Hard Sell, Soft Drinks

| Los Altos, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, do you have any diet soda water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think that exists.”

Customer: “Yeah it does. I’ve bought it here before.”

Me: “Ma’am, diet soda water is pretty much diet water.”

Customer: “That’s okay too. Do you have that?”

See No Evil, Speak The Rest

| USA | Uncategorized

(An elderly customer is checking out.)

Customer: “How do I use this card?”

Me: “All you have to do is slide it through, then push the ‘debit’ button on the left.”

Customer: ”Thanks. What does ‘PIN’ mean?”

Me: “Your pin number is the number that goes with your card. You just need to enter it in and hit the green button in the corner.”

Customer: “Okay, but turn around. I don’t need you stealing my money away.”

(I think she is joking, but she stares at me until I turn around. She then states each number in her pin out loud as she pushes the buttons.)

Customer: “You didn’t peek, did you?”

Related:
Hear No Evil Get Blinded By No Evil
See No Evil, Grope No Evil

Pain In The Derrière

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(A customer comes up to me holding a package of Naan bread.)

Customer: What kind of bread is this?”

Me: “That’s just plain white naan.”

Customer: “They forgot the ‘L’.” *points to the words ‘Naan Pain’ on the front of the package*

Me: “Oh, that’s French for ‘bread’.”

Customer: “So the flavor isn’t pain?”

Me: “No, sir, pain isn’t a flavor.”

The Only Thing It Swallowed Was Her Pride

| St. Augustine, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Oh miss, I have a problem.”

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “The ATM took my card. It says here though that its invalid, and my card is out of date, so maybe that’s why.”

(I get the keys to the ATM and open it up.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but your card is not in there. Are you sure it took it?”

Customer: “No, it did, it did! *pulls out an ATM card* “It looks like this! Oh wait…this is my card. Never mind.”

Aisle Be Watching You

| Long Island, NY, USA | Top

(I’ve misunderstood a question and directed the customer to the wrong aisle. I’m trying to tell her the correct aisle.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. I thought you meant something else. What you’re looking for is actually down aisle 8. It’s the last item on the right.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you, and I’m too tired to look for it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can verify that it is in aisle 8. There is a display a few feet away so you won’t have to walk all the way down there.”

Customer: “What is the store phone number?”

(The customer dials the store number with the phone in front of me. It’s on speaker phone so I hear ringing on her end and then ringing on my phone. I pick up the phone and look right at the customer standing no more than a foot away from me.)

Me: “Hello [store name].”

Customer: “Yes, hi. I have a question about a product you sell. What aisle is [product] down?”

Me: “Aisle 8. Last item on the right.”

Customer: “Thank you.” *hangs up, looks at me* “At least she knew what she was talking about!”

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