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    The Mother Of Bad Decisions

    | SD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I am working at the customer service desk at the grocery store in my town. It’s about three in the afternoon, and I’m an hour into an eight-hour shift. I am alone at the front of the store, when a customer that I do not know comes up to me.)

    Me: “Hello. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “Hey, I need a babysitter for my kid tonight. Can you come and do it?”

    (I’m a little taken aback but give her a smile anyway.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but I am working the closing shift tonight.”

    Customer: “Great! Who is supposed to watch my kid tonight? I have very important plans!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

    Customer: “Thanks a lot! You just ruined my entire night! Teenagers today are so lazy and worthless!”

    (I stare at her open-mouthed as she stomps away. A few minutes later, I see her ask another one of my coworkers, whom politely declines, because she’s also working all night. The customer rushes out of the store cussing, leaving her full cart of groceries behind.)

    Going Barking Mad

    | Surrey, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I am working the customer service counter at a local grocery store.)

    Customer: *puts a bag of dog food on the counter* “I’d like to return this.”

    Me: “Certainly. Was there anything wrong with it?”

    Customer: “No. I’m pregnant, and I’m losing my mind. I have a cat.”

    Separate Yourself From Sense

    | Madison, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work as a cashier.)

    Customer: “Hi. I’d like to do two separate transactions.”

    Me: “No problem!”

    (The customer divides her groceries into two piles. I finish the first, total it, and she pays. I begin to ring up the second order.)

    Customer: “WHAT are you doing?!”

    Me: “Uh… I just completed your first order, so now I’m doing your second.”

    Customer: “But WHY did you separate them?”

    Me: “Because… you told me to?”

    (At this point, the customer behind her starts giggling.)

    Customer: “… Oh.”

    Getting A Man-Handle On Your Words

    | Flagstaff, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I am a woman, and I am cashiering at a grocery store that is conducting a charitable fund drive. I am packing a chatty man’s groceries into his backpack.)

    Man: “Look at how you just get that all in there! You’re really man-handling that stuff!”

    Me: *packing the last two things, which are pieces of fruit* “Oh, but I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

    Man: “I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

    (I splutter and stare at this, torn between outrage and hilarity.)

    Man: “I’m sorry.” *as if to himself* “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

    Me: “To make it up to me, you will donate to our fundraiser.”

    Man: “Deal.”

    Popped Off

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer walks into the store and walks over to the service desk with a cart FULL of pop.)

    Customer: “I want to return this pop. I didn’t seem to need it.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t a brand we carry. You have to buy the pop here at our store in order to return it here.”

    Customer: “I bought them here last week! I just want my d*** money back!”

    Coworker: “Do you have a receipt?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my d*** receipt. Don’t you have it on file?”

    Coworker: “I apologize, but we don’t.”

    (The customer immediately kicks over the whole cart of 30 bottles of pop and storms away. We all stand there in shock after, but on a positive note we all got to keep the pop that he had left behind!)


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