(A woman comes up to me while I’m taking down the dried out, bad corn from the display.)
Customer: "You just throw those away?"
Me: "Yep, we have to throw out the bad ones."
Customer: "You mean they don’t donate it to the poor or anything?"
Me: "Well, no. Our store does donate to the unfortunate, but it’s usually money or fresh product."
Customer: "But poor people are used to eating bad food! They eat out of the trash all the time! You don’t have to give them good food!"
(I work at a grocery store where our policy is to take a customer to the aisle of the item they are looking for instead of just telling them the aisle number.)
Customer: “Um, excuse me! Where do you keep your cinnamon?”
Me: “It’s in the baking aisle. If you follow me, I can take you over to the right aisle.”
Customer: “No. Can’t you just tell me where it is? I’m sick of you people. All I want to do is buy my groceries and you all keep saying hello to me and smiling at me! Where’s the d*** aisle?”
Me: “Well, ma’am, cinnamon is located in aisle 8.”
Customer: “I want to speak to your manager. You people are too f***ing cheerful. I can’t stand it!”
Customer: “Hi, do you have any diet soda water?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think that exists.”
Customer: “Yeah it does. I’ve bought it here before.”
Me: “Ma’am, diet soda water is pretty much diet water.”
Customer: “That’s okay too. Do you have that?”
(An elderly customer is checking out.)
Customer: “How do I use this card?”
Me: “All you have to do is slide it through, then push the ‘debit’ button on the left.”
Customer: ”Thanks. What does ‘PIN’ mean?”
Me: “Your pin number is the number that goes with your card. You just need to enter it in and hit the green button in the corner.”
Customer: “Okay, but turn around. I don’t need you stealing my money away.”
(I think she is joking, but she stares at me until I turn around. She then states each number in her pin out loud as she pushes the buttons.)
Customer: “You didn’t peek, did you?”
Hear No Evil Get Blinded By No Evil
See No Evil, Grope No Evil
(A customer comes up to me holding a package of Naan bread.)
Customer: What kind of bread is this?”
Me: “That’s just plain white naan.”
Customer: “They forgot the ‘L’.” *points to the words ‘Naan Pain’ on the front of the package*
Me: “Oh, that’s French for ‘bread’.”
Customer: “So the flavor isn’t pain?”
Me: “No, sir, pain isn’t a flavor.”