Lost In Time And Retail Space

| Billings, MT, USA | Top

(I’ve worked in the store for over a year. There is also a small pin on my badge saying ‘serving you since 2008’.)

Customer: “Hi! Are you new? I haven’t seen you here before.”

Me: “Actually, no, I’ve worked here for a year and a half.”

Customer: “No way! I shop here everyday! I’ve never seen you!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you that I’ve worked here for that long. Look at my name badge.”

Customer: “I want to see your manager! You’re a liar! It says you’ve been here since 2008!”

Me: “I have.”

Customer: “Who did you steal that pin from?”

Me: “It’s mine.”

(My manager comes over.)

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “This girl is a liar! She’s says she worked here since 2008!”

Manager: “She has.”

Customer: “2008 hasn’t even happened yet!”

Pajama Drama

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am a customer at a 24-hour store at about 3am. I noticed that the store uses the same system at my own store. Since the cashier is new to his job, I am teaching him how to put in coupons when another customer comes up.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Cashier: “Yes? Did you need something?”

Customer: “No, her.” *points to me*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You’re using the till!”

Me: “I work at a different grocery store. I’m just helping him out.”

Customer: “I can’t believe they let you work here in pajamas!”

Me: “I’m not working right now.”

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

Cashier: “He’s asleep.”

Customer: “So what you guys do is wear pajamas and take naps when there are no customers?”

Me: “Well, of course.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay!”

Bloody Stupid

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Top

(The previous customer had purchased nineteen whole chickens. The packaging leaked chicken blood/juice onto the cashier belt.)

Me: “Just one second, ma’am. I’m going to clean the belt off first. There’s a ton of chicken blood on it and it’s pretty nasty.”

Customer: “Excuse me? Do you think I’m stupid?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite get what you mean.”

Customer: “I’m not an idiot. A chicken is a bird, and birds don’t bleed!”

Too Ham Fisted To Realize

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, ma’am. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Do you have any kosher ham here?”

Me: “No, I don’t think there is such a thing.”

Customer: “Darn it! I’ve been to three stores today, and none of them had it either. My husband’s parents are in town, and they’re Jewish. I wanted to make them dinner.”

Me: “I don’t think Jews are allowed to eat pig.”

Customer: “Duh, that’s why I need to get it kosher, so they can eat it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think they make any kosher ham.”

Customer: “What about pork?”

Judging Helps You To (Ac)Quit Unhealthy Eating

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Uncategorized

(A woman comes into my cashier line with a single bag of chips.)

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

Customer: “You rang me up last time! Don’t judge me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “You’re judging me! Stop judging me!”

Me: “Ma’am, I was just asking if you found everything.”

Customer: “Stop judging me!” *begins gasping hysterically*

Manager: “Ma’am, how can I assist you? What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “She’s judging me! She’s going to call my husband!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no idea who your husband is. I won’t be calling him.”

Customer: “You rang me up last time and now you’re judging me!”

Manager: “What did she say to you?”

Customer: “Nothing! But she knows I bought these chips yesterday!”

Me: “Ma’am, I may have rung you up yesterday, but I don’t recall doing so. I handle hundreds of transactions.”

Customer: “You’re lying! You know I bought these chips and you know that I’ve eaten the whole bag already and you’re going to call my husband! I was going to sneak these into the house so he wouldn’t know I’d finished the bag but you’re judging me!”

Page 95/126First...9394959697...Last