Unloading Marital Baggage

| Prospect, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

(A man comes up to the register with a full shopping cart.)

Me: “Paper or plastic?”

Customer: “I’d like double bagged paper, and I’d like you to make each bag as heavy as possible.”

Me: “Okay.”

(After I manage to get all of his groceries into three very heavy bags and bring them out to his car.)

Customer: “In case you’re wondering, I just had a fight with my wife and it’s my turn to pick up the groceries.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Customer: “It’s also her turn to unload the car.”

English Is Going Down (Under)

| Melbourne, Australia | Language & Words, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Customer: “What country are you from?”

Me: “England.”

Customer: “Oh, no wonder you don’t speak English properly.”

Homeless Meets Thoughtless

| Dalton, GA, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(A woman comes up to me while I’m taking down the dried out, bad corn from the display.)

Customer: "You just throw those away?"

Me: "Yep, we have to throw out the bad ones."

Customer: "You mean they don’t donate it to the poor or anything?"

Me: "Well, no. Our store does donate to the unfortunate, but it’s usually money or fresh product."

Customer: "But poor people are used to eating bad food! They eat out of the trash all the time! You don’t have to give them good food!"

Cinnamon Never Tasted So Bitter

| Michigan, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a grocery store where our policy is to take a customer to the aisle of the item they are looking for instead of just telling them the aisle number.)

Customer: “Um, excuse me! Where do you keep your cinnamon?”

Me: “It’s in the baking aisle. If you follow me, I can take you over to the right aisle.”

Customer: “No. Can’t you just tell me where it is? I’m sick of you people. All I want to do is buy my groceries and you all keep saying hello to me and smiling at me! Where’s the d*** aisle?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, cinnamon is located in aisle 8.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager. You people are too f***ing cheerful. I can’t stand it!”

Hard Sell, Soft Drinks

| Los Altos, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, do you have any diet soda water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think that exists.”

Customer: “Yeah it does. I’ve bought it here before.”

Me: “Ma’am, diet soda water is pretty much diet water.”

Customer: “That’s okay too. Do you have that?”

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