(A man comes up to the register with a full shopping cart.)
Me: “Paper or plastic?”
Customer: “I’d like double bagged paper, and I’d like you to make each bag as heavy as possible.”
(After I manage to get all of his groceries into three very heavy bags and bring them out to his car.)
Customer: “In case you’re wondering, I just had a fight with my wife and it’s my turn to pick up the groceries.”
Customer: “It’s also her turn to unload the car.”
Me: “Hello, how are you?”
Customer: “What country are you from?”
Customer: “Oh, no wonder you don’t speak English properly.”
(A woman comes up to me while I’m taking down the dried out, bad corn from the display.)
Customer: "You just throw those away?"
Me: "Yep, we have to throw out the bad ones."
Customer: "You mean they don’t donate it to the poor or anything?"
Me: "Well, no. Our store does donate to the unfortunate, but it’s usually money or fresh product."
Customer: "But poor people are used to eating bad food! They eat out of the trash all the time! You don’t have to give them good food!"
(I work at a grocery store where our policy is to take a customer to the aisle of the item they are looking for instead of just telling them the aisle number.)
Customer: “Um, excuse me! Where do you keep your cinnamon?”
Me: “It’s in the baking aisle. If you follow me, I can take you over to the right aisle.”
Customer: “No. Can’t you just tell me where it is? I’m sick of you people. All I want to do is buy my groceries and you all keep saying hello to me and smiling at me! Where’s the d*** aisle?”
Me: “Well, ma’am, cinnamon is located in aisle 8.”
Customer: “I want to speak to your manager. You people are too f***ing cheerful. I can’t stand it!”
Customer: “Hi, do you have any diet soda water?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think that exists.”
Customer: “Yeah it does. I’ve bought it here before.”
Me: “Ma’am, diet soda water is pretty much diet water.”
Customer: “That’s okay too. Do you have that?”