Cinnamon Never Tasted So Bitter

| Michigan, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a grocery store where our policy is to take a customer to the aisle of the item they are looking for instead of just telling them the aisle number.)

Customer: “Um, excuse me! Where do you keep your cinnamon?”

Me: “It’s in the baking aisle. If you follow me, I can take you over to the right aisle.”

Customer: “No. Can’t you just tell me where it is? I’m sick of you people. All I want to do is buy my groceries and you all keep saying hello to me and smiling at me! Where’s the d*** aisle?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, cinnamon is located in aisle 8.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager. You people are too f***ing cheerful. I can’t stand it!”

Hard Sell, Soft Drinks

| Los Altos, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, do you have any diet soda water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think that exists.”

Customer: “Yeah it does. I’ve bought it here before.”

Me: “Ma’am, diet soda water is pretty much diet water.”

Customer: “That’s okay too. Do you have that?”

See No Evil, Speak The Rest

| USA | Uncategorized

(An elderly customer is checking out.)

Customer: “How do I use this card?”

Me: “All you have to do is slide it through, then push the ‘debit’ button on the left.”

Customer: ”Thanks. What does ‘PIN’ mean?”

Me: “Your pin number is the number that goes with your card. You just need to enter it in and hit the green button in the corner.”

Customer: “Okay, but turn around. I don’t need you stealing my money away.”

(I think she is joking, but she stares at me until I turn around. She then states each number in her pin out loud as she pushes the buttons.)

Customer: “You didn’t peek, did you?”

Related:
Hear No Evil Get Blinded By No Evil
See No Evil, Grope No Evil

Pain In The Derrière

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(A customer comes up to me holding a package of Naan bread.)

Customer: What kind of bread is this?”

Me: “That’s just plain white naan.”

Customer: “They forgot the ‘L’.” *points to the words ‘Naan Pain’ on the front of the package*

Me: “Oh, that’s French for ‘bread’.”

Customer: “So the flavor isn’t pain?”

Me: “No, sir, pain isn’t a flavor.”

The Only Thing It Swallowed Was Her Pride

| St. Augustine, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Oh miss, I have a problem.”

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “The ATM took my card. It says here though that its invalid, and my card is out of date, so maybe that’s why.”

(I get the keys to the ATM and open it up.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but your card is not in there. Are you sure it took it?”

Customer: “No, it did, it did! *pulls out an ATM card* “It looks like this! Oh wait…this is my card. Never mind.”

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