July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Compared To Some Customers, Yes

| O'Fallon, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is using the self checkout. Her total is $1.52.)

Customer: “I still owe 52 cents, but all I have is a $10 bill.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I put a dollar bill in, but I still owe 52 cents and all I have is a $10 bill.”

Me: “That’s fine. You can just put the ten in and it will give you the difference back.”

Customer: “Really? The machine is that smart?”

You Got The Wrong(est) Item

| Redlands, CA, USA | Top

(A mother approaches me with her daughter.)

Customer: “I’m hosting some of my daughters friends for the night and I couldn’t find your condoms.” *puts her hand on her daughter’s head* “Lucy is turning 13.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know, condoms! Ketchup and mustard. We’re having a BBQ. It’s simple. Where are they?”

Me: “Oh! Condiments.”

Customer: “Yes, condoms. Where are they?”

Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

On Sale: Humble Pie

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, how are you today? I see you have picked out a lot of our sale items today.”

Customer: “Yes I did! I think these sales are great!”

(I smile as I continue ringing in her items.)

Customer: “Um, this cereal is $1.99, not $2.99.”

Me: “It says right here that this cereal is $2.99. You must just be mistaken with another brand. It can get pretty confusing sometimes.”

Customer: “No, that cereal is $1.99! You’re wrong! I know it is, I saw it like that on the shelf!”

Me: “My apologies, the sign must be for another product. I will call someone to go check–”

Customer: “No! The sign said that this cereal is 1.99! I will go and get it myself for you then!”

Me: “It’s alright, I can just get one of our employees to go and check that for you, there is no need–”

Customer: “I WILL SHOW YOU I AM RIGHT!”

(The customer storms away, leaving me at the speedy checkout with a line of 10 people. She soon returns looking flustered.)

Customer: “Debit, please.”

Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

| Bethesda, MD, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you, sir?”

Customer: “Uh, no, I don’t. Do I not get a discount?”

Me: “Of course you still can! What’s your phone number?”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “Seventeen.”

Customer: “You’re not even legal! I can’t do that.”

Me: “Uh, no, sir. I need it to look up for your discount.”

Customer: “Oh…” *tells me his phone number* “…but don’t call me after 5. That’s when my wife gets home.”

Even Rabbits Go Through Bad Patches

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Where can I find your carrot tops?”

Me: “We don’t sell carrot tops, but you can buy the whole carrot.”

Customer: “But I need to feed my rabbit her carrot tops!”

Me: “If people buy carrots would you like me to ask them if they’d like their carrot tops cut off and I can save them for you?”

Customer: “Oh that’d be lovely! I’ll come back next week after her therapy session. Her therapist thinks she has an anxiety disorder.”

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