October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Nonplussed Customers

| Dillon, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

Customer: “Something isn’t right with these two signs about the pears on sale. One says $1.00 for 1 pound, and the other says $10 for 10 pounds. Which is it?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, that’s the same thing.”

Customer: “Excuse me, but I actually went to college. I think I can do basic math.”

Me: “Let’s look at it this way. If it’s $1 for 1 pound, how much would 3 pounds be?”

Customer: “$3.”

Me: “Yep, and how much would 5 pounds be?”

Customer: “$5.”

Me: “Awesome. How much would 10 pounds be?”

Customer: “$10.” *pause* “Those signs are misleading!” *storms off*

Batty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

| Toledo, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Uncategorized

(I’m a customer at a grocery store. We’re in a snow storm and people have gone mad in preparation, buying most of the bread, eggs, and milk.)

Customer: *inches from the cashier’s face* “MILK AND BREAD! MILK AND BREAD!”

Cashier: *stunned*

Customer: “I bet all the customers were like that today, huh? All those crazy people buying up all that stuff! But not me, I’m not crazy!” *walks away*

Cashier: *nervously laughs while looking at me wide-eyed*

Our Great Dumbocracy, Part 3

| Framingham, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Politics, Uncategorized

(We’ve just recently switched to a new system where receipts are optional.)

Me: “…and would you like a receipt today?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “We’re now only printing receipts if you’d like one, in order to save paper. Would you like a receipt?”

Customer: “Of course I want my receipt! You know, it’s young punks like you who do all your online banking who are responsible for 9-11! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Our Great Dumbocracy, Part 2
Our Great Dumbocracy

The Grapes Of Telepaths

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m a merchandiser working one of the stores on my route. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “White wine!”

Me: “You want a white wine?”

Customer: “White wine!”

Me: “Okay, sir. How about this one?”

(I hold out a bottle of Chardonnay.)

Customer: “That’s yellow. I want white wine.”

Me: “Okay. How about a White Zinfandel?”

Customer: “That’s pink. White wine!”

Me: “Okay, how about this?”

(I hold out a bottle of Pinot Grigio.)

Customer: “That’s clear. I want white!”

Me: “Sir, these are all white wines I’m showing you.”

Customer: “I want a white wine!”

Me: “Sir, these are white wines. ”

Customer: “That one’s yellow. That one’s pink. That one’s clear. I want white wine!”

(This went on for another ten minutes until his friend showed up. Turns out he wanted a yellow Chardonnay.)

Concentrate Harder

| CT, USA | Uncategorized

(I am at a sample station of apple cider.)

Customer: “Oh, apple cider!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Would you like to try some?”

(At this point the customer picks up the bottle.)

Customer: “Oh, it’s not from concentrate. That means I can try some! I’m allergic to apples, you know.”

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