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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Be Prepared… For Some Womanly Advice

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (Note: I’m a teenager and doing Girl Scout fund raising by bagging at a local grocery store. All the other lanes had baggers, leaving me at self-check out. A customer notices me reaching for his items.)

    Customer: “I… uh… please… uh… DON’T!”

    (I notice his purchase consists of condoms, roses, and chocolates.)

    Me: “Oh! So, anniversary, or did you just piss her off?”

    Customer: “The second.”

    Me: “That bad, eh?”

    Customer: “Yeah, and she hasn’t given me any since! What kind of bulls*** is that?”

    Me: “When did this start happening?”

    Customer: “Like a week ago! I don’t even know what I did wrong!”

    Me: “Don’t you think it’s a bit early for these?” *holds up the box of condoms*

    Customer: *sarcastically* “What would a Girl Scout know anyways? Since you’re the expert, why don’t you tell me what to do?”

    (I talk to the guy for around 15 minutes and he leaves. The next week, he comes in while I’m bagging as usual. Without a word, he comes up to me, hands me a $20 bill and leaves without buying anything.)

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    A Dawning Realization Of One’s Dimness

    | St. Paul, MN, USA |

    Me: “Okay, that will be $5.93 for the cigarettes.”

    (The customer hands me a five dollar bill, puts the cigarettes in her pocket and starts walking off.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but you didn’t give me enough money. You only gave me $5 and the total was $5.93.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I gave you five.” *points at the money*

    Me: “Yes, but the total is five dollars and ninety-three cents.”

    Customer: *angrily* “Yeah, I gave you five dollars!”

    Me: “It’s not enough. I need about a dollar more. Would you like to get something different or cheaper maybe?”

    Customer: “No, I want this one!”

    Me: “Well, I can’t sell these to you when you don’t have enough to pay for it.”

    Customer: “Well, what am I gonna do?”

    Me: “Go home and get more money?”

    (Her expression suddenly brightens.)

    Customer: “Oh! Yeah, okay! I’ll go do that I’ll be right back!” *gives cigarettes back and leaves cheerily*

    While We’re At It, Let’s Find Your Lost Marbles Too

    | Springfield, VT, USA |

    (I’m a cashier at a grocery story and recently lost my voice. I just cashed out the following customer…)

    Customer, to supervisor: “She was very rude! She didn’t speak to me once during the order!”

    Supervisor: “I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am, but this cashier has lost her voice.”

    Customer: *totally serious* “Oh. Are you looking for it?”

    It’s Probably Not Flushable Anymore

    | Dublin |

    Me: “Hello, how can I help?”

    Customer: “Hi, I need to know something very important, very quickly.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to help. What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Is your toilet paper… is it flushable? Like, can I flush it down the toilet?”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure if it’s toilet paper it’s flushable, yes.”

    Customer: “Well *** brand says it’s flushable but your brand doesn’t say that anywhere on it.”

    Me: “I think it’s assumed that toilet roll is flushable. What’s the alternative?”

    Customer: “Well, okay. Since I wasn’t sure, I’ve just been letting it sit in the bowl…”

    No One Ever Said It Would Be Boring…

    | Peterborough, Ontario, Canada | Top

    (This happened on my first day of the job.)

    Me: “Welcome to [grocery store].”

    Customer: “Take off your glasses.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “They’re all pink and red; I can’t see your eyes!”

    Me: “That’s because they’re tinted that way for a reason. Red increases contrast, and I’m photophobic.”

    Customer: “What? You’re afraid of light? D*** VAMPI–”

    Me: “–NO, no, no. It just means bright light hurts my eyes.”

    Customer: “All right, ring these up.”

    (Looking down, I notice he has bagged peaches. A LOT of them. As it’s my first day, I have to search for the code for them, and they lack a barcode.)

    Customer: “Well? They’re peaches.”

    Me: “I know, let me just–”

    Customer:Peaches! Come on, they’re peaches. Just ring them up.”

    Me: “Sorry, just a moment.” *grabbing phone* “What’s the code for–”

    Customer: “THESE. ARE. PEACCHEESSSS!”

    (He grabs one of the bags of peaches, swings it around until it TEARS open and peaches go flying everywhere, then he runs out of the store.)

    Coworker: *on the phone* “Aha, so you met the peaches guy on your first day? I remember my first time meeting him…”

    Me: “…”


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