November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Brand Spankin’ New Employee

| Richfield, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(This is my first job. A customer walks up to my register to check out his items. However, my register is malfunctioning and I can not scan more than 15 items.)

Customer: “Hello there, young’un. Just these for me today.”

Me: “I do apologize sir, but I cannot scan more than 15 items today.”

(I turn my head to see if there is another register open when I feel a hard pull on my collar. Suddenly, the customer pulls me over the register.)

Customer: “I’ll teach you to disrespect your elders!”

(He starts spanking me with his cane right by my aisle in view of my manager.)

Manager: “I’d stop this, but it is really entertaining.”

Young And (Alcohol) Free

| MI, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: *holding a bottle of wine* “Are you old enough to sell me this?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

(I reach out to take the bottle, but he refuses to hand it to me.)

Customer: “Are you sure that you’re old enough?”

Me: “Yes. I wouldn’t be a cashier otherwise. I’m pretty sure you only have to be eighteen.”

Customer: “Are you eighteen?”

Me: “Nineteen, yes. Would you like me to sell you it?”

(The customer finally releases his hold on the wine. I begin to scan.)

Customer: “Are you sure you’re allowed to? You look pretty young.”

Me: “I’m old enough.”

Customer: “Do I get a discount for calling you young?”

Peppered With Mistakes

| Richmond, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Is that chicken?”

Me: “No, they are stuffed jalapeños.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s pork?”

Me: “No, it’s a stuffed jalapeño.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “A pepper.”

Customer: “Is that so?”

(The customer’s husband approaches and sees the stuffed jalapeños.)

Customer’s husband: “What is that?”

Me: “Stuffed jalapeños.”

Customer’s husband: “Oh, so it’s fish?”

His Argument Will Lose Him Ground

| Beaverton, OR, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I don’t understand what this sign says.”

(The customer points to a sign above the organic section. It indicates that all produce needs to be washed thoroughly.)

Me: “It means that before you eat any product, you should wash it.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because there might be dirt or other things on the item.”

Customer: “But these are organic!”

Me: “Organic means they were grown only with natural substances.”

Customer: “Dirt isn’t natural!”

Not Economically Gifted

| PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “Do you sell gift cards that can be used anywhere?”

Me: “Do you mean something like a gift card that can be used in a certain mall?”

Customer: “No. Gift cards that can be used wherever someone wants to use them.”

Me: “Do you mean money?”

Customer: “Yes. Just like money…only a gift card.”