t discount the bags until right before close.”

    Customer: “Well, the girl last night let me do it!”

    Me: “Sir, I was working last night, and no, I did not.”

    Customer: “Alright, it was the night before! That girl!”

    Me: “Richard?”

    Customer: *slinks away*

    Related:
    Guilt Trip: FAIL
    Impersonating Your Boss: FAIL

    Ask A Stupid Question, Part 4

    | Capitol Region, NY, USA |

    Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

    Me: “Nine.”

    Customer: “… o’clock?”

    Me: “No… feet. Nine feet.”

    Related:
    Ask A Stupid Question, Part 3
    Ask A Stupid Question, Part 2
    Ask A Stupid Question
    Today, All My Questions Shall Be Stupid

    Welcome To Retail, Part 2

    | South Carolina, USA |

    (It’s my first day on the job. I just finished scanning all of a customer’s groceries and given her the total when she holds up a roll of paper towels. She hadn’t put them on the conveyor belt.)

    Customer: “Why didn’t you ring this up?”

    Me: “Oh. You didn’t put it down on the conveyor belt. I’ll add it to your–”

    Customer: “Why is it my fault? You should have rung it up the first time!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you didn’t–”

    Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager. ”

    (I call my manager over.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Yeah, she didn’t ring this up.” *holds up paper towels*

    Manager: “Ma’am, did you put it on the conveyour belt?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Manager: “Then how could she ring it up?”

    Customer: “By sliding it across the beepy thingy, duh!”

    Manager: “How could she if you hadn’t put it down?”

    Customer: “… I don’t know. She just should have!”

    Manager: “Well, then why don’t I take that and we’ll ring that up for you right away.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Manager: “Why not, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to pay for them.”

    Manager: “Okay, ma’am. I can return them to the aisle for you.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Manager: “What?”

    Customer: “I still want them, I just don’t wanna pay. Why do you think I didn’t put them down on the move-belt thing? You gotta give them to me for free now, because I had to call you over.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “I’m taking them.”

    Manager: “That’s theft, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *slams paper towels on conveyor belt*

    (She eventually pays, but not before flipping us the bird. How nice for my first day.)

    Related:
    Welcome To Retail

    Grannies: Gotta Love ‘Em

    | West Texas, USA | Top

    (A new employee informs me that she spotted a little boy sneaking some candy in his pants. I confront the boy and an older woman about it.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Hey, kiddo, what’s in your pocket?”

    Boy: “Nothing!”

    Granny: “Oh, h***, again?! Boy, if you don’t put that d***ed candy back, that lady gonna call the po-po on you! And I ain’t gonna stop her none.”

    (The boy, crying, hands me 2 candy bars and a handful of suckers. I thank the lady, and get back to work. A few minutes later, the boy’s mother comes up to me.)

    Mama: “Is that the b****?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Mama: “Aint’ talking to you.”

    Boy: “Yes, mama.”

    Mama: “Girl, you being rude to my son?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Mama: “So why you take away his candy?”

    Me: “Because it wasn’t paid for.”

    Mama: “Says who? I got him that candy!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s at least 100 degrees outside, and your boy had unmelted chocolate in his pocket. He didn’t bring that in with him. Besides, he was seen taking the candy off the shelf.”

    Mama: “What? Who said that?” *turns to the other cashiers* “Which one of you a**holes told on my boy?”

    Me: “Excuse me, but that’s not important.”

    Mama: “What’s your point, then?!”

    Me: “The point is, your boy was caught stealing.”

    Mama: “Forget about the d***ed candy, you nosy b****! Ain’t none of your business!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son was spotted shoplifting, which is a crime. You’re lucky I don’t report him.”

    Mama: “You stupid b****! I don’t give a flying f*** about the candy!”

    (She raises her hands as if to hit me.)

    Me, to a coworker: “Call the manager, he should be in by now.”

    (Just then, Granny appears out of nowhere and smacks her daughter with her handbag.)

    Granny: “WHAT THE H*** YOU DOING, GIRL?” *continues to smack and berate her daughter* “Upsetting people like that! No common sense! S***! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!”

    Mama: “But, Ma–”

    Granny: “SHUT YOUR MOUTH GIRL! GET IN THE D***ED CAR!” *turns to me* “I’m so sorry about that. She crazy, I swear to God. She’ll never come back in here, I promise.”

    Me: “…”

    Granny, to daughter: “CAN’T TAKE YOUR CRAZY A** NOWHERE! S***!”

    (She walks out like nothing happened, and true to her word, I’ve not seen that lady since.)

    Related:
    Dads: Gotta Love ‘Em

    Page 99/108First...979899100101...Last