November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Parking Up The Wrong Tree

| OH, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks in to the Service Desk.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Is there something that I can help you with?”

Customer: “That car in your parking lot has been sitting there for over a week and has not been moved! Shouldn’t you guys do something about that? I live across the street and I am absolutely sick of looking at it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it is broken down and we have informed the Sheriff’s department about it. It will be towed if they cannot contact the owner.”

Customer: “Well, that is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Cars that have nothing to do with the store should not be parked here! I am so angry! Where are my dinner guests going to park now?!”

Should Have Heard It From The Grape Vine

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Uncategorized

(I work the register and a young customer puts her stuff onto the belt.)

Me: “How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Good, just buying stuff for my culinary class.”

(I notice she has cooking wine, which requires a person to be 21 to buy.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “You have to be 21 to purchase the cooking wine.”

Customer: “You mean cooking wine is actually wine?”

Love A Jedi Shall Know

| Austin, TX, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

(I was at work and I saw two girls from my college I knew as acquaintances, but not as much more than that. I had a crush on one of them as she was really pretty and seemed nice for the most part. I watched as she and her friend approached the register.)

My Crush: “No, you’re wrong! I’m telling you, he never said that!”

(I assumed they were gossiping about something until I listened a little more to the conversation.)

Her Friend: “No, he did! He totally did! We watched it last night, stupid!”

My Crush: “Obi-Wan never says, ‘I love you, Anakin’. The line is ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you!’.”

Her Friend: “No!”

My Crush: *turns to me* “Oh hey [my name]! What’s up?”

Me: “Not much. I’m good. And you’re right; Obi-Wan’s line was ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you’.”

My Crush: “Oh, my God, thank you!” *turns to her friend* “And you call yourself a Star Wars fan.”

(Her friend scowled, but they paid and said goodbye. I watched as they got to the automatic doors. Her friend pretended to use ‘The Force’ on them. Suddenly, my crush jumped in front of her.)


(I walked over and asked her out. We got married a month ago.)

Margarinelly Insane

| Surrey, UK | Uncategorized

Old Lady: *shouting randomly* “Marge? Marge?”

Me: “Are you OK?”

Old Lady: *worriedly* “I can’t find Marge!”

Me: “OK, I’ll see if I can find someone to help you.”

Old Lady: “Please don’t go, you must help me find Marge!”

Me: “OK, what does she look like?”

Old Lady: “Who?”

Me: “Your friend Marge?”

Old Lady: “I’m looking for margarine, it should be next to the butter!”

The Lesser Of Teen Evils

| North Carolina, USA | Top

(A man and his two sons are checking out through my register. The younger of the two sons grabs a bag of Skittles from the candy selection.)

Son: “Dad, can I have some Skittles?”

Dad: “No. Teenage girls eat Skittles. And what are teenage girls?”

Both sons: *raising their little fists in the air* “EVIL!”